Sunday, July 20, 2008

US vs. Australia: Take 1

Considering that I have now 'lived' in Australia for a while, I think it is only fair that we do a critical comparison of the two societies. Well, maybe not so critical and professional, but more like a 'here's what differs' kind of posting.

The People:
I think this is a push. Yeah there are ugly Americans and stupid white men and corn fed women (and a million other stereotypes). But there are also lots and lots of perfectly normal nice Americans (I should know, I was friends with quite a few of them). And I think the same holds for Australia as well. My understanding is that large parts of the Outback are very much red-neck type country (just to stay with the stereotypes) but take a trip down to Sydney and just see how cosmopolitan of a city it is and just how nice the people are (not unlike a Chicago, you would say). And, its perfectly acceptable to say things like 'Crikey Mate!' in a bar. So yeah, that one is a push.

The Media:
The Australian media wins this one hands down - the questions asked of politicians is a lot more pointed and the reporting is actually a little bit more thorough. Yes there are solid journalistic publications in the US (The New York Times, The WSJ, Andersoon Cooper 360 - even though it has a funny name and the set looks like a CIA set out of a bad cold war movie, etc.). And yes, the new media of blogs and Jon Stewart shows does cover the hard topics in a tongue in cheek manner, but they are very much in the minority and do not at this point represent the views of the mainstream media. But top to bottom, the Australian brand of journalism is less partisan, has fewer freebie questions and asks significantly harder questions of people in power.

The Work:
Caveat: My work experiences have been limited to consulting and therefore any comparisons are of one consulting environment to another (i.e. not representative of the broader economy). I think American's work a lot harder than a lot of people. But I do think the Australians work more efficiently. You put in a solid 8-9 hour day and then use the evening to generally unwind and catch up with all the other things that go on in this thing called 'life'. America though was one marathon day after another - yes, you made a little bit more money (and yes, it is only more money) but the quality of life was absolutely shot. Here I can have a solid day at work, hang out with friends in the evening, go down to the beach on the weekends... all sorts of stuff. So this one, will have to go to the Australians as well.

Sports:
Nothing - and I do mean nothing - beats college football on a Saturday. Especially Texas football. Weekend afternoon games at Wrigley are tremendous fun as well. But I just don't see myself getting into Rugby and Aussie rules the same way I got into college football. The Americans win this round by four of five touchdowns (though the spread may change after the Australia v. South Africa cricket series later this year).

Life in General:
The Australian's do seem to have a better lifestyle (in many ways they have managed to figure out the whole work life balance thing which remains, to a large extent, a vague HR policy in many US firms). But, nothing beats rampant American consumerism. The littany of things I am having to contend with is absolutely ridiculous:
- Internet access where you pay by how much you use (no unlimited broadband)
- Stores that shut at 7:30 on weekdays and marginally later on weekends
- Ridiculous (and I mean RIDICULOUS) luxury taxes on all the cars I would consider buying
- Cell phone plans where you pay $X to get $Y of credit (can't we just have mintues?)
- Rent that must be paid weekly (won't you just take a cheque for the whole month)
- Debit cards that are not linked to your account (i.e. you have to preload them)
(but i reckon these are small prices to pay for a better lifestyle).

So that is Australia in a nutshell for now - haven't really figured out all the politics and parties system yet (but still have a nagging suspicion that the democrats will somehow manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory). That may be a topic for another time (along with my trips to S.E.Asia and my experiences with the i(Jesus)-phone.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Cheers Mate!!!

Here is to the first of many posts from the land down under… good old Sydney… it has all the charm of San Francisco, the friendliness of the mid-west and a (sort of) bad-ass cricket team. What’s not to like?

So much to say, so little time… and this time I have a proper excuse for not blogging for so long: dial-up.

Dial-up connections have to be some of the worst inventions still in use (the other contender being Lotus Notes which is used by a surprising large number of corporations). But, some parts of the world don’t have broadband yet so I had to make do with what I had. Needless to say, composing and editing and posting a blog over a dial-up connection is like trying to get water out of a stone. You are much better off not blogging.

So I didn’t for the two months I was in Kenya.

Nairobi amazes me on several levels. On one hand, it remains the one city in the world where you can have a rip-roaring Friday/Saturday night revelry at a bar till the wee hours of the morning, sober up on deliciously greasy stuff at 4:30 in the morning and go for a game drive at 6:00 in the morning. May I present Exhibit A:


(Lion after a kill)

And Exhibit B – a little later in the morning but totally worth it as it is the first rhino I have seen in the wild during my close to 20 years in Africa.



(My first rhino in Africa... and yes that is Nairobi in the background)

Speaking of safaris, I also went camping in the Mara – awesome lion pictures to be posted soon. Alas, still have not seen a leopard in any sort of a decent view.

But enough about my vacations – lets talk about Australia. It is a country that has pretty much lived up to most of my expectations. On one front though, it has totally blown me out of the water – they have such a thing as “The Media” down under.

Two cases in point within the week. Some MP and his wife (also an MP) had a few too many at a bar and picked an argument with some of the bar staff. Couple of days later the lady MP is in anger management therapy and the dude has been sacked (Look up John Della Bosca on Google).

Why? Because the media did not let the story die. Imagine – and this might require a good long stretch of the imagination – what might have happened if the media in the US & UK did the same kind of thing about 5 years ago. Say right about the time everyone was either with the US or against the US?

[If you still completely, totally lost, look up “The War on Terror”, “Nincompoop” or “Douchebag”]

Case in point # 2: the Prime Minister of Australia (equivalent to the President in the US) actually goes on TV once a month [the channels rotate] and gives an interview!!!! The news anchor is free to ask the Prime Minister all sorts of questions for 30 mins. Topics discussed last week include the state of the economy (strong to very strong), rising gas prices (yup, they will rise some more) and the Aussie cricket team (not as weak as some people were expecting, but then again, its just the windies).

I don’t know about you but this seems a whole lot more like “The No Spin Zone” that what goes on at Fox (Search for any number of Rumsfeld / Cheney “interviews” on YouTube and you will know what I mean).

All this brings me to a great point in time. A time to sit back and reflect on my 8 years in the US. A time to think about all that is great about the US (plenty of things) and all that is wrong about the US (plenty of things).

So I offer you somewhat of a memoir if you will – my ramblings on a variety of topics surrounding life in the US. Topics include:

- The Media
- The People
- Work stuff
- Sports
- Politics & the legal environment
- Life in general (a.k.a everything else I have forgotten to list)

So from down under… cheers mate!!!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Cheers Mate!!!

Ahoy from down under... expect more postings soon!

Monday, April 07, 2008

Au Revoir...

I never gave much thought to this day. I figured it would come at some point and that I would worry about it at that point. Well the point is here and I am sitting in Chicago waiting to board a flight to London. Leaving the country for good and picking up a new gig in Sydney.

Truth be told, and despite my constant criticisms of the American political system (or perhaps because I can speak so boldly in this country), I am an unabashed admirer of all things American. College Football (don't even get me started on how I am going to deal with that in Sydney). The Daily Show (I may now have to rely on an actual news program like - gasp! - the BBC). BBQ (nothing in the world comes quite as close).

So it is only fitting that my last post (for now) from the United States be about the things that I have loved and the things I have hated about this country. Lets begin with the things I definitely will not miss (if only so that I can end on a happy note).

  1. The Bush Presidency: A DISASTER by every yardstick possible. Unfortunately he is also the only American president I have had the (dis)honor of living in America with.
  2. Thunderstorms on Thursday evenings at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport - Nothing more needs to be said.
  3. Baseball - Why? Because it is a sad excuse for a 'sport', totally uninteresting and an excuse for getting wasted on a nice afternoon. Plus, it cuts into your drinking budget by at least $30.
  4. SUVs & Pickups that consume as much as a mortgage in gas payments - If you don't live on a farm/country and don't haul tons of stuff, there is no rational reason for you to own one of these monsters
  5. Bill O'Reilly - also see Bush Presidency. I am happy that I am moving to a country where I won't accidentally stumble upon his channel
  6. The INS: can you spell inefficiency? This place redefines bureaucracy and bone-headedness.
And what am I going to miss about the U, S of A? Lots....
  1. Texas Football in particular and College Football in general - I doubt I will find another show that is as captivating as College Football Gameday. And lets be honest, Texas Football still gives me goosebumps.
  2. Freebirds - Only like the best burritos ever!
  3. Pluckers - Only like the best chicken wings ever!
  4. Midwestern girls - Plain awesome, and very, very little attitude.
  5. Chicago's O'Hare Airport (when not thunderstorming) - Infinite weekend getaway possibilities
  6. The cities of Austin & Chicago - so different, but so bloody awesome at the same time. Book me down for spending the rest of my life in one of these two cities upon my return from Australia.
  7. The Other Side: Three words - Awesome Neighborhood Bar
  8. The Salt Lick
  9. Sushi Samba Rio
  10. My neighborhood driving range - just off Diversey
  11. Dr. Norman and all the 'research' that we did.
  12. My uncle in DC and his family (I will miss them immensely).
  13. Fall in Texas, Spring & Summer in Chicago
  14. My genius friends - every last single crackpot specimen.
And to everyone who has made my life in the US a great experience - thank you and see you down under.

Cheers Mate!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

So its been a while since I last posted on this blog. Partly because I have been terribly busy and mostly because I have been super lazy.

First things first, I will be moving to Sydney and taking up a gig there. I thought long and hard about going to graduate school but at the end of the day Sydney seemed like the right decision. Plus, it will give me a chance to throw another shrimp on the barbie. And try vegemite sandwiches. And down some Fosters. And check out the outback steakhouse (the real one).

From the day I came to Chicago, I told myself that before I left, i would go for a taping of the Jerry Springer show. Earlier this week, I had an opportunity to do just that. And not just any Jerry Springer show at that - it was the full blown completely uncensored PPV version (I had to sign a lengthy two page disclaimer just for the PPV version). So what was the show about?

Segment 1: Stripper A was living with her boyfriend and invited Stripper B to crash at her boyfriend's place when the latter loses her job. Stripper B promptly begins a relationship with Stripper A's boyfriend. All three are invited to the show and nudity and vicious catfight ensues.

Segment 2: Don't remember much of it other than that it involved a midget stripper named Cassie.

Segment 3: Skank A was pissed off at Skank B (her cousin no less!!!) who had begun to dress and style like her and had now usurped her boyfriend. The boyfriend was this crazy dude who had crazy beads woven into his hair. Nudity, vicious catfight and bead ripping ensues.

Real classy, folks.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Au Revoir Chicago!... Hello???

After several awesome years in this wonderful city, I must say that it is time for me to move on. I will be leaving Chicago on April 7th...Where am I going?

I wish I could tell you, but the truth of the matter is that I am as confused as anyone else about where I am going.

This has been a truly awesome city - from a crazy rock star kind of first year in Chicago (it was my first job and a relatively high paying one at that) to several years getting to know O'Hare airport rather intimately [all said and done, I will miss O'Hare and its endless weekend flight possibilities]. From a quaint little studio apartment on Surf street to a quaint little one-bedroom just down the block. The awesome range of restaurants I have been to in this wonderful city to the more awesome range of bars I have stumbled back from without quite realizing that I was stumbling back.

I will miss the French Toast at Bijan's, the wine list at Avec, the beers at Hopleaf and the hot dogs at the Wiener circle [quite possibly, in that order]. I will miss the 7:00 AM EPL games at Fado's, hot chocolate at Nomi [if you haven't tried it, may I HIGHLY suggest that you do], architectural tours on the lake & the river and random but seriously good eateries in Vietnamese town. I will miss drinking beers on the Metra and I will miss hopping off to random places for the weekend [Anchorage, Copenhagen, Manchester, Denver...] from O'Hare international airport.

Its been an awesome time here, I have met loads of great people and wherever I move to, I sincerely doubt it will eclipse my experiences here.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Silverman & Kimmel on to something...

Some time ago, Sarah Silverman produced this video for her show (and, probably, to poke fun at her boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel)... totally hilarious.




Last week, Jimmy Kimmel retailated... lets just say his all star cast included Josh Groban, Harrison Ford, Robin Williams, Rebecca Romijn and the star of them all ... McLovin!!

Post Debate Thoughts...

Here are some of the things I think I think after watching tonight's debate. Bear in mind, what I think I think or what you think I think I think has no actual implication on the primaries, caucuses or elections - I can't vote in this country.

But before we go into my reaction to the debate... hold the presses! Interrupt regular programming!! Something extremely newsworthy happened this evening. The media found its bloody spine!! [well, the NBC team of Brian Williams & Tim Russert at least]. Gone were the toss up questions [what is your plan for the economy? Do you think we should insure people or let them die by the roadside when they fall sick?] that allowed candidates to be vague and talk for five minutes. Russert & Williams did their research and asked some very difficult, pointed questions at both candidates. And they pressed each candidate on the questions - not allowing them to get off with a free pass. I will admit, they were a little bit harsher on Hillary, but given her meandering stance on NAFTA and her not releasing her tax returns, maybe it was a little expected.

With that being said, here are my words of wisdom.

Round 1 on Healthcare goes squarely to Hillary - she seems to know the stuff inside out, explains her arguments convincingly and offers good rebuttals to Obama. I personally think her plan is DOA [its not like the Democrats have that big a majority in Congress that they can push through legislation calling for garnishing wages]. That said, however, Hillary clearly and unequivocally defended her positions. Barrack, on the other hand, seemed to get lost in policyspeak and definitions of what was factual and what was not.

Round 2 on Foreign Policy goes to Barrack - I think he was very clear about saying that while he does not have 35 years of experience, he has demonstrated clear judgement when faced with important issues [Iraq, Pakistan, etc.]. Hillary's comments about how Obama was going to bomb Pakistan were way exaggerated and he patiently explained his point. Which only made Hillary look a little petty.

Speaking of petty, we will focus on all things petty in Round 3. Hillary most definitely - in my opinion - lost this one in my eyes. The whining about Obama not going first was uncalled for the remark about getting him pillows was downright caustic - there was no need for this and it only serves to exacerbate her 'bitchy' reputation. I will admit that the press does give Obama a little bit more of a free reign, but, caustic remarks on national television will get you nowhere. And the argument over whether Obama should 'reject' or 'denounce' Farrakhan's endorsement came off looking really bizarre.

Is HRC really that petty? Well... depends on what your definition of 'is' is.

Round 4 on Trade & the Economy goes (albeit, marginally) to Barrack. I think he did a great job on calling out Hillary's support for NAFTA during her years in the White House & the Senate [with more than a little help from Tim Russert]. That said, however, Barrack provided few details on how he would stimulate growth. I would still like to hear tangible plans for stimulating the economy, balancing the budget and saving legacy American industries like aviation & automobiles (or perhaps they should let some level of collapse?). So far, I have not heard tangibles from any of the candidates.

Round 5 [and again, this is a general round] goes to Hillary. Not because of what she did, but because of what Barrack has started doing. He is sounding more and more as a politician - giving nuanced answers to everything and refusing to take a firm stance on particular issues the way he used to in the past [Campaign finance, Farrakhan's endorsement]. I hate it when Hillary does it on a range of issues and am now hating Obama for starting to do this.

So, on the whole, from a pure debate and arguing their positions perspective I would have to call it a tie [one huge win on healthcare for Hillary, a couple of small wins for Obama here and there]. However, on the basis of Hillary's pettiness and potshots throughout the debate, I have to call it [marginally] for Obama.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Can you spot the media?

Old & busted...



New and 'has a spine'!!!

Monday, February 25, 2008

The Commute from Hell...

Sometime last week I had the veritable commute from hell.

I was to head out to California for an interview with a PE firm. I had booked myself on a 9:00 AM flight which got me into SFO around 11:15 - perfect timing for a 1:00 PM interview. I booked my return on a 10:15 PM redeye which got me back into Chicago around 5:30 AM. I basically even gave myself some time to visit old friends who now live in the Bay Area. And with the weather forecast to be cold [i.e no snow, rain, crazy winds, etc.] I was in for an easy commute.

Seems pretty straightforward to me.

WRONG!!!

At about 4:00 AM I get one of those automatic flight status notifications saying that my 9:00 AM flight was canceled [conveniently, due to 'Mechanical' reasons]. Now I am on the phone with United and turns out the only earlier flight was at 7:00 AM. And since I was already up and it made no point to go to sleep for just an hour, I just hung out for a while.

So I board my flight bleary eyed and already annoyed at United's mechanics. Truth be told, the flight itself was fairly uneventful.

I do my interviews in Berkeley and then hung out with Clare at Jupiter's in downtown Berkeley (good beers and great Pizza). But, I am confounded by the complete absence of bars in Berkeley that had TVs... all I wanted to do was have a beer and watch Barack and Hilary duke it out. You would think that Berkeley - this veritable bastion of liberal democracy - would be all over watching the debate. But I guess stranger things have happened in life.

But I digress.

And I get to the airport around 9:00 - well in time for my 11:15 flight back to Chicago. I try checking-in at the kiosk only to get an error message.

I take the issue up with one of the agents. He insists that I have booked my ticket for 21st March (a full month away). I wonder aloud why I would have done such a thing, but realizing the acute financial implications of my situation, asked him in my sweetest voice... "So what do we do now?".

He got me a spot on the standby list on a flight to Philadelphia [and a subsequent connection to Chicago]. So I bide my time by the gate and finally get a seat assignment - 16E. Middle seat, and not an Economy Plus one at that. But I have no choice as all the flights are full.

We land in Philadelphia to find an airport that is blanketed in snow. And the weirdest thing of all is that none of the bull dozers are doing anything to get rid of the snow. I swear we landed on a runway that was covered with snow and at one point we came to a full stop on one of the taxiways because there was no way of differentiating taxiways from the grass in between them. After something like 45 minutes on the taxiways, we pull in to our gate.

Halfway there... another halfway to go.

I board my flight to Chicago and we pull away from the gate on time. And then comes the surprise announcement - we have to de-ice. And there are 23 planes ahead of us. And it takes ~20 minutes to de-ice each aircraft

You do the math.

After sitting for 3 hours on the de-icing queue, we are successfully de-iced (I must confess, I enjoyed watching the de-icing process from my window) and take off for Chciago. I get home around 3 in the afternoon.

Completely, totally the commute from hell.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Awesome Kristof article in the NY Times....

Obama's Kenyan Roots
by Nicholas Kristof
KOGELO, Kenya
===============================

A barefoot old woman in a ripped dress is sitting on a log in front of her tin-roof bungalow in this remote village in western Kenya, jovially greeting visitors.

Mama Sarah, as she is known around here, lives without electricity or running water. She is illiterate and doesn’t know when she was born. Yet she may have a seat of honor at the next presidential inauguration in Washington — depending on what happens to her stepgrandson, Barack Obama.

Mama Sarah cannot communicate with Obama, who calls her his grandmother, because she speaks only her Luo tribal language and a little Swahili. Senator Obama’s Luo is pretty much limited to “musawa,” meaning “how are you?”

People around here are giddy at the prospect of a President Obama.

“I’m up at 4 a.m. or 5 a.m. to listen to BBC news and get the latest on the campaign,” said Nicholas Rajula, who describes himself as a cousin of the senator. “By the way, what’s the latest news about the superdelegates?”

You might think that all Kenyans would be vigorously supporting Mr. Obama. But Kenya has been fractured along ethnic lines in the last two months, so now Mr. Obama draws frenzied support from the Luo ethnic group of his ancestors, while many members of the rival Kikuyu group fervently support Hillary Rodham Clinton.

The Obamas are better off than most in the area, for Mama Sarah’s house has a tin roof — a step up from the mud huts with thatch roofs that are common in the village. Mama Sarah also has a cellphone, which she charges from a solar panel, and a radio that she uses to follow primaries in America.

But the poverty is unmistakable. Jane Raila, who says she is another relative of the senator, was hobbling barefoot with a homemade crutch, for she had been crippled by polio as a child. “We’re all very excited by the news from the U.S.,” she said. “We stay up late to listen to the news bulletins.”

Mr. Obama’s late grandfather is said to have been the first person in the area to wear Western clothes rather than just a loincloth. For a time he converted to Christianity and adopted the family name Johnson.

Later he converted to Islam, taking four wives. Senator Obama’s father, who apparently converted to Catholicism while attending a Catholic school, was also polygamous in keeping with local custom, taking an informal Kenyan wife who preceded Mr. Obama’s mother but remained a consort, according to accounts by local people and the senator himself.

The father, also named Barack Hussein Obama, was as much of a pathbreaker as his son. He went from herding goats in Kogelo to studying in Hawaii and at Harvard, even if his career as an economist was frustrated in part by ethnic rivalries.

Senator Obama barely knew his father and does not know his Kenyan relatives well. He has visited Kenya three times, most recently very briefly in 2006.

On his last visit, Mr. Obama visited two area schools that had been renamed for him. The intention in renaming the schools seems to have been partly to attract funding. One person after another noted pointedly that it was a shame that a school named for a great American should be so dilapidated.

Some of Mr. Obama’s innumerable relatives also see him as a meal ticket. They have made arrangements with a tour group to bring buses of visitors to have tea with Mama Sarah.

They are also trying to raise money from interviews with her. I had made arrangements to visit Mama Sarah weeks ago, and she had agreed to speak. But when I showed up, she said that her children had told her to keep quiet. Frantic phone calls. Fierce arguments. Hints that money might make an interview possible. I didn’t pay. I didn’t get the interview.

That’s O.K. Having seen the poverty in Kogelo, I’m less offended by the outstretched palms than awed by the distance that the Obama family spans.

Frankly, I worry that enemies of Senator Obama will seize upon details like his grandfather’s Islamic faith or his father’s polygamy to portray him as an alien or a threat to American values. But snobbishness and paranoia ill- become a nation of immigrants, where one of our truest values is to judge people by their own merits, not their pedigrees. If we call ourselves a land of opportunity, then Mr. Obama’s heritage doesn’t threaten American values but showcases them.

The stepgrandson of an illiterate, barefoot woman in this village of mud huts in Africa may be the next president of the United States. Such mobility — powered by education, immigration and hard work — is cause not for disparagement but for celebration.

There is an Indian in me...

I am, by most measures, somewhat of a confused person from an ethnicity perspective. I was born in India, lived for a couple of years in Minneapolis, then went back to India for 6-7 years, then my parents lived in Kenya while I attended boarding school in India, then I did my A-Levels in Nairobi, and have been living in the US since 1999. By all measures, this is a rather messed up up-bringing. I call Nairobi home. But, there is a huge part of me that is Indian.

Its there. Just below my skin. Waiting to come out (especially after a couple of beers). A late night hobby includes watching Bollywood songs on YouTube (right up there with downloading stuff off iTunes). Truth be told, there is an Indian side of me that is dangerously fobbish and would surprise many of my friends.

I will admit - I am a closet fan of several things Bollywood (there is something about my boarding school background that just does not allow me to come out and be open about it). I truly enjoy the songs from the old days - mostly because those songs emphasized lyrics over some crazy choreography (and, even my taste in English music stresses lyrics over a lot of other musical components). And there is a part of me that wants to have those sexy outfits that Shahrukh Khan and Hritik Roshan dance with (you know, the black ones from K3G with the sequins and the silky silver sash?). And to be fair, there are Hindi movies that I have truly appreciated and enjoyed for what they are - brilliant films.

But before we talk about my favorite Bollywood movies, let us talk about the kind of movies I like in general. On the whole, I like movies and books that are representative of the harshest realities faced by the most downtrodden of people. Time and again, I will take 'Schindler's List' and 'The Last Emporer' over 'High Fidelity' and 'Pretty Woman'. Without a doubt, I will take Camus' 'Stranger', any of Dickens' works and Mistry's 'A Fine Balance' [the best novel ever!] over some nonsense with a happy ending by Zadie Smith or Saramago. The grittier the novel, the better it is - because life is gritty and happy endings are rare.

So here they are... my favorite Hindi movies of all time and the reasons why I like them. Be forewarned though - this can be a rather depressing list.

Mera Naam Joker - It is a pity that Raj Kapoor did not receive an Oscar (either for one of the numerous films he acted in or directed or for his sheer body of work). Mera Naam Joker literally translates to "My Name is Joker" - it is a story of a man who is stuck working as a joker in a circus. Every attempt of his to find true love breaks down and he is left to his sorrow self. It is, ultimately a movie about how a good man's feelings are beaten to pulp again and again. And again. If you can watch this movie without bawling, there is something seriously wrong with you.

Qayamat se Qayamat Tak: I think I relate to this movie not because it is a superb movie from an artistic perspective but because it deals with a topic that is near and dear to my heart - life in Indian boarding schools. I spent 6 years in an awesome boarding school in India - and many of the things that go on in the movie (things that are, incidentally, unrelated to the main theme of the movie) are things I can relate to at a fairly deep level. And I like the movie because of that.

Salaam! Bombay: I love Mira Nair (well, partly because she made Kamasutra which was like my favorite high school sex filled movie of all time). But also because she chooses to explore topics that are most definitely taboo in mainstream Indian cinema. Mistry's 'A Fine Balance' and 'Salaam Bombay' have an awful lot in common - in both the stories, the protagonist is built up to a favorable position and then broken down. Again and again and again. And if that is not real life, I am not sure what is.

Bombay: India is a country that has come a long way since its rather primitive beginnings in 1947. It is a country that has progressed immensely in terms of political freedoms, economic powers. gender equalities and professional opportunities. And yet, in many ways, it remains immensely primitive in terms of religious tensions. 'Bombay' was the first movie - and by many measures the only substantial movie to date - to examine the tense relationships between Hindus and Muslims. And it came during one of the saddest, darkest episodes in Indian history.

Lagaan: Well made movie. Filled with colonial oppression overtones but I guess that is what the subject matter was about. I like 'Lagaan' because it was the first time I saw a Hindi movie and said 'Wow! That was a well made movie!'. And it was - for the first time, the random song and dance routines did not distract the audience from the top quality acting, screenplay and production that goes into making a good movie.

Water: Extremely disturbing on many levels (widows being banished to a kind of widow old age home, prostitution of young widows... the list is endless). But, an awesome movie because the screenplay is excellent and the subjects it deals with are very real. And it moves at a crisp pace... trust me, you won't sleep the night you see this movie.

Monsoon Wedding: The acting was mediocre and the plot bordered on plain vanilla Hindi-movie plots. So why did I like this movie? The soundtrack. Right up there with Trainspotting as a movie and a soundtrack that come together perfectly. Not a single song is out of place.

So there you have it - my favorite Bollywood movies of all time. So what about Tollywood, etc... I can't say I can talk about it given that I have seen perhaps all of ten Tamil movies to date.

Friday, February 22, 2008

And here is the Hook Em' sign....

Thursday, February 21, 2008

One more reason Obama rocks!!

Anyone who knows me or has been to this blog before will know two things - I am a fan of all things Longhorn football and also of Barack Obama.

And then Obama decided to visit with Mack Brown and the rest of the Texas Longhorns team earlier today. Apparently Mack Brown extended invitations to both Obama and Clinton but only Obama accepted. If you ever wanted a vote in Austin, this is the way to do it.





Full story from MBTF can be found here

And here is to hoping he flashes a nice big 'Hook 'Em' sign!!

My candidates are teh suck...

So maybe the line for the title of this post was borrowed from a friend of who had it as his G-Chat status message for a while [now, we would not want to get into a Obama-Patrick-esque word sharing controversy would we?]. But let that not detract you from what this posting is about.

Some time ago, a friend of mine accused me of being a Republican - an allegation I categorically debunked on this blog some time ago. I then ventured to take an online quiz which predicts your most likely candidate. The quiz posts a series questions about pertinent issues (healthcare, immigration, economic policy, etc.) and then lists the three candidates whose stances most closely resemble your views (results in picture below).

My candidates? A guy who will try to make you believe his dad was a Welsh miner, a phenomenally qualified Hispanic dude [whose candidacy I was a big fan of] and a Prius-driving liberal. Free pint if you can guess which moniker goes with which candidate.





Unfortunately, they are ALL out of the race (though I still think the Hispanic dude would make a great VP choice).

Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Empire Strikes Back?

All you can see on the news today is Obama-this and Hillary-that. The two are both extremely qualified candidates and both would make great Presidents. And there-in lies the rub - given that they are both such appealing candidates, the votes seem to be (so far) evenly divided that it is unlikely either one of them will have a clear mandate for a while. And while they continue to campaign and bicker for votes, the Repulican empire is slowly galvanizing and preparing for the Presidency.

This is one thing that I truly, truly admire about the Republicans - they tendency to circle the wagons and back a nominee from the party regardless of all the mud-slinging during the campaign. Witness Rudy & Romney's endorsements of McCain (both within days of their own withdrawals from the campaign). Contrast that against the democratic scenario - Edwards, Richardson, Biden, et al have come nowhere near endorsing a particular candidate. I realize the race on the Democratic side is much tighter than on the Republican side, but all this bickering can only hurt the party during the elections.

And the Republican's have moved further in the planning process. This weekend the Republican party's head honchos had a strategy session in LA which focused on how to take down the Democratic nominee during the general elections. And I have no doubt that the Republican machine will be in full swing against the Democratic candidate regardless of whether it is Obama or Hillary who is nominated. And all this time the Democrats will be busy arguing over all sorts of things (some important, some not important).

And this is what I find most frustrating about the Democratic party. For the first time in the history of this so called bastion of democracy, we have two exceptionally qualified candidates who will create Presidential history in their own ways. And I have every belief that the Democratic party will do its best to mess up with their chance to create history.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Proud member of the Rainbow coalition...

And we stood there watching... waiting... for the sun to peek over the horizon. For the sun to spread its rays and open doors to a brave new frontier. The Reverend Jesse Jackson and myself - hand in hand, marching onward, confronting a common destiny.

Actually, it was nothing that dramatic.

Jesse Jackson was on my flight from Chicago to Washington DC this morning (the "brave new frontier" referenced above). We stood in line together waiting for boarding to begin and the only "marching" we did involved trudging down the jetway to board a 6:00 AM flight. I sat in the seat behind him in First Class.

The Reverend joins Kate Moss and Noel Gallagher as the only other celebrities who have had the privilege of sitting next to me. Can you see I live for the small pleasures in life?


Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Am I a Republican?

Earlier this week, I was accused by a friend of mine - a mentally spastic but well intentioned one at that - of being Republican.

Let me just clarify this point - I am, at my heart, an economist and a consultant who prefers an analytical, incentive driven process rather than arbitrary measures and targets.

I refuse to believe that I have to choose between the rabid breed of capitalism championed by Daniel Plainview and damned Bolshevism. Instead I believe that markets are inherently efficient and that they perform well a vast majority of the times. But, at the same time, I am also cognizant of the fact that the market does fail miserably in certain instances such as healthcare and education. And in these cases the government must intervene and provide a good for the benefit of society as a whole. Championing small government by cutting spending on healthcare and education (as many Republicans champion) is a rather retarded proposition.

I will however say that I am against arbitrary measures championed by naive politicians. Quotas for education is something I am against. But I will whole heartedly agree to paying $500 more in taxes if it means some kid from an impoverished neighborhood will get a voucher to go to school outside his district. I will whole heartedly support any measure that takes school from wealthier school districts and redistributes it to poorer school districts. Both these measures provide people with the right resources and allow them to make rational choices that suit them best. I cannot say I am too fond of arbitrary quotas.

Now lets talk about the social aspects of being a Democrat vs. a Republican. I whole heartedly support gay marriage and equal rights for partners regardless of their gender. I do not think you will burn in hell if you engaged in pre-marital sex or sodomy. I think women should have the right to choose to have an abortion but at the same time also believe that it is something that should be regulated and approached with a modicum of respect. But, at the end of the day, it is not a deal-breaker for me - perhaps because I have not had a direct experience with and perhaps one day I will change my mind. But for now, abortion is not a deal breaker for me.

See that is the problem with the American political system - I have to choose the Republican camp and have people assume that I am a rabid capitalist or choose a Democrat and have a whole other bunch of people worry that I am a crazy Bolshevik. These arbitrary definitions leave out a whole plethora of possibilities in between. And I think that is the saddest story in American politics next to the Bush administration.

I have always claimed to be a democrat. I have never claimed to be a flaming left wing liberal. I am what I have always claimed to be - a left of center Democrat.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Yes We Can

The "Yes We Can" video produced by will.i.am.

Tomorrow should be fun. Billary vs. Obama - after the outcome of the Superbowl, maybe... just maybe Obama wins.

Friday, February 01, 2008

My cabinet...

Now, let's caveat this by saying that this posting assumes a couple of big things - one, that Barrack Obama becomes President and two, that people actually listen to what I say about American politics. So here they are (in no particular order)

Treasury Secretary: Rob Rubin or Larry Summers - quite simply two of the most impressive economists around. Alleged misogyny at Harvard and losses at Citi notwithstanding [in their defences, Summers is a verbal klutz and Rubin had more of a consulting role at Citi and did not weild real power], these two guys really understand what makes an economy tick. Moreover, they have solid academic credentials and are respected by both academics and Wall Street gurus - either one would be a good choice. Then again, if you wanted to break away from the old Clinton regime, Bill Nordhaus may not be a bad choice at all.

Chairman of the Federal Reserve: I must say the jury is still out a little bit on this one for me. I applauded Bernanke's move several months ago to offer discounted lines of credit to financial institutions when the home loan crisis first struck, but I must say I am a little disappointed by his actions over the last couple of weeks which bordered on focusing on the DJIA average rather than on monetary policy cornerstones like inflation. Jamie Galbraith may not be a bad option.

Secretary of Transportation: Jim Bethune - he brought one airline out of the brink of bankruptcy, saw another one successfully through bankruptcy court and truly understand the challenges faced by this country's travel infrastructure (and let's face it - air travel is a big part of the problem). Bethune would be a solid 'industry' appointment without the usual industry baggage.

Secretary of Health: Hillary Clinton - she is passionate about it and she gets it. Sure she may still be a senator but I am sure some sort of arrangement can be worked out. In spite of everything bad I have ever said about Hillary, I must admit that on healthcare she comes across as genuinely caring and passionate.

Secretary of State: Given the complex dynamics of the world over the last ten years and what is likely to be a world with increased complexity over the next several years, I would like to propose someone with a nuanced understanding of global socio-economic forces. Someone who gets the world as it is today and understands that the world of tomorrow. A somewhat unconventional choice, but can you really argue against Fareed Zakaria?

Attorney General: Now we all know that the "Attorney General serves at the pleasure of the President" but how about giving Patrick Fitzgerald his due? He has done a great job as a Federal prosecutor out of Chicago [and lets not forget the Valerie Plame affair].

Defense Secretary: If he is willing and up to it, this job should be Petreaus' for the taking. Yes, there is this unspoken rule about a separation between military and civilian chains of command but truth be told, he has done a SPECTACULAR job in a PATHETIC situation. Several commanders failed before him in Iraq and it is through sheer hard work and determination that he has accomplished what he has accomplished in Iraq. Here is to hoping he can trade in the uniform for a suit.

Labor Secretary: This is a great position for the 'son of a millworker'. Jobs, unemployment and poverty are causes that John Edwards is passionate about - and what better way for him to tackle these problems than by being the Labor Secretary? Yes, I do worry that he will become over protectionist and start imposing barriers willy-nilly, but I would like to see what he can achieve with a full portfolio of his own.

I think that is about all for now. I would love to have Gore head the EPA but you know and I know that is not going to happen for a variety of reasons. Biden would make a great National Secuity Advisor (or even Secretary of State) but I am not sure he would give up being a senator. Richardson would make a great Energy Secretary, but then again, he has already done that before. Then again, I think Richardson would make a great, great Vice-Presidential candidate. He has a broad range of experiences (former Energy Secretary, former Ambassador to the UN, Governor of a Southern state) which will definitely help in the actual Presidential race. Either Hillary or Barrack would be foolish not to pick him up.

All things considered - and knowing how politics usually plays out - I would be surprised if any of these predictions actually come true.

Litmus test or no litmus test?

I am rather surprised that a particular issue has not yet raised its ugly head in the campaign politics of this year - the issue of of having a litmus test (for any supreme court nominee) on Roe v. Wade (or any other landmark case).

Truth of the matter is that we MUST NOT have a litmus test for such issues. We may well believe that an issue has been rightly decided one way or another [e.g. Roe v. Wade] but that is just one such issues at one such point in time. There may well come a time several years from now when Roe. V. Wade may be overturned or altered in some other way. This is not necessarily a bad thing - the world exists as we know it today because Supreme Court rulings were overturned - not because of the ideological differences of a few but because of the prevalent mood of the society of that time.

If we did not reserve the right to overturn prior Supreme court rulings, we would still travel in segregated compartments [because Plessey v. Fergusson would not have been overturned], go to different schools [there would be no Brown v. Board of Education] and my African American friends would still count as 1/3 of my friends. What is important is that any changes in existing rulings occur because of a widespread shift in the views on a particular topic than because certain ideological groups disagree with a particular ruling. Indeed, this sentiment was summarized by Sandra Day O'Connor in her ruling on Casey vs. Planned Parenthood of Connecticut [a Planned Parenthood I had the pleasure of living down the street from last week].

Speaking of politics and all, anyone who saw the debate today must agree that it was one step away from everyone singing Kumbaya. The viciousness and animosity of the previous debate was gone - instead, it was replaced by Barrack saying that Hillary was the bestest person ever and Hillary saying "Aaaww.... no... Barrack is the bestest person ... like... EVER!!!". As a bystander, I think Barrack did a better job of subtly getting his pot-shots in, but that Hillary came off sounding as the better prepared and the more "can-do" candidate in this debate. Barrack really needed to put this debate away by several touchdowns and he barely managed a field goal or two. At the end of the day, I think his subtlety ended up hurting him. But good debate nonetheless - we got to see them articulate substantial policy differences for the first time.

Totally different topic, but Green Eggs & Ham are possible!!! All you have to do is boil a whole, chopped red cabbage in water. Take the remaining water and add it to a couple of whisked eggs. Fry eggs as usual. And voila! Green Eggs and Ham - turns out that the red cabbage boiled water acts as a pH indicator - and turns green (slightly acidic). Who would have thunk it!!

I should also confess at this point that I have developed a bad habit of downloading songs from iTunes - especially when I have had a few drinks. Suffice to say that I am now a "proud" owner of several Ricky Martin and Shaggy songs - you know I wouldn't have done that while sober.

All such meaningless things aside. I had the pleasure of interviewing the the Boston University and Yale University MBA programs last week. I actually had the opportunity to visit the Yale campus - and as my prior blog posts would indicate, it was a lot of fun. Lets just say I am crossing my fingers and hope that I get in somewhere - and if I hear back in the next week or so, life will be truly spectacular.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Snowing sideways...

It was about 50 degrees when I walked down to my neighborhood coffee shop around noon today. Right now, its snowing sideways, the temperature is in the low single digits (negative if you factor in wind chill) and the wind is absolutely, positively howling. Man that is some crazy weather change.

So I had a couple of graduate school interviews last week - I had one with Boston University and one with Yale University. Indeed, I even visited the Yale campus - quaint little campus. Looks like someone bought a bunch of expensive houses and said "Here... This will be the economics department!". Quite different from Texas and lets just say the dining options were yummy [not to mention heavy on the wallet]. But such is Yale and such one must do when hanging with the Joneses. Speaking of hanging with the Joneses - I also managed to sneak in a mini economics re-union of sorts. Kyle, Eric, Nancy, Nancy's Kiwi friend and I all imbibed copious amounts of cheap alcohol at this place called Gipsys - I can totally see myself getting used to this campus.

Now all I can do is wait - wait for [hopefully] more interviews and the slow trickle of disappointment to begin.

If you haven't seen it already, may I recommend the HBO show "Baghdad Hospital: Inside the Red Zone" - quite a realistic [and harrowing] account of life and death inside Baghdad's red zone. Most of the show involves ordinary Iraqis venting all their anger and frustrations - makes for interesting television and is definitely the kind of coverage that is too PC for the likes of CNN, ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC to cover.

The state of media in this country does make me wonder - how well is a free press doing its job when the punchiest news shows on television are on HBO and Comedy Central?

Believe it or not, R-Fed lost a game in a Grand Slam tournament not named "The French Open Live From Roland Garros". I missed the game but apparently it was a thriller. And the women's final had to be the hottest one around in a while - if you catch my drift. There is a large part of me that wants to go out and plunk some money on R-Fed actually winning the French Open this year. Now that would be ironic. Don't you think?

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Washington HilBill-ies

Let me profess by saying that I am a great admirer of Bill Clinton's time in office. He was articulate, surrounded himself with brilliant people, ran the country well and even tapped that (you know what I am talking about). But I think he has crossed a line this time.

Its one thing to support your wife or husband when she/he is running for President - its quite another to behave like a candidate and vehemently go after your wives opponents. Especially when you are a former President of the United States (lets face it - there is a different standard of conduct for those who have been through public office - especially those who were POTUS).

Obama has suffered a lot - not at the hands of Hillary but through the attacks of Bill. If I were Obama, I would go on the offensive.

On the next debate's opening statement, publicly announce that you are backing away from any kind of negative campaigning done by spouses. Michelle was not going vitriolic on Hillary so not a whole lot to lose anyway. And Bill will be forced to stop making public comments - or at the very least look like a pompous ass when he does. Plus Obama comes away smelling like roses. The other thing I would do is make all my records public - let the people go through them. Its not like Obama has a whole lot to offer given his short tenure in public service. And let's see how Hillary fields questions about opening up those records from Bill's time in the White House she sealed up for posterity.

And if you haven't seen the catfights from last nights debates... man are you missing something.

We end today's post with a quote from the New York times message boards:

Won’t catch me voting for Monica Lewinsky’s ex-boyfriend’s wife.
— Posted by Rob

Monday, January 21, 2008

Milestone post...

Never would I have thought... as I embarked on this journey 4 years ago that I would be standing in front of you today [in a webby kind of way, so to speak] posting for the 100th time on this blog... this unbridled fountain of wisdom and optimism.

I would like thank my parents, my agent, my producer... oh who am I kidding... enjoy the 100th post on this blog.

And just so that I can tell you "I told you so!!!" ten years from now, I proudly present to you Britney Spears marvelous understudy - the magnificent Miley Cyrus (a.k.a Hannah Montana). Lets see how she will be doing ten years from now....



Enjoy the 100th posting on this blog....

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Best quote I have heard in a while...

This has nothing in common with the Tom Cruise rants (yes, they are rants... they are not quotes... a quote requires that the person speaking the words have some modicum of brain matter left upstairs... Tom-"you can't handle the truth"-Cruise obviously does not).

Quote is from message board about what Apple is and is not doing correctly....

Posted by commentor | 01/19/08 10:39 PM EST
"I swear some people won't be please until Jobs pulls rotating rabbits out of his rectum..."
I think that is coming, it's called the MacBook Hare.

I have this phenomenal mental image that is best not described given the PG-13 nature of this blog.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Lots to tell, gots to yell....

So there is a lot to talk about today. Work stuff. College football stuff (lest you forget I am a college football fan). Back home stuff. And just all sorts of other stuff.

First things first - today was awesome in terms of speaking with different countries and getting a feel for what they are looking for and how I can offer those to them. I had several promising conversations with several companies (in the US and outside) and I figure one of them has to work out somewhere. Well, just the sheer odds of the things have to result in things working out for me. And some of these opportunities, I am genuinely excited about. So lets keep our fingers crossed and lets hope that I have plenty more to write about on this topic.

Lest you forget, I am a huge Texas Football fan and Major Applewhite is back home (in Texas, where else... duh!!). Officially, he is the Running Backs Coach and the Assistant Head Coach. Realistically, I think he will slowly have greater and greater impact on game planning and prepping for opponents. I don't think he will be involved in play calling - at least not just yet. Play calling is way to public an aspect of coaching and we all know that Mack Brown LOVES Greg Davis. I reckon that if Major sticks around for a little while (and one must hope that he does given the three jobs in three years), he will be named Co-Offensive Coordinator in a couple of years. The full blown position, and a sweet head coaching gig somewhere should follow 4-5 years down the line (in all likelihood, he will take a HC job at a place like Texas Tech, Wisconsin or NC State before getting the Texas job... its just way too high profile a job to hire a - albeit extremely talented - rookie).

But lets digress for a moment and talk about Greg Davis. The guy must have done something right. Major has kept in constant contact with him over the last several years and even Vince credits him his development. I cannot forgive the Chris Simms fiasco (there is no other word for it) or the fact that our play calling is phenomenally ordinary [the fact that I, watching on TV several hundred miles away] can predict whether it is a run play or a pass play (or a fake punt) says oodles about our play calling. A part of me believes that we get away with running such obvious plays purely on the merit of the talent that exists on the Texas roster. But, at the end of the day I am willing to concede that Greg Davis is competent enough to do a phenomenal job with player development provided that the players have some sort of football savvy.... Major, Vince, Colt and the host of linemen from Texas over the last several years are testament to that.

Moving on from College Football now - I will be in New Haven next week to take care of some business and to hang out with dear friends of mine - Kyle and Bunga (who has incidentally returned from a Benny Lava of a trip to Russia).

I want to write about something that is both deeply personal and extremely important to me - the situation in Kenya. Many of you may know that I grew up in Kenya. Some of you may know that my parents still live in that country. The situation there over the past month or so has been positively tense.

To give a little background - Kenya had elections towards the end of December. The incumbent party "won" the election but there were plenty of voting irregularities. Truth be told, there are also several accounts of the opposition also rigging the vote. Ultimately, what we have is an election where both sides have tampered with the vote and the ruling party has won by a sliver (something like less that 2% of the legitimate vote - with over 70% turnout). Many parts of Kenya - and Nairobi to a lesser extent - have been besieged by rioting, senseless violence and wanton destruction of life and property.

Lets call it what it is - a pogrom. Kikuyu cronies against other tribal cronies. Other tribal cronies against Kikuyu cronies. And a whole bunch of hard working, innocent people caught in the middle. In the words of Rodney King - "Can we all just get along?". Lets end this petty mongering [Kibaki and Odinga should talk and figure some sort of an agreement] and go back to life as normal (and lets admit, life in Kenya was normal and good for a long, long time). Kibaki deserves a good portion of the blame for swearing himself in using such dubious means. Odinga also deserves a good portion of the blame for being so hard headed and refusing to negotiate - yes you have been cheated but are you so full of yourself that you cannot take the moral high road and gain the respect of the global community? Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu [who along with Kofi Annan and John Kufour have offered to mediate] did it after the end of Apartheid in South Africa and the world is a better place today because they did so. Kibaki and Odinga have a long, long way to go before they can even begin to be mentioned in the same breath - they have no excuses for not mediating.

Kenya is better than this, and Kenyans are better than this. In the words of a song almost every Kenyan knows... Kenya nchi yetu hakuna matata...

As an ode to the desire of ordinary Kenyans for a return to normalcy, pasted below is an Op-Ed piece by Wangari Maathai that appeared in today's Wall Street Journal.

==========================================================

Don't Ignore the Violence in Kenya

By WANGARI MAATHAI
January 17, 2008; Page A17
Ms. Maathai, the 2004 Nobel Peace Laureate, was a member of Kenya's Parliament from 2002 to 2007.
(The Wall Street Journal, January 17th 2007)

It's been nearly two weeks since the Electoral Commission of Kenya declared President Mwai Kibaki the winner in his bid for a second term. The loser in this closely fought and much disputed election is Raila Odinga, the candidate of the Orange Democratic Movement (ODM). The declaration threw Kenya into the current crisis -- street protests, wide-spread civil unrest and the threat of violent crackdowns -- which refuses to end.

The commission may have legitimate reasons for ushering out both the local and international press before making its announcement exclusively on the state-owned Kenya Broadcasting Corporation. There also may be legitimate reasons why the subsequent and much hurried swearing-in ceremony for Mr. Kibaki has already taken place.

[Mwai Kibaki]

But given the messy performance of the electoral commission, many people are wondering whether there was something to hide. Some of its members have admitted to being under tremendous pressure to announce the results even as some found credible reports of irregularities. This has cast doubt over the credibility of the democratic process.

To people conversant with the political games of intrigue and trickery, however, what's happening in Kenya is just another instance of the challenges to real democracy that bedevil this region. In the eyes of some politicians, the misfortune is that the irregularities have come to light. Under "normal circumstances," leaders in Africa don't lose elections they organize.

I have heard it said by some political veterans that if you're not willing to play these games, you have no business being in politics, since you're bound to lose. It is on the altar of this kind of cynicism that values like transparency, honesty and accountability are often sacrificed. Within this worldview, bribing voters, election officials and government officers, as well as theft and manipulation of votes, are considered "political wisdom."

After the very high voter turnout in the Dec. 27 elections among Kenyans rightfully choosing their next government, it's tragic that Kenya -- a country I thought could provide a model of peaceful transfer of power in Africa -- has been plunged into the sort of senseless bloodletting that the outside world all too often associates with my continent. Despite the insistence by some of the protagonists that outside intervention is not required, more public and international pressure is essential if Mr. Kibaki and Mr. Odinga are to seek a lasting solution. Despite the suffering of the Kenyan people, and others in the region that depend on Kenya's functioning infrastructure and economy, moves toward dialogue have been disturbingly slow.

Colonial administrators and the leaders who followed them have used ethnicity as a major strategy to divide their people. In countless conflicts in Africa, the uncompromising positions of such leaders -- refusing to consider mediation or to make any concessions -- have led to unimaginable suffering.

Under this mindset, fellow tribesmen support their respective leaders no matter what -- even when they are the first victims of the leaders' actions, or inaction. Eventually, even these leaders lose control and anarchy takes over, with rival gangs stealing, raping, maiming and punishing civilians.

Mr. Kibaki has now sworn in half of this new government's cabinet, even after being urged not to do so before holding talks with Mr. Odinga on resolving the crisis. Mr. Kibaki's move may lead to another round of ethnically based violence -- which already has taken the lives of hundreds of Kenyans. Both Mr. Kibaki and Mr. Odinga have appealed publicly to those causing the mayhem to stop, but few seem to be heeding the call.

Unfortunately, much of the advice Mr. Kibaki is getting from ministers, and Mr. Odinga from advisers, seems to urge that each maintain his hard-line position. Many of these advisers and ministers are thinking ahead to the privileged positions that they assume they will receive with their candidate in power. This is making it very difficult for men and women of goodwill in Kenya to broker a lasting peace.

For the sake of the people of Kenya, the East African region and indeed Africa in general, I appeal to the international community, including the African Union, the Commonwealth, the European Commission, the United Nations and other friends of Kenya like the United States and Japan, to put strong pressure on Messrs. Kibaki and Odinga -- before this crisis escalates into an even greater tragedy.

The leaders must put the welfare of Kenyans before their own ambitions, and enter immediately into a serious and sustained dialogue for a political and legal settlement.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

MAJOR-ly Excited....

Super excited that the prodigal son is returning to Texas football. I'm already hoping Greg Davis leaves at the end of the next season or two paving the way for Major Applewhite to become the full fledged offensive coordinator. And after 5-6 seasons as OC at Texas, he will be well positioned to take on the head coaching job when Mack Brown's contract expires in 2016.

Well, maybe I got a little carried away. He's here. For one season at least. And there is no one named Simms anywhere close by. This should be a fun season.

Hook 'Em Horns!!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Thoughts from the Sin City Debate...

So today's Democratic Presidential Candidates debate is the first one that I have seen in its entirety this election season.

With that said, it was also refreshing to see more time devoted to a small number of serious candidates as opposed to the 10 man circus initial debates are. Some may argue that it is somehow antithetical to democracy to give this much air time to such few choices - however, one must also consider that a number of candidates (Kucinich, Biden, Richardson, Dodds, etc.) all had their shot at the limelight and failed to get any traction with voters or other members of the public. Ergo, the cream of the field has boiled to the surface and we get to examine them in greater detail.

I still come away from each of these feeling that I can tell exactly where Barrack and Edwards stand on any number of issues, but that Hillary is still nothing more than a policy wonk. Case in point: each of the candidates was asked about their stance on the personal bankruptcy bills that came before Congress in 2001 and 2005. Edwards said that he voted for the bill in 2001 and that it was a mistake he should have never made. Barrack said that he was opposed to both of them because it was not right for the American people (or some such nice sounding phrase). Hillary said that she voted for it, but her vote did not matter because the bill failed in any case.

Thats just dumb - you voted for something. If you feel it was the right decision, say so. If you think it was a wrong decision, then say so. You are entitled to your opinion and people will respect you when you can actually articulate one consistently. Don't vote one way and then say you feel some other way.

I have serious reservations about John Edwards' candidacy. I do not agree with him on trade policies and I do not agree with him on environmental policy. I have a deep, deep suspicion that the Democratic party in general is going to take a rather protectionist approach to free trade once they come in to power. Those suspicions are convictions when it comes to Edwards. There is a reason textile and steel mills in the US are becoming derelict and production is shifting to places all over Asia - they are labor intensive industries and the comparative advantage of Asian countries lies in their lower labor costs. The US has slowly but surely moved away from manufacturing and more and more towards services - when was the last time you heard the Thai government argue about the "Thai" massages that one can get in just about every spa on just about every street corner. I think Edwards either fails to grasp this or panders to his base by refusing to let on that he grasps this - any policy made under this mindset cannot possibly be in the interests of free trade (which contrary to some beliefs, does actually benefit those in developing countries).

Congratulate Hillary Clinton for giving us one of the brightest and one of the most boneheaded ideas to come out of today's debates. Brightest idea first: a 90 day moratorium on foreclosures. This is actually a brilliant idea - I think that a good part of what is happening in the financial industry right now is just pure inertia. No one has stopped long enough to figure out all the ramifications and the group think of "Sell! Sell! Sell!" is prevailing. A 90 day moratorium will give everyone a chance to step back, take a deep breath, evaluate the options, and then make intelligent decisions. Stock exchanges have such circuit breakers built in (actually have had them for a while) and it makes sense in this case.

The most boneheaded idea (also courtesy of Hillary Clinton) was a 5 year freeze on interest rates. While she is implementing that solution, could she please also look into freezing my rent, my grocery bills, my cable bill, my cell phone charges, my [rather hefty] alcohol bill, and capping airfare increases for my considerable air travel. This is such a retarded idea that I am not even going to argue against it. And oh yeah, while we are freezing interest rates, why not just give the Fed a five year sabbatical.

So what does all this mean? I would vote for Barrack [if only because he actually takes a position on issues that matter]. But I can see many voting for Hillary because of her solid credentials as a politician [plus, the fact that she is a Clinton] and for Edwards [he does have that populist thing going for him]. Its going to be a close race and I just hope that a moderate Republican like McCain does not end up winning the nomination.

On the whole, a good debate. The moderators (Brian Williams & Tim Russert) asked good questions and kept the candidates honest. We need more of these intimate setting debates. 289 days to go before we select Gee-Dub's replacement - enjoy yourselves folks.

AfrikanDreams

Before you say anything else, AfrikanDreams does not contain a typo. It is spelt with a 'k'.

It is an organization that I began with a couple of friends from high school (truth be told, Sonal and Dhobal probably do more work on this, but I am hoping to get caught up in the next couple of weeks).

AfrikanDreams is a forum for those who care about Africa to connect and exchange information about how to tackle some of the most pressing issues faced by the continent - Education, Healthcare, the Environment, Water, Microfinance initiatives and Women's Rights. It is dedicated to channeling resources - financial, human or otherwise - more efficiently to the most deserving organizations in Africa.

AfrikanDreams
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So don't stand by on the sidelines - you too can play an active role in getting involved with making a difference in Africa. Go on, visit AfrikanDreams today.

Benny Lava...

Lets try embedding a video from YouTube on to this blog (first time ever... drum roll please...)

Monday, January 14, 2008

My travel wishlist...

Now that I got that whole blogging in Hindi thing off my chest... lets revert to something more important. Here is all that I want to do before I die...

  • Run with the bulls in Pampalona (probably not happening)
  • Visit mexico
  • Visit the South Island in New Zealand
  • While in New Zealand, check out where the Lord of the Rings was actually shot
  • Ride the bullet train in Japan
  • Go snorkeling/diving in the great barrier reef
  • Visit Selous national park in Tanzania
  • Go crazy at a beach party in Bali
  • Feel like a male tomb raider in the temples of Cambodia
  • Spend a month exploring Thailand
  • Hike the Leh/Ladakh
  • Chill for a week and feel like European aristocracy on Lake Como
  • Visit Romani, Estonia, Latvia and Bulgaria before they become too touristy
  • Hang out for a week in Buenos Aires
  • Go hiking in Scotland (again!)
  • Visit the castles and forts of Rajasthan
  • Hike in the Peruvian Andes
  • Catch a sunrise at the ghats in Varnasi
  • Catch a sunset in Santorini
  • Visit Dublin for St. Patricks day
  • Visit Monument Valley in Utah
  • See the Grand Canyon
  • Visit Hawaii, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota ... and brace yourself for it... Vegas!
  • Go to some place in the Carribean (never been so I will settle for Jamaica, St. Barts, Aruba, Bermuda, the Bahamas.... you get the picture)
  • Catch an El Classico (either at Madrid or Barcelona... I wouldn't really complain about either)
  • Go to Timbuktu (why? because it actually exists!!)
Thats about all for now... chances are I will add to this list...

जय राम जी की.....

ब्लोग्गिंग इन हिन्दी इस सो ब्लडी कूल!!! त्र्यिंग तो थिंक ऑफ़ वायस इन व्हिच गूगल कोउल्ड पोस्सिब्ली रॉक मोरे.....

Ah the pregnancy bug...

This is getting rather weird... every damn celebrity I know (and gawk at is at it making babies). First there was Brangelina (who could not stop adopting long enough to get caught up on the paperwork). Then there was Britney (well, that train has come off the track more often than planes crash in Nigeria - pardon the sordid pun). Then there was TomKatSuri (complete with couch jumping villain - er... father). Then there was Christina (I guess someone let the genie out of the bottle - and yes, she did have to catch up with long time rival Britney). But now Jessica Alba... all my dreams vanquished forever... et tu Jessica?

But at the end of the day it is their body and it is their right to choose. So, lets talk about that wonderful legal principle - the right to choose.

So let me give you this hypothetical situation. Lets pretend that I am a poor man living in a poor part of town with a family of four to support. Now lets also pretend that I barely make ends meet by working long hours at a minimum wage job. My wife works too - but again, long hours in a minimum wage job. My two kids are stars at school - they enjoy learning, get great grades and are involved in all sorts of activities. They both want to go to college - one wants to become a mathematician while the other wants to become a doctor.

And therein lies the rub - how am I to afford sending them to college?

Now lets say a solution presents itself. Turns out this rich guy desperately needs a kidney. As providence would have it, I am a perfect match. He offers me a million dollars and to put my children through college if I give up a kidney. This kind of money is enough for my wife and I to put some away for retirement and for our children to do their thing in college. This is what economists call a Pareto Optimal Situation: every one is better off (either directly from the trade or by some other means of compensation between the trading parties) and no one is worse off.

Unfortunately, this is also terribly illegal. US law currently prevents the trade in body organs (and that is a law that I agree with for the most part). But there is some sort of a double standard here.

If a woman has the right to choose what to do with her body, I should bloody well have the right to do what I want with mine. My kidney is mine and mine alone (no one can argue that it takes two people to create a fetus). There is a boatload of science to prove that I can live just fine with just one kidney (yes, there will be some medication and a few lifestyle changes, but that is a small price to pay for my children to get a good education). The other man will now be able to live and he and his family will surely be happy about that. So why should I not be allowed to sell my kidney.

I understand the potential for abuse but that is what regulation is for. Guns do way more damage but we can still buy them (and they are not legislated as much as they probably should be). Alcohol is a contributing factor to a large number of accidents on our roads every year but we try to control that nuisance through regulation. And hundreds of prescription drugs are carefully regulated through a robust system involving doctors, pharmacists and prescriptions.

This whole things makes me want to put my Kidney up for sale on eBay (I really have to pay for college) just so that they can take it down and I can duke it out in court - I have quite a few lawyer friends whose egos would get a tremendous boost from arguing at the Supreme Court.

Take care of your kidneys, will you!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

School List...

Some of you may know, some of you may not but grad school applications are all in (well, almost all in - one remains to be done). What does the final list look like?

NYU - Stern School of Business: MBA
Yale School of Management - MBA
London School of Economics - Masters in Management
Princeton - MA in International Relations
London Business School - MBA
Boston University - MBA/MA
American University - MBA

GMAT scores also rocked so lets just say I have nothing to do now but sit back, relax and stress out about where I will end up going and how I will pay for it.

I wish I were an American....

Not because it is the [albeit self-proclaimed] land of the free, home of the brave. Not because an American passport will get me into [and quite possibly out of] just about any country that I want to go to. Not because it is the land of Jerry Seinfeld [genius!] and Jerry Springer [genius in his own way]. Not because it is the home of College Football. Not because porn is legal.

But because watching all this election hoopla makes me want to vote. Its so annoying to be a 26 year old adult and to never have voted.

Personally, I think its the democrats election to lose [which is my way of saying that in spite of being handed this election on a silver platter, they will somehow find a way to screw it up and make it really close and, perhaps, even lose it]. Bush has so thoroughly screwed up the country [take your pick of metrics] that every Republican challenger is starting out of a 100 foot hole.

I can't stand Hillary Clinton. She is smart, I am sure she is more than capable and has accomplished a lot through her own grit and acumen. And I have no doubt that, if elected, she would surround herself with several capable people and do an excellent job of running the country. But she is just a wonk. I am yet to see her take a meaningful position on anything. Come up with a policy that is straightforward [not a 25 point "high level summary for further exploration"], come out and say you are for this or against that. Stop equivocating and coming off as too much of a politician.

Hence, I prefer Obama. He has never claimed to have a plethora of experience - instead he claims to have a set of competencies, takes clear stands on issues [Its easy to pin point exactly where he stands on any number of lightning rod issues], and is willing to work diligently to get things done. You cannot ask for more in a candidate. Not to mention that he is the quintessential American success story to boot.

I think Bill Richardson would make a tremendous Vice-President. The guy has tremendous foreign policy experience, has been the governor of a Southwestern state for several years now and has a folksy charm that would be a welcome change from Darth Vader-esque Cheney. Plus, given America's position in the world today vis a vis a host of issues like global warming, Iraq, Iran, free trade, etc., Bill Richardson would be the perfect person to sort out the veritable mess the Bush administration has put this country in.

The one thing that worries me, however, is a McCain nomination from the Republican side. I can still see myself voting for the McCain of 6-7 years ago before he went all kooky and was obviously brown nosing the evangelical right. That McCain reminds me a lot of Barrack Obama - straight talking, moderate views, and you always knew where he stood on each issue. I worry that McCain may discover the old himself - a prospect that would appeal to several independents [and to be honest, if you could convince me that he will not get all kooky again, I would seriously entertain the thought of voting for him]. I am less worried about Mitt Romney [or maybe I am... no wait, I was and then I was not and now I am again...] or Rudy Giuliani [Would you like 9/11 fries with the 9/11 shake?].

Lets pray that Huckabee continues on his semi-roll - I have a modicum of faith in the majority of the American public to choose someone not so bible thumping.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

We are what we are...

We are what we are.... An adult is unlikely to change; sure, he or she may go live in a different city, acquire different tastes and get that wonderful house in the suburbs - but at the end of the day very little changes. Its a rut, they are stuck in it and they have a snowball's chance in hell of getting out of it. Think American Beauty - and that is exactly what adult life is about.

We do not choose our friends - we only choose how close we want to be with someone or how good of a friend they are. Friends do not come and go - friends always remain; the ones we stay in touch with are the ones that become better friends. We become closer, take things for granted and become parts of each others' lives.

We do not make our own enemies - they make themselves because of what they do (or perhaps, because of what they don't do). It doesn't take much to make enemies - people are inherently born evil (just think Daniel Plainview in "There Will be Blood"). Small things will tick them off.

I have no idea what this posting was about. Just venting in my own way of all the stupid, stupid things that are going on in my life right now.

Stay warm everyone.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

I AM THE THIRD REVELATION!!!

I had a chance to go see "There Will Be Blood" a couple of days ago - it has been a while since I have been blown away by acting of this caliber. "The Departed" had a good cast, all of whom gave beautiful performances - but no one really stole the show. "Good Night and Good Luck" had great dialog and great screenplay - but it lacked the vehemence of a single minded oil prospector (Daniel Day Lewis).

From a screenplay perspective, this has to be the single best movie I have seen since Trainspotting (sans the magnificent soundtrack though). From an pure acting perspective, I have never seen something this good. Al Pacino in "The Devil's Advocate" comes close for his breathtaking 5 minute solo at the end of the movie - but he did it only for five minutes. Lewis goes on for a full two and a half hours. I would see it again if it were not so long.

Go see the movie and you too may become the Third Revelation!

Nothing else going on in life right now (other than a whole boatload of stuff that I am not going to blog about). I am contemplating writing a book (probably short stories of some sort). Some of you may know this, some of you may not but I have family members who are suffering from Leukemia. If you get a chance, please register yourself as a bone marrow donor - its as easy as swabbing your cheek and you can well and truly save someone's life.

I took the GMAT yesterday and surprised even myself - way better than anything I was expecting given that I only spent all of two weeks studying for it. Grad school applications are also done - so for now, I am doing nothing other than sitting on my big fat behind and contemplating life after February.

I don't believe Charles and Finley left for the NFL - more musings tomorrow.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Time to Rename Things?

This is the time of the year when I start going into some serious withdrawal - there is officially only one college football game left: The National Championship Game (the Senior Bowl does not count).

This year, for a number of other reasons, I am also delusionally optimistic.

And while we are on the topic of college football, how about renaming the turf at the Pasadena Rosebowl "The Vince Young Field of Schooling Pac-10/Big-Can'tCount-10 Teams".

Happy New Year Everyone.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Guess who's back (again)?

So yes, I am finally back on this thing preaching what I think are the best things to preach. But important things first.

Leukemia is very real and the shortage of bone marrow donors is even more real. Please register with the National Marrow Donor Program - it costs barely $50 and could seriously save someone's life. It is a simple procedure that take no than five minutes of paperwork and a swab of the inside of your mouth.

On the next post [you didn't think I was going to tell you everything and give it all away on this inaugral post did you?] we will discuss whether or not people should be allowed to sell their kidneys.

Cheers every one, and welcome back to the blogosphere (that a real word - I checked).

Sunday, September 09, 2007

The end of the line...

At some point, everything has to end. And I am thinking this blog needs to end.... I dont really have the enthusiasm I once had for updating it. And honestly, its a pain trying to think of something creative to write. So this may well be the last post.

Or it may not.

Either way, you'll find out.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Baylor & Texas are not arch rivals

If the article in the WSJ that I refer to during this post is a sign of things to come, Rupert can count me out as a loyal customer. The article in question was published in the WSJ on August 15th and was titled "Animal House: College Mascots Get Luxury Dig". The premise of the article was that college superpowers (primarily in the South & the Southwest) were spending copious amounts of money to build luxury digs for their mascots.

If you were to believe the article Southern University (in Baton Rouge, LA), University of North Alabama (not sure where it is... I guess it's somewhere in Alabama), University of Memphis and Baylor University were college football superpowers in the same vein as LSU, Oklahoma State University and Texas. I am not a well respected journalist and all, but suffice it to say that some are college football superpowers (LSU, Texas, USC, OU, Ohio State, Michigan, etc.) and some are not (Southern University, University of North Alabama, University of Memphis, and Baylor University).

No disrespect intended, just laying out the facts.

But then the article made another retarded statement (Context: Baylor built posh digs for its mascots, the bears, and gave them some sort of Longhorn shaped thing to chew on... you know, keep the teeth and gums healthy and stuff). The retarded statement in question read: "....Baylor trainers also give the animals plastic chew toys in the shape of longhorns, the mascot at arch-rival University of Texas at Austin..."

Pasted below is my response to the WSJ journalist explaining to her the probable logic behind why the bears were given Longhorn shaped things to chew on:

=============================
,

You are mistaken when you note that Baylor & Texas are arch-rivals. The only reason the two even exist in the same conference is because of some crazy deal making by Kay Bailey Hutchinson when the Big 12 was formed. Perhaps there are other reasons for the Baylor bears chweing on the Longhorns:

Oklahoma - Sooners (cant really chew on a wagon or a bunch of people who cheated in a race)
Oklahoma State - Cowboys (Cant have bears chewing on people - too un-PC)
Texas Tech - Red Raiders (Again, cannot chew on people)
Texas A&M - No one even knows what an Aggie looks like (Probably not good looking)
Nebraska - Cornhuskers (Again, its a chewing on people thing)
Iowa State - Cyclones (Good luck chewing on that one)
Kansas State - Wildcats (Potentially chewable, but kind of seems unfair for a bear to pick on a creature significantly smaller than itself)
Kansas - Jayhawk (I doubt a bear would ever catch a hawk - hence no chewing)
Colorado - Buffalos (totally chewable - but not that great a team so why chew on something that sucks)
Missouri - Tigers (again, totally chewable - but given their performances why chew on something that sucks)

Which leaves one mascot (Bevo - a longhorn) which is (a) Chewable on, and (b) represents a school with somewhat of a decent athletics program. That, is probably why the Baylor Bears got replicas of Longhorns to chew on.

Mukund
================================

Jokes aside, less than 2 weeks to the start of the season - did I tell you I have season tickets?!?!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Why I think Google will rule the world:...

I had 2 separate experiences today which have further convinced me that Google will rule the search world and that MSN will flop miserably.

Lets start with the flop first. MSN has been set up as the default search engine on my computer - and being a work computer there are restrictions on which registries I can edit without being logged in as an administrator and therefore I have been unable to set up Google as my default search engine. Needless to say, the courts need to address this. But I digress.

MSN Live (apparently new and enhanced) was unable to find ESPN.com - yes the very ESPN.com that crashes for events like the BCS annoucement, the NCAA tourney announcement, etc. because too many people visit the site. I am no "Internets Expert" but I figure ESPN.com is fairly popular - so its really weird when MSN Live cannot find it. I have half a mind to take a really short short option on Microsoft over a three year period.

Compare this to Google (or more specifically, the calendar function available within Gmail). Let me explain through a series of events:

At some point today a friend of mine emails me and tells me that I have Longhorn season tickets (for football, in case you are wondering). We banter back and forth and I mention in one of those emails that I would be interested in going for the TCU game (among others).

At a totally different point during the day a colleague sent out an email asking which of 3 dates would suit me for a corporate event currently being planned. Not wanting to make a hasty decision (because I am now the proud owner of Longhorn season tickets) I check out the Texas football website (www.mackbrown-texasfootball.com) and inform my colleague of my choices.


At some other point (several hours later) in the day, I log back into Gmail to see what kind of emails I have been receiving. Imagine my surprise when I saw a prompt on the side bar to add three football games to my calendar. And yes, TCU was one of them.

I figure Google put 2 and 2 together (the first 2 being that I had Longhorn football season tickets and the second 2 being that I looked at the schedule before committing to certain dates) and displayed the prompts in my inbox. The dates are correct and so too are the opponents. I have not checked the timings, but I am willing to bet that they are correct. Before you go and complain that the calendar does not include the other games I expressed an interest in attending, bear in mind that it is only displaying games for September - I bet if I revisit the email thread a month from now, it will show games for October as well.

And just because I think you think I may be lying, here is screenshot goodness....




Yeah, should have bought Google; still not too late to short Microsoft & Yahoo. And the Algorithm can kiss my ass.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Throw another shrimp on the barbie...

Random title for this post... not sure why. Alright people, several things to talk about this time around so lets get straight down to business.

Important items first, our president remains fairly delusional when he found signs of improvement in the Iraq report that came out today. That is only marginally better than saying that a person with no hands or legs has reason to remain hopeful because they still have their lips. Lets call a spade a spade, admit that things are fairly horribly messed up, that several mistakes were made along the way and that a new approach is needed. Otherwise a fable about an ostrich, its head and a mound of sand comes to mind.

Onwards we go - the Spice Girls are reuniting for a tour that kicks off in LA - which is also the new home of Posh & Becks. Hard to believe that the Spice Girls phenomenon was about a dozen or so years ago. If they had not become famous, there is a good chance that Simon Cowell would be one amongst many music producers who did not quite make it in the business and would probably be selling records and wiping floors at the Virgin Megastore on Bond Street. Instead, he has an annoying TV show with annoying contestants on an annoying TV channel hosted by (quite possibly) the most annoying male in Hollywood. So, next time someone asks you to tell them what they want (what they really, really want) - please just do so. It would save us all a lot of trouble, you won't need some love like you never had some love before, tonight won't be the night that two become one and you won't have to promise anyone that you will be there (there being the middle of a desert in a tight leather outfit).

(I cannot believe that I can write that much about the Spice Girls without having to look up stuff online)

Coolest Excel function that I have discovered in a while - I am a little geeky like that so if you can figure out what it does, ten points to you. However, just like "Who's Line Is It Anyway", the points don't mean a thing.

{SUM(1/COUNTIF(LIST, LIST))}


Now we need to talk about football (the kind played with a round ball) and then we will sign off by talking about football (the kind played without using your feet except to move from one place to another - which really is what they are meant for).

I have been rather surprised - albeit rather pleasantly - by Manchester United foray into the transfer market. First Owen Hargreaves (solid replacement for Scholes) for a bajillion pounds. Then the two kids from Portugal to lend some serious speed and attacking power to the midfield and the wings because apparently Cristiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney (more on him later) were not deadly enough. And then Tevez who was easily one of Argentina's most impressive players in last years World Cup - and considering that the collective age of these six players is marginally greater than 100 (and that 4 of them cannot legally drink in the US), there should be plenty of attacking football at Old Trafford for some years to come. I have not been this excited about the attacking prowess of a team since Sir Alex tried to sign Robben, Ronaldihno, Ronaldo and Rooney in one summer.

By the way, mad props to Cristiano Ronaldo for scoring with Bipasha Basu - he was after all player of the year.

All of this brings me to my favorite topic of the week. The NCAA vacated the University of Oklahoma football team's 2005 season results because of several key players were employed illegally.While the "official" record books will have the Sooners listed at --4 for the season, I prefer to think of it as an 0-12 season. It has been, by far, the best piece of news that I have received during the dark ages (i.e the period from after the NBA playoffs till the first week in September where there is nothing on TV except baseball). I thought it was a little on the harsh side but the Sooners probably deserve it for being Sooners. The only thing that will make me happier is for USC to suffer a similar fate because, lets face it, Reggie Bush's violations were far more egregious than anything Rhett Bomar did. Lets just say I am now really looking forward to the Texas-OU game and to becoming the proud owner of an 0-12 T-Shirt (which is probably on sale already at the Co-Op).

So I bid you adieu with a "Hook 'em Horns" and a big fat OU SUCKS!!!

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Mobile posting....

First mobile post ever... courtesy of the veritable #134 of the CTA

Blech time...

Football is several months from starting....

Soccer season has finished and even the juicy transfer gossips are done with...

Basketball (which is semi-interesting) is also over...

Only baseball to deal with on TV.

BLECH

Saturday, June 30, 2007

This whole social networking thing...

I don't get this whole social networking websites thing....

First it was Friendster....

Then it was MySpace....

Then it was LinkedIn....

Then it was FaceBook...

Now it is Orkut (keeping with Google's theme of cool/benevolent world domination)

When ever will it end?

A new found respect for ravioli...

Ravioli: noun; pasta in the form of little cases of dough containing a savory filling (as of meat or cheese)

========================================================

Wednesday nights are a big night out on my case team - large team dinners at some of the finest restaurants in town.... Good wine, good food and plenty of friends to share it with. Last Wednesday, however, we had a chance to do something different - cook our own food.

So about 25 of us showed up at this quaint little place in the North End to make one of four courses: salad (a caprese salad with mozzarella made from scratch), pasta (ravioli stuffed with ricotta, chives and basil), meat (roast spice rubbed chicken and pork) and desert (some chocolcate souffle-brulee thing). I was (if you have not already figured it out by the title of this entry) on the ravioli station.

Ravioli begins like most other Pasta - a heap of flour, a cup of water and a couple of eggs. Making the dough is kind of a process. You take a little flour, you whisk an egg into it, then fold in more flour and keep kneading (yes kneading - we were not allowed to use any electronic appliances to speed up the process) till the dough achieves the right consistency. Now this is the hard part - because you dont want the dough to be too soft (it will stick to the molds, get holes and fall apart in the water) or too hard (in which case it will harden up like Tortilla chips). At this point, you have to let the dough sit for about an hour.

Something we gladly did while we went away and enjoyed ourselves a couple of good glasses of wine.

Back to the dough. The dough now has to be transformed from lumps to flat sheets (no one really likes a lump of ravioli). This involves feeding the dough through a pasta roller with progressively smaller settings - all the while making sure that the sheet does not become too thin or get holes in it.

And then we made the filling - realy simple: ricotta, chives, basil, a little olive oil, salt and pepper all folded in. Now it is time to make the actual ravioli. Take one sheet of super thin pasta and lay several evenly spaced dollops of the filling on it. Now, take another sheet of super thin pasta and lay it on top (essentially sandwiching the dollops or ricotta between the two sheets of pasta). Gently squeeze out all the air between the two sheets and then cut the pasta up into Ravioli type things - this is a lot harder than it seems and will be harder if your dough is too sticky. Now crimp the edges to prevent them from coming apart in the water.

Lo and behold, about two and a half hours after you started, you have a nice batch of ravioli that can be tossed with some amazing pasta sauce.

Quite a lot of work and a new found respect for ravioli.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Pride Week

It's PRIDE WEEK...

... show some tolerance, will you.

Crimson Tide

Ever so rarely a movie will crop up that will catapult actors from small time roles into truly mega star kind of roles. If Helen was the face that launched a thousand ships, then Crimson Tide was the movie that launched a thousand careers. The cast of Crimson Tide was strong at the time it was launched several years ago - it is downright fabulous when viewed in retrospect.

Denzel Washington was at that time a budding star in Hollywood - now he is in the 20 million dollar a movie category. True, he had made several good movies before that, but Crimson Tide firmly established him on the list of bankable stars (a la Tom Cruise and Julia Roberts).

James Gandolfini was a pudgy little lieutenant with the last name Dougherty (as in the same last name as Shannon Dougherty - she of the 90210 fame). 12 years later he is the most feared mob boss this side of the Atlantic - the Sopranos has to rank as amongst the best dramas that HBO has ever put out. Bada Bing.

Viggo Mortensen was also a measly lieutenant with the nickname 'WEAPS' - fifteen years later he is ruling all of Middle Earth, rolling with Elves and Dwarves and Hobbits, commanding the riders of Rohan and smooching that Elven hottie Liv Tyler (absolute hottie). I would say he has done fairly well for himself.

And Steve Zahn has also kind of sort of established himself - as the standard white guy in all those really bad Martin Lawrence movies.

On the whole, quite a few million (and that I mean bajillion kajillion) box office dollars have been spawned off that one movie about a submarine and Lippinzaner horses.

Who would have thunk it. Frickin Lippinzaner stalions...

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Boston to London... as Google Maps would like you to do it.

From: Boston, MA
To: London, UK
Drive: 3,734 mi (about 29 days 6 hours)


========================================

Head south on Congress St toward Quaker Ln 0.1 mi

Turn left at Milk St 0.3 mi (3 mins )

Continue on Central St 0.1 mi

Turn right at Long Wharf 0.1 mi

Swim across the Atlantic Ocean Entering France 3,462 mi (29 days 0 hours )

Slight right at E05 0.5 mi (2 mins )

At the traffic circle, take the 2nd exit onto E05/Pont Vauban 0.1 mi

Turn right at E05/Quai Colbert

Continue to follow E05 5.7 mi (10 mins)

Take the exit onto A29/E44 toward Amiens Partial toll road 27.8 mi (23 mins)

Take the exit toward Dieppe/Amiens/Calais/A151/Rouen

Toll road 1.1 mi (1 min)

Merge onto A29 Toll road 22.6 mi (19 mins)

Take the exit onto A28, Partial toll road 45.6 mi (37 mins)

Take the exit onto A16 toward Boulogne/Calais, Partial toll road 63.7 mi (54 mins)

Take exit 42 0.6 mi (1 min)

Slight right 1.0 mi (2 mins)

Turn right 0.4 mi (1 min)

Turn right 0.2 mi (4 mins)

Take the Dover Folkestone - Calais Frethun train to Folkstone

Entering United Kingdom (England) 34.2 mi (1 hour 2 mins)

Continue straight 0.3 mi (2 mins)

Slight right toward M20 1.6 mi (4 mins)

Merge onto M20 via the ramp to London/Ashford 47.2 mi (45 mins)

Continue on A20 (signs for London (SE)/Lewisham) 9.7 mi (15 mins)

At Clifton's Roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto A20/Sidcup Rd

Continue to follow A20 2.2 mi (6 mins)

At the traffic circle, take the 2nd exit onto A20/Loampit Vale, Continue to follow A20 1.3 mi (4 mins)

Continue on A2/Lewisham Way, Continue to follow A2 0.7 mi, (2 mins)

Slight right at A2/Kender St 72 ft

Turn right to stay on A2/Kender St

Continue to follow Kender St 0.3 mi (1 min)

Turn left at A2/New Cross Rd, Continue to follow A2 1.9 mi (5 mins)

At Brick Layers Arms, take the 1st exit onto A201/New Kent Rd 0.6 mi (2 mins)

At the traffic circle, take the 2nd exit onto A302/St George's Rd 0.4 mi (1 min)

Turn left at A3203/Lambeth Rd 0.6 mi (3 mins)

At the traffic circle, take the 2nd exit and stay on A3203/Lambeth Rd, Continue to follow A3203 0.2 mi, (1 min)

At Horseferry Rd, take the 3rd exit onto A3212/Millbank, Continue to follow A3212 0.4 mi, (1 min)


Random Observations from the Democratic Pre-2008 Presidential Election, Pre-DNC, Pre-Caucuses, Pre-New Hampshipre, Pre-Iowa debate

Super Fiesty: Joe Biden was definitely super fiesty when defending his record on voting for the spending bill.

Pot-shots: Everyone is taking pot-shots at everyone else. Edwards on Obama, Kucinic on everyone else (where the hell does this guy even get the money to run every single time an election comes around?) and Obama on the general retarded questioning by Wolf Blitzer.

Gay-Love: Everyone seems to be bashing the don't ask don't tell policy. Where the hell have these guys been for the last 15 years?

Stupid question of the night #1: By show of hands, who thinks gays should be allowed to serve openly in the military?

Shrek: Bill Richardson has, by far, the biggest ears that I have ever seen. Almost as if he were tapped into NORAD.

Bill-fest: Everyone wants to use Bill Clinton if they win. Hillary too (half wishing that she would respond by saying "I would put him in charge of the summer intern program")

Who the hell is John Gravel? Why is he even on this stage? But he does say kind of sensible things.

Stupid question of the night #2: What would you do to reduce record-high gasoline prices? Edwards & Kucinic have boneheaded answers about how Congress should intervene and tax oil companies using some sort of a windfall tax.

Chris Dodd has way too much hair gel - his hair does not move an inch even though his head is nodding vigorously.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

I, CT, 21C, W

So what do immigration, carbon trading, 21st century innovation and good wine have in common? Nothing. Other than the fact that we will be talking about them today.

Immigration:
There is an immigration reform bill that is making its way through Congress (as I write this, so to speak. And for the first time, I think there is an immigration bill that I kind of support and hope that it passes and becomes law. My primary bone with most immigration proposals to date is that it gives way too much amnesty to those who came here illegally while ignoring those (like myself) who came here via the legal – and considerably more expensive – method of coming to the US for higher studies and staying on.

It is safe to say – and contrary to what some like Lou Dobbs may lead you to believe – that immigration is not depriving American’s of their livelihood. US Unemployment has hovered around 4% for several years now. More importantly, inflation has also remained in check over the same period. Both of which would lead many an economist to suggest that the economy is in some kind of happy equilibrium (at the so called NAIRU).

My understanding is that immigrant communities typically fall into three camps. Some that work the low paying jobs that most American are just too darned lazy to do (really, the only time white American’s harvest oranges may be in those incredulous TV commercials where they pick the orange and hand a carton of orange juice to shoppers). Some that work the highly skilled, high paying jobs (like software engineers). And some that fall somewhere in the middle and address labor shortages in critical areas like health & education.

Given that this bill addresses the needs of stakeholders across each of these three groups, it is probably the most sensible bill of its kind in a long time. For the betterment of America’s future, it should be allowed to pass.


Carbon Trading:
I think it is absolutely ludicrous that the powers that be (i.e. the Bush administration) fail to realize the benefits of emissions trading given how gung-ho they are about free markets and capitalism. Emissions trading is by far the most efficient method at solving what is truly a global problem. It is the Coase Theorem – which has been discussed in this blog before – at its finest. It is heartening to see states (like California & New York) take matters into their own hands and move forward with their own, state-level emissions trading programs.


21st Century Innovation:
I heard a very interesting remark last weekend. Someone mentioned to me (as part of a larger conversation on a totally different subject) that immigrants today lack the association with innovation advances that earlier generations had. I have to disagree.

Innovation today cannot – and should not – be measured in terms of standard productivity metrics such as hours to complete a certain job, raw materials needed to craft a certain item, etc. Innovation today has to be measured within the context of where it occurs most frequently in today’s economy. Take the financial services sector where sheer advances in computing power have been used to build increasingly complex (and efficient) trading models to squeeze every little penny out of every little deal (i.e. leaving as little money on the table as possible). Or in medicine where improved diagnostics and surgical procedures are delivering tangible results to people like you and me. Or the strides made in every-day business decision making thanks to the plethora of business & user software that is available today (any day that you can INDEXMATCH or SUMPRODUCT your way to better decisions is a good day).

So please, stop whining about how Americans and other people are no longer inventing stuff that can improve every day life. Innovation is happening much faster than ever before – its just happening in so many subtle ways that you do not perceive the incremental steps; you only enjoy the end product.

Which brings us to our last topic of the day – good wine. I was in Napa Valley last weekend and ran into some really good wines. Needless to say a case has been ordered and will be enjoyed at my leisure over the course of the weekend (and beyond).

Peace out everyone.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Champions!!

After a miserable 4 year drought, Manchester United are Premiership champions once again. A long time coming but it could not have been a sweeter #16. Lets just say 3 more and I will be happy as I can be.

Which brings me to what I am really blogging about. I was at a bar the other day watching Chelsea draw with ASSnel. Given the importance of the game, it was safe to say that several Manchester United fans were in attendance (Chelsea had to win the game to keep the race alive). Chelsea drew and it was a crazy party scene at Fado's - people hugging and high-fiving everywhere, Man-Utd flags and banners everywhere, Champagne on the house, etc. I have no problems with any of that.

And as i am sitting there and having my champagne one of the lads turns to me and says "Congratulations - well played. Good game...Good end to a good season." With all due respect, its not like I actually "played" at any time during the season (unless you count the lazy right arm raised gesture used to get the waiter's attention). Its not like he played at any point during the season. The Manchester United team played well and they deserved to win the title. Not some slobbering fans sitting in Chicago and drinking beers when their team is busy sweating it out on the field.

Having ranted about all of that and more, here is to celebrating in my teams success and looking forward to number 17 a year from now.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Rants & Raves

Rant & Rave of the week number 1:
I am sure all of you have seen the MasterCard ad where the zoo keeper is sick. And his elephant basically finds his MasterCard debit card and goes to town with it. To be fair to the elephant, it buys things like hot soup and throat lozenges and Kleenex for the zoo keeper. But what prevents it from swiping the card and using it to buy whatever elephants buy – alfalfa grass, tusk polish, really large ear muffs for the cold African savannah winters, etc.

Now just think how much damage a human could do with the same MasterCard debit card? If I were MasterCard I would take some of that well earned IPO money and put it towards a somewhat more sensible ad.


Rant & Rave of the week number 2:
I hate being put on the “Departure Management List” (a.k.a “Anal Cavity Search List”) every time I buy a one-way ticket. In my defense, I am what you would call a “business traveler” so I buy more one-way tickets than the average person. Furthermore, I have flown over 100,000 miles each of the last two years ON THE SAME AIRLINE and am on track to do the same this year as well. So it utterly peeves me when that very airline puts me on the departure management list. Oh yeah, I am still waiting for my status card from this very airline.

Peace out people, don't rant or rave too much.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Bestest Chicken Stew Ever

Due to popular demand, I am posting on my blog a recipe for my favorite chicken stew (a.k.a Mukund's Chicken Stewed in White Wine).

For this recipe you will need
  • 1 pack of chicken breasts & thighs (skinned but with bones)
  • Some potatoes, tomatoes, carrots, peas, celery and shallots
  • Spices - paprika, salt, pepper, cloves, red pepper
  • Olive oil
  • Bay leaves, rosemary
  • I can of chicken stock (you can also use vegetable stock if you prefer)

And now, to make the great chicken stew:
  1. Crush the bay leaves with some cloves, add a sprig of rosemary, a dash of paprika and salt to some olive oil. Marinate the chicken in this overnight.
  2. The next day, take some more bay leaves, and add them to gently heated olive oil. Add shallots and some chilli powder and sautee for a short while (I have no idea what it means for something to be gently heated. It is either heated or its not - I just thought it would be cool to sound professionaly and say something like "gently heated").
  3. Add the chicken and brown on both sides to lock in the flavor (discard the marinade from the previous night - I should't really have to tell you this).
  4. Add the remaining spices and celery and cook some more (till the tomatoes have wilted and there is plenty of tomato juice flowing about)
  5. Now add the chicken stock along with the rest of the vegetables and bring to a boil
  6. Now add the wine (adding the wine when the water is boiling will evaporate some of the alcohol and leave behind the flavors of the wine). Please be careful as this step has potential for mucho fuego.
  7. Reduce heat and allow everything to simmer for about 2 hours or so (vary a little bit depending on how low you simmer stuff and how thick you like your stews).
  8. Serve with cous cous, risotto or a light pilaf (pulao, pilao... whatever)

If you don't love the above recipe, there must be something wrong with you.

Free Panty from Victoria's Secret

Since I am not home very often, I do mail about once a week. And given that I pay most of my bills online, most of the mail that I do get is junk mail. So I was pleasantly surprised when I got the following in my mail the other day:




At this point, I am thinking that I have two choices. The first would be to find a friend who would actually put such a gift card to good use. The second would be to revive my long moribund cross dressing behavior.

So I decide to do the latter. Only to quickly realize that I never really had a cross dressing career to begin with. Unless you are counting that one "Pimps & Hos" party several years ago in college - there are probably one or two pictures from it floating around and since I don't have any of them I am just a little bit worried.

And then I start thinking about the real issue here. The issue here is not that I don't have a cross dressing problem. The issue here is that this gift certificate was sent to me in the first place. So someone in the middle of Ohio did not do their job properly. In case you are wondering why Ohio, I hate to break it to you, but VS is based out of the rather un-sexy town of Columbus, OH - not some chic place on the French riviera or Salvador Bahia.

What kind of apparel company sends a free panty coupon to a 25 year old male? And no, don't even try to argue that a female could have been living in my apartment in the past - I have been living in this place for 2.5 year and the card was addressed to someone named Jerome anyway.

Somewhere in that giant customer database, something went horribly wrong.

Free panty for anyone who wants to drop me a note and claim the card.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Ze blog is back in town! Ze blog is back in town!

================================================
(sung to the tune of “The boys are back in town” by Thin Lizzy

Guess what just got back today?
This crazy blog that had been away
Somewhat changed, have a lot to say
But man, I still think being back is great
…..
(chorus)
Ze blog is back in town
Ze blog is back in town
================================================


It is kind of sad that my last several postings have been about how I am back and updating my blog regularly. There is a valid reason – I have been overseas for much of last year (doing this and that…. And that).

(sung to “I will survive”)

But now I’m back
This sprightly spring
Of unbridled foolishness
And wisdom shall again
Go boldly where no spring has
So boldly flown before


Truth be told there is much to write about. From travel “best of lists” (if only because there aren’t enough of them already on the internet) to crazy travel experiences to how nice it is to see a democratic controller congress to crazy goings-on in Virginia…. You get the point.

As I have already said, I was on an international assignment for the better part of the last year (more June ’06 to March ’07 – but who’s counting?). Being that an airline was my client, I got to fly on sub-load tickets (read: ridiculously cheap tickets for airline employees) all the time. 90% of it was on what has to be one of the best business classes in the sky.

The following list – compiled after 200,000+ miles of travel, 21 destinations [Kuala Lumpur, Cebu, Bangkok, Hong Kong, Beijing, Shanghai, Kathmandu, Mumbai, Nairobi, Zanzibar, Dubai, Qatar, Oman, Beirut, London, Munich, Vienna, Moscow, Maldives (5 times), Seychelles, Athens), and one completely, totally maxed-out (maxed-out in the “lets go somewhere in Europe because they have small immigration stamps” maxed-out) – represents some of my most memorable experiences:

Best street food: Toss up between Kuala Lumpur & Hong Kong
Craziest clubbing: Moscow
Craziest Karaoke: Beijing (more on this later)
Best Peking duck: Peking (well, duh)
Best place to do nothing for a weekend: Maldives
Most interesting shoe-shine experience: The Peninsula, Hong Kong
Best hotel I ever stayed in: The 4 Seasons, Kuda Huraa, Maldives
Craziest check-in for a flight #1: Doha-Beijing (20 minutes before departure)
Craziest check-in for a flight #2: Doha-Kuala Lumpur (couple minutes before departure)
Best part about life in Doha: Ability to “room-charge” a taxi
Great drinking experience #1: Oktoberfest (Munich)
Most expensive lesson learned: Don’t go of-froading in an LR3 or an Z3
Best in-flight meal: Mango pannacotta for breakfast on Qatar airways
Great drinking experience #2: Caipirihnas in Kathmandu (don’t ask)
Coolest hotel in the middle-east: Grovesnor house, Dubai
Coolest hotel in London: The Sanderson (check out the bars)
Great drinking experience #3: Johhnie black & bottled green tea in Beijing
Worst morning after experience: Night after Great drinking experience #3
Biggest “huh” moment: Waking up in Kuala Lumpur with a receipt from “Passion Flirt Bar” in your pocket
Best shopping: Silk market, Beijing
Most overrated hotel: Burj-Al-Arab (Dubai)
Great drinking experience #4: Buddha Bar, Dubai
Best ham & cheese croissant: Paul (London)
Most overrated city: Athens (one bloody ruin is not all that great)
Best drive: Athens to Souinion (along the coast)
Most bad-ass place for a temple: Souinion (Temple of Poseidon)

Random as this list may be, what follows has to rank as one of the most random events of my life and a super accelerated lesson on culture shock.

Crazy Travel Story of the Week:
So we went for Karaoke in Beijing (a very serious, alcohol intensive and expensive affair). And I am drinking copious amounts of Johnny black & green tea (I would seriously regret the following morning, but really, that is not the point of this story).

The point of this story is that at some point I had to go do my “number one” business in the bathroom. And as I am going about doing my “number one” business (staring straight ahead, never looking down – of course) I feel a warm wet piece of cloth on my shoulders.

I am surprised.

I then feel my shoulders being gently massaged.

Now I am a little scared.

I turn around to find a little Chinese guy in uniform massaging my shoulders. Apparently it was his job to massage people while they are going about their “number one” business.

Now I am enjoying myself…. So I stayed for a while and enjoyed the massage. Truly a brilliant concept that I think the entire world should adopt.

Crazy travel experiences aside, let’s just say I am glad to be back in the US. And what a US it is – a democrat controlled congress. And democrats with enough balls to go after the administration for all it’s screw ups. The ware spending bill was impressive, but genius would have been to tie the money (which, realistically, cannot be cut off) to regular updates to Congress by the President himself (think of it as a quarterly “status update”). And then there is Gonzo. I have never seen anyone create a bigger mountain out of a smaller molehill – my suspicion is that Gonzo will go. And he probably deserves to – its not like he did anything an attorney general is responsible for. He ended up becoming the White House’s lawyer (something that he is definitely not supposed to be).

Speaking of strange goings-on on the East Coast, I am sure everyone has, by now, heard about the killings at Virginia Tech the other day. 32 people died. And I understand that this is a sad and tragic issue for everyone involved. But can we take a minute and think about the people in Darfur?

Consider that the pogrom in that part of the world has cost over 200,000 lives over the last year. That works out to about 550 deaths a day. It makes 32 sound like a very good day. My point is not to belittle the tragedy at Virginia Tech. My point is to ask you to stop and think about the holocaust that is occurring – at this very moment – on the other side of the world.

Just because it is in Africa doesn’t mean that we do not have to care.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Guess who's back??

OK,

So i am back. I feel that I have neglected this blog for way to long. But there is a good reason for it - I went on vacation to Europe earlier in the summer and since then I have been in Doha (Qatar) working on a project. So, to be fair, its not like I have been home very much to work on this little blog of mine. A lot has happened during this time - I went to Europe, I went to India (bombay for the first time in about 15 years), I went to the Maldives (very pretty), very nice to just sleep around for a weekend.

But the real point of this posting is to let everyone know that I am writing this blog from the coach cabin on a flight. And that in of itself is just ludicrous. It has been an incredibly long time since I flew coach. Heck, I can count on one hand the number of times I have paid and flown coach in this year (london to amsterdam, amsterdam to budapest, prague to amsterdam, amsterdam to london, madras to bombay). And now on my way back from the maldives - but the trip to the maldives is a free trip so I shall not complain. But the more difficult thing about this is that after having been spoiled so much, it is difficult to go back to a normal vacation (say, when i am no longer doing this jet setting and actually have to pay for my vacations.

I feel like there is so much to write about - all the stuff that is happening in the US, college football, the republicans about to be thrashed by the democrats in the november elections (then again, the democrats will probably even screw that up), my life in Doha, my life outside of Doha. So many things, so little time. But I promise that I will spend more time working on it in the near future.

This has probably been my most pointless post to date - all fluff, no substance.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Ho Hum...

===========================================
Straight? What's 'straight'?
A line can be straight, or a street.

But the heart of a human being?
===========================================

I seem to be in the middle of this completely random blogging frenzy. Two posts yesterday, one post today - oh well, when there is stuff to write, you write.

There has been a story that has been cracking me up for the past couple of days. Driving schools. Yes, the ones with the funky cars that no one else would buy with the big ass sign on top saying " Driving School" flanked by 2 red triangles warning you (WARNING YOU!!) to keep your distance. And even though you saw a lot of these driving school cars, you never actually knew anyone who went to one of these. And, if you are in India, there is a good chance that that the bumper is painted with some sort of a sticker that says "Horn Please", "Hum Do Hamare Do" (literally translation - "Us Two, Ours Two"... The Govt. of India needs to do something and everything possible vis a vis family planning), etc..

But we are in India.

And my friend is taking driving lessons. She is the first person I know who has been through this. Well, my mother did but that was like 20 years ago and therefore does not count. Why doesn't it count? Well, there was no internet then was there? Some people prefer to look at history in pre-Christ and post-Christ terms, I prefer to look at it as prewww (which sounds a lot like pre-eewww, which is exactly the term I would use to describe life before the internet) and postwww....


I digress.

As I was saying, till last week I could have safely said that all my friends were driving school virgins. Sadly, no more because this one friend of mine in Bombay decided that she could not wait till marriage to give up her (driving school) virginity. I still think the concept is hilarious... especially since she has already been driving for about 7-8 years already. She will possibly counter with some rubbish about how she never knew how to drive a stick (TOTAL lack of initiative), etc. To all that I say... in my best high school blonde drama queen impersonation (complete with ass sticking out, one leg straight, one leg bent, heels, a slight tilt of the upper torso, and hand stuck out in the talk-to-the-hand style)


WHATEVER!

Her picture is shown below. Why is it all fizzled out? You ask. I say because we made a pact that she would send me two TYPES of photos (she knows what they are). She instead sent me two photos of the same type (I'm no fool). So when she sends me the other type of photo, how do I say this.... all will be revealed. (Apologies if that sounded a little sodarktheconofman-ish
- I just got done reading TDVC).

On a serious note though, she is one of the best people I know. A great friend. An awesome person. A great hugger (yes, people can be that way). Someone who can make me smile almost anytime (except when she goes shoe-shopping because that leaves me utterly bored) and someone who has made it a point to keep in touch despite being so far away (don't you all worry - she is coming back for good this summer). I have her chained. Oh yeah, in the rare event that any of you are wondering why we haven't "done anything" yet... trust me, it is not for lack of trying.

I'm going a-traveling in two weeks. Book suggestions will be welcomed and accepted. Keep if dark and sombre (i.e. human), but readable (i.e. no War and Peace but The Stranger and Fine Balance would be welcomed with open arms and flowers... much like liberators).

Friday, May 12, 2006

PS3 vs. Wifey

==============================================
Love Thy PlayStation, Love Thyself
Why you should make a $500 game console your life partner.
By Reihan Salam and Will Wilkinson
Posted on Slate.com
Thursday, May 11, 2006, at 3:55 PM ET
==============================================

As summer approaches, millions of Americans busily plan their weddings, full of hope for the future. That is understandable. In recent years, a number of economists and sociologists, including Christopher Jencks, David Ellwood, Kathryn Edin, Daniel Hamermesh, and David Popenoe have stressed the benefits of marriage. But before you tie the knot, pause for a moment and consider whether a spouse is what you really need. Could it be that you'd be happier if you shacked up with the Sony PlayStation 3?

Economists David Blanchflower and Andrew Oswald have suggested that a lasting marriage produces as much happiness as an extra $100,000 a year in salary. This might sound like a strong case for getting hitched. But many economists have shown that happiness is expensive—$100,000 will buy you only a small amount of joy. Studies like these also hide individual variation. Marriage isn't worth $100,000 to just anybody. A recent German study found that matrimony's hedonic gains go disproportionately to couples who have similar education levels but a wide income gap. Worse yet, on average, people adapt very quickly and completely to marriage. As anyone who's ever consumed seven pumpkin pies in one sitting knows, we quickly get used to our favorite new things, and we just as quickly tire of them. As Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert artfully puts it, "Psychologists call this habituation, economists call it declining marginal utility, and the rest of us call it marriage."

We submit that a relationship with a PlayStation 3 is worth at least $100,000 a year in happiness for all individuals. Unlike a nagging spouse, the PS3 doesn't care about your income or your level of education—it loves you just the way you are. It is true that you will eventually become accustomed to your sleek new PS3, but this will take an extremely long time. The PS3, after all, has been built expressly to keep mind-blowing novelty coming and coming and coming. Periodic infusions of novelty—new games—will keep the endorphins flowing.

Even if you assume that a good marriage is worth $100,000, you can't discount the vast amount of money it takes to woo a spouse. The costs of daily grooming—calculated at the minimum wage—run into the tens of thousands of dollars over a lifetime, not counting the costs of soap, water, Gillette Fusion cartridges, and Old Spice. Then there are the birthday presents, the anniversary presents, and the occasional meals at popular chain restaurants, not to mention the incalculably expensive psychic toll of accommodating your schedule to the increasingly unreasonable demands of your "partner." Compare with the PS3, which does not demand that you bathe or slather yourself in cologne and is available for guilt-free sensual pleasures 24 hours a day. Admittedly, you will have to purchase new games to keep the romance alive with your PS3. This, however, is vastly less expensive than renewing your nuptials, the tack taken by human couples such as Kevin Federline and Britney Spears.

Some weak-kneed gamers will object to paying the PS3's high price tag: $500 for the "cheap" version, $600 for a souped-up model. This reluctance is understandable. Amusements like the PS2, the Xbox 360, and the Turbo Grafx 16 were never an adequate substitute for human companionship. Keep in mind, however, that none of these platforms could play Blu-ray DVDs, a fatal flaw rectified by the PS3. Life with the primitive PS2 is best understood as a loveless marriage, a source of stress and anxiety rather than true happiness.

And really, how expensive is $500? According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the median household income in America in 2003 was $43,318. Gamers skew young, so let's be conservative and cut that number in half. That's $21,659. The Organisation for Economic Co-Operation and Development says Americans worked an average of 1,792 hours in 2003. That comes to $12.09 an hour for those making half the median. At that rate, a $500 PS3 can be had for a little more than 41 hours of work—about half of which you will spend reading blog posts about Lindsay Lohan. That 41 hours of work will earn you how many hours of dopamine-pumping PS3 action? The Entertainment Software Association informs us that the average American gamer spends about seven-and-a-half hours per week, or 390 hours annually, riding the video tiger. Let's again make a conservative estimate and assume that PS3 users will log twice that amount: 780 hours a year of gaming time. Now suppose your PS3 explodes in a dazzling shower of sparks after exactly one year. In that tragic circumstance, each hour of pixelated joy will have cost you about three minutes on the job. If it makes you feel better, you can spend that three minutes in the bathroom.

The Bush administration's "Healthy Marriage Initiative," an innovative effort to encourage stable marriages among the poor, has been one of the hallmarks of compassionate conservatism. Wouldn't it make more sense, though, to establish a "PlayStation 3 Initiative" that will put video game consoles in the hands of the neediest?

The bard was wrong....

To say the least. Perfect little country that. Pretty houses and stuff. Biggest "so bloody what" moment? The Little Mermaid statue. Absolutely "so-bloody-what" ish.

Having said that, I must say I am COMPLETELY impressed by immigration lines (or the complete lack thereof) in the Schengen countries. In the US or UK, you have to fill out this gigantic form (that I screw up at least once, meaning I have to fill it out twice) with information that already exists either on your passport or on your visa. In the Schengen area, the guy looks at your passport, slides your visa page through a reader (similar to a bar code reader), stamps your passport and tells you to be off and on your way. So much easier. So much quicker.

Yummy... yummy... yummy...















I got food in my tummy.....















And this kid is really excited about being breast fed...



















Nooooo!.. Get your head out of the gutter... this is the Danish Horticulture Center... really, you need to get your head out of the gutter

Monday, May 01, 2006

Mutt(er)

Main Entry: mutt
Pronunciation: 'm&t
Function: noun
Etymology: short for muttonhead dull-witted person
1 : a stupid or insignificant person
2 : a mongrel dog
======================================

So I think myself as somewhat of a mutt. In as much as that I am somewhat of a mix of different cultures and countries. I was born in India and, except for a brief spell in Minnesota, for all practical purposes lived there till I was about ten years old. We then moved to Kenya and lived there till I was about 18 and left home and went off to college. By the way, while my parents were paying rent on the family house in Kenya, I was in boarding school back in India for about five years. I attended college at the University of Texas at Austin, and moved to Chicago a couple of years ago (some company hired me… don’t ask me why). So, I think you understand what I mean when I say that I am somewhat of a mutt.

But more and more I think of myself and act as an American. And I think it is because some of my most formative years (i.e. college) were spent in the US.

I will admit, I am not a huge fan of the current administration. Indeed, I have lambasted them on this very blog on numerous occasions in the past. The lack of intelligence and cavalier attitudes towards important issues so prevalent in this administration is seriously stupefying. If I were an American (and especially if I were traveling in some other part of the world), I would be ashamed of this country and be put in a difficult position of trying to defend its actions.

At the same time, the fact that I can sit here and comment very publicly about this, however, is what makes me love this country so much.

There are too many countries in the world where freedom of expression is not what it should be. The Chinese still have to look behind their shoulders to see if the Party is watching over them. Many in theological states like Afghanistan have to worry about practicing their religion – if they are not Muslims (the fact that you can get the death penalty for being a Christian is nothing short of absolutely ridiculous). The very fact that you come all the way to America and then chastise America for being America says a lot about this country as well as the one you left behind to come here.

Which brings me to my next point – the US always has been (and will continue to remain) a society that has welcomed immigrants to all parts of society. The number of ethnic communities that have migrated here over the years are numerous and prosperous. Indeed, each ethnic group brings to the American society its own unique set of economic and social contributions.

Immigration, however, should not be viewed as a fundamental birth right. Freedom of expression, freedom to enjoy life, freedom from slavery – those are fundamental birth rights. The right to immigrate is a privilege and should be treated as just that. Nothing more, nothing less.

In light of all this, I have to admit that I do not understand all these protests about legalizing illegal immigrants and so on. You broke the law, and now you have to pay for it. Just because you happen to be non-American does not mean that you can get out of jail for free (by some perverse sense of logic, its almost as if the law does not apply to you because you are not American). It pains me even more as an immigrant myself, because I took the legal & considerably more expensive way of moving to this country via the college route. If I had known I could get amnesty, I would have just tried my luck jumping the fence.

Which leads me to my next point with a somewhat subtle segue. Wars have been fought over this against the British, many a man earned the venerable title of “founding father” due to this, and most recently, an intelligent southern President of this country attracted a lot of attention because of his license plates which also carried this message (no guesses for figuring out who because there has been only one intelligent southern President in the last 25 years as far as I am concerned).

Taxation Without Representation.

I will admit that I am privileged enough to have found a job that I enjoy immensely as well as one that pays me rather well. I work hard (like many other people in this country) and collect a more than decent paycheck that allows me to enjoy a standard of living that would put me in the top 15% of the American population. Up to 40% of my income goes in taxes – and I have no problem with this because I know that my money goes towards education, healthcare, and other vital public services that would be otherwise grossly underfunded. But every now and then a politician will get elected from my district or state who I don’t agree with ideologically or is more interested in bringing home the pork.

Because of this, I believe I should be given the right to vote. I think it is only fair that someone who contributes to society to the financial extent that I do (my taxes for the each of my last three returns have exceeded the annual earnings of the median American worker) should be given the right to decide how my money is spent. This is the case in many European countries where immigrants can vote in local elections provided they have lived and paid taxes in that country for a certain amount of time. I don’t care much about having the right to vote in Presidential elections but I sure would love to have the chance to vote for my Senators, Representatives and Governors.

OK – I am done with my political rant for the month. Be good people.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

King Spider?... Spider Kong?

Some time ago I had a rather marvelous dream. With all sorts of super powers and all. With the bulk, hairy chest and strong arms of King Kong. And the lithe, nimble body and aiming powers of Spider Man. With those qualities I will be a veritable stud in bed. But I digress. Obviously, there was a beautiful girl involved in the dream. And evil people (the bad guys).

So this big bad guy picks me and and flings me towards the corner of the ceiling. And I just extend my arms and loop around the beam at the top. And swing around. And sit there up top looking nice and pretty. And studly. Then the big guy jumps up on towards the beam to come after me and beat me to a pulp. I shrink myself and squeeze myself into the crack between two bricks. And the bad guy could not find me after that at all.

With an imagination as vivid as this, I have no need for any sort of recreational drugs.

Now, I have blogged about a great many topics on this great mouthpiece of mine. And I have quite a large following of avid readers. Everyday, when I check my email, I am overwhelmed by the sheer number of requests and fan mail (honestly, I get emails from places as far away as India and Kenya).

So, if you want me to blog about you (or if you generally want to make it on to my blog in a positive manner) send me a picture of yourself. All ladies should take note that revealing pictures (including, but not limited to, tasteful nudes, other nudes, nekkid pics, topless shots, bottomless shots, and any other shots not mentioned here) will get you noticed and on to my blog faster than you can say “Is my ass too big?”.

So get on it.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

A Travelin' We Go...

It is that time of the year again. The sun is out. The skirts are out. The legs are a-showin. Everyone is friendly. And I haven't been on an aircraft going somewhere meaningful that it is practically frustrating. And you know when I itch to go somewhere, I go and do something about it. So I did.

Copehhagen: This is going to have to be a quickie weekend trip. Just taking in the basics - Tivoli, Nyhavn, cafes, etc. I will be going from the 4th to the 7th of May - If you have any suggestions about things to do, drop me a line.

Budapest: This is part of my grand Europe trip. And also because I did not want to spend any time looking at old, quaint buildings in quaint old Western Europe (Belgium). This should be fun - my first trip to Eastern Europe. And, apparently, they are big into thermal baths and half-hour massages and stuff - all for the delectable price of about $15. You know I am down for stuff like that.

Luxembourg: Why? Because it is Luxembourg. And I want to check that it actually exists.

Prague: Yes, going back east across the old Iron curtain (I guess now it would be called the brushed aluminum curtain?). Heard so many good things about this place. Praha should be fun - also hoping to get in some trips to neighboring places like Cesky Krumlov. If you know of fun , off the beaten track things to do, again, drop me a line.

Amsterdam: Ah yes. Tulips. Fine coffee. Take a deep breath. Exhale. . Apparently they also have stuff to do and see over here. And crazy parties of the uninhibited kind.

Watch this space for photos from the tip. In the meantime, check out www.thirteenmonths.com. It is the blog of a San Francisco couple who are travelling the world for 13 months. They are my new found heroes.

For those of you keeping score, by the time my travels to Europe have been completed, I would have visited 23 countries and 28 states.

Foooooooooooood

It is rather surprising that for someone who enjoys fine food and desert as much as I do, I don't really blog as much as I perhaps should about food. Well, this entire post is about restaurats - one that has really good food but has pissed me off a decent amount, and a whole bunch of others that have really good food.

We begin with Duck Walk. It is a Thai restaurant in Chicago's trendy Lakeview area and serves really good Thai food. They also, like most other Chicago restaurants I know, offer a delivery service. And to publicize their restaurants, they used to keep slipping menus under my door every other day. I would go away for a week and come back to find 5 menus under my door. It was like restaurant-snail-mail spam. Then I took action. This happened:



Since then: Duck Walk 0 - Mukund 1. Just goes to show my powers of persuasion.

Now on to the real purpose of this blog. Having been in this country for something like six and a half years, I feel the need to make a list of some of my favorite restaurants. Of course, a majority of these restaurants are in Chicago & Austin (well, because I have lived in those two cities for a majority of my time in the US). And they are listed in no particular order, if you haven't already, check them out:

  • Ba Mien - Chicago - Some of the best Pho I have ever had
  • Charlie Trotters - Chicago - Any place that consistently gets ranked amongst the top 50 restaurants in the world has to be that good
  • The Clay Pit - Austin - Good contemporary Indian cuisine, and my personal favorite - the lal toofan. Btw, word of warning if you go for the lunch buffet - the mango custard is addictive
  • Chuy's - Austin - Best TexMex Ever. End of story.
  • The Salt Lick - Austin - Insanely good barbecue #1
  • Sams's - Austin - Insanely good barbecue #2
  • The County Line - Austin - Insanely good barbecue #3
  • Pitches - Milwaukee - Insanely good barbecue #4
  • Bittersweet - Chicago - Some of the best deserts I have had this side of the Atlantic
  • Meskerem - New York - Great Ethiopian food
  • The Ethiopian Diamond - Chicago - Better Ethiopian food
  • Lou Malnati's - Chicago - Delicious Chicago style pizza
  • Sushi Samba - Chicago - Best over the top sushi experience
  • Fuji Ya - Minneapolis - The best sushi I have had in this country
  • Martini Blu - Minneapolis - Good sushi, tremendous ribeye, and some of the hottest waitstaff I have ever known (also home for something like 8 months last year)
  • The Capital Grille - All over - One of my favorite steakhouses
  • The Dancing Ganesha - Milwaukee - My favorite Indian restaurant; food's about as close to home cooked as I have come across in an Indian restaurant
  • Duke of Perth - Chicago - Lovely neighborhood pub (great scotch sel
  • La Creperie - Chicago - Crepes! Crepes! Crepes!
  • Amys Ice Cream - Austin - mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
  • Freebirds - Austin - The single good thing to come out of College Station. Oh yeah, they make great Burritos too.
  • Pluckers - Austin - Lovely, lovely wings.
  • That hot dog guy who opens shop at 2 AM on Sixth Street
  • Tempo Cafe - Chicago - Apparently all of Chicago ends up here at 4 in the morning to undrink. Oh yeah, they only take cash.
  • Cafe Babareeba - Chicago - Tapas!
  • Alladin - Chicago - Best middle eastern (fast food type)
  • Tsunami - Chicago - Lovely sushi
  • Sushi Mura - Chicago - Lovely little sushi place in lakeview
  • Flaming Wok - Chicago - Best Indian place to undrink at 4 AM
  • Nomi - Chicago - Decadent hot chocolate (think hot steamed milk and Teuscher truffles)
  • Eatery 110 - Minneapolis - Best Tuna I have ever had, and they have live Jazz two nights a week
  • Madam Mam's - Austin - Thai
  • Noodles in the Pot - Chicago - Thai
  • The Red Lion - Chicago - Neighborhood Pub (voted to GQs list of top 100 neighborhood pubs in the country)
  • Le Colonial - Chicago - A little pricey but some of the best Vietnamese-French fusion food I have ever had.
So some of you may ask me, why have so many other restaurants been left off of this list. How come I did not include Nacional? How come I did not include Cru? Why was there no place for Japonais?.... Well, it all boils down to this. Every place that made the list is a place that I would return to time after time. And probably still talk about long after I have left that city. In much the way Gatundu's in Nairobi will always remain a special place for me.

Oh yeah, also consider the possibility that I forgot about these restaurants when typing up my list.

Paradox

Paradox: noun
Etymology: Latin paradoxum, from Greek paradoxon, from neuter of paradoxos contrary to expectation, from para- + dokein to think, seem
1 : a tenet contrary to received opinion
2 a : a statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense and yet is perhaps true b : a self-contradictory statement that at first seems true c : an argument that apparently derives self-contradictory conclusions by valid deduction from acceptable premises
3 : one that possesses seemingly contradictory qualities or phases
=========================================

Ah yes, Paradox… that wonderful club in Austin with those wonderful foam parties filled with 19 and 20 year olds…. But for now, let us focus on meaning of paradox # 3. America, to me is a nation of innumerable paradoxes and double standards. And they are prevalent in everyday life.

For years, America has taken pride in being an ownership society. You can buy just about everything over several years on credit (houses, cars, plasma TVs, porn magazines, etc.). If you are an individual that is. You see, for all the fuss that is made in American for being an ownership society, if you are a business you are much better of leasing something than owning it. Airlines lease almost all of their aircraft (and the ones that own their aircraft are the ones wallowing in Chapter 11). Amtrak owns about as much of the track its trains run on and crash off as I do worldly possessions (not that much) – Amtrak leases over 90% of its tracks from railroad companies like Canadian Pacific, Union Pacific, etc. Buildings with companies names on it – yup, long term leases. It’s crazy – no business actually owns anything but individuals are expected to?

Thursday, March 16, 2006

A Rather Good Week....

So a lot of things happened this week in a rather random way. In of themselves, they are not that great. But when you put them all together, it seems like it was a rather good week after all.

First of all Jon Stewart called Sharon Stone a Vaginist. Yes, a Vaginist. In response to her trip to Israel. Now, I have no idea what or who a Vaginist is – but if I had to pick one I probably would pick Sharon Stone. Take that Vagina Monologues (your vagina may be pretty and all that shit, but no… it is not a vaginist).

I had toast for breakfast. Nothing fancy. No mocha-frappa-summa-crappa-latte. No fancy fillings (sausage product not real sausage, cheese product not real cheese, egg product not real eggs… you get the idea). Just plain old wheat bread (2 slices of), toasted, and buttered (yes, real butter). I cannot remember the last time I had it. It was absolutely DEVINE.

It turns out that Sepp Blatter has a brain after all. This was the same man who once said that female soccer players should play in – how do I say this politely – tighter & skimpier outfits to boost sex appeal. Finally FIFA decided to get serious about racism in football by finally instituting a policy of deducting points from clubs that failed to curb racism. I think they finally understood that a €600 fine on a club that fills a 45,000 seat stadium twice a week is probably a worse insult than whatever racist abuse they were chanting. Dock points, relegate them, make them play behind closed doors (no TV revenue or gate receipts) – maybe now they will start getting serious.

While on the topic of football – Ronaldo is losing it. Really fast. Bring back the Ronaldo of old – he has got at least another 5-6 years in him (he is only 29). And Liverpool did not deserve to win 5-1 against Fulham – it was one of the ugliest, most uncreative football games that I have ever seen in my life. And I have seen quite a few of them.

YOU KNOW IT IS A WEIRD WEEK WHEN I HAVE SOMETHING GOOD TO SAY ABOUT JESSICA SIMPSON. Hats off to her for not agreeing to promote her charity (Operation Smile – they perform free cleft lip surgeries) at a Republican fundraiser. I think politicians should stay away from charities. Having watched several episodes of Newlyweds, I never thought that Jessica would turn out to have some brains after all. And DAMN SHE IS HOT!!!!

YOU KNOW IT’S A REALLY WEIRD WEEK WHEN I HAVE SOMETHING GOOD TO SAY ABOUT GEE-DUB-YAH. So yes, I have to give credit where it is due. I never thought the day would come when the only person in the entire US Government I agreed with would be George W. Bush. I respect him for standing up for free trade and pushing for the DP World ports deal to go through.

On a completely different note, just because there was a company named DP World involved with the ports deal, I am willing to bet that before too long there will be a porno out with some fine double penetrating action of some middle eastern looking porn star. Mad, mad, mad props if it turns out to be a gay film.

YOU KNOW THINGS ARE GETTING FREAKY WHEN, IN THE SAME WEEK, I HAVE NOTHING DECENT TO SAY ABOUT THE DEMOCRATS. First the Dubai ports deal (you brainless xenophobe). Free trade is part & parcel of capitalism and by extension the American way. At some point, someone will start doing something better than you (India with outsourcing, China with manufacturing, Japan with cars, Dubai with heavy transportation, etc.). Stop whining and get used to it. And then… oh yes, and then came the censure motion. Lets not even go there, you gutless imbeciles.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

I Want My Ed Murrow

We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. We must remember alwaysthat accusation is not proof and that conviction depends upon evidence and due process of law. We will not walk in fear,one of another. We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason if we dig deepin our history and doctrine and remember that we are not descended from fearful men not from men who feared to write,to associate, to speak and to defend the causesthat were for the moment unpopular. This is no time for men who oppose Senator McCarthy's methods to keep silent, or for those who approve. We can deny our heritage and our history but we cannot escape responsibility for the results. We proclaim ourselves, indeed as we are the defenders of freedom wherever it continues to exist in the world but we cannot defend freedom abroadby deserting it at home. The actions of the junior Senator from Wisconsin have caused alarm and dismay amongst our allies abroad and given considerable comfort to our enemies.





















Good night, and good luck.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Mohammedan Cartoons Redux

By now, I am sure we are all familiar with the Mohammedan cartoons that were published in a newspaper in Denmark and all the resulting hoo haa across the Muslim world. What is not told in the Muslim world is that the copies of the cartoons that were passed around to incite the masses contained caricatures that were inserted by the very Mullahs that wanted to incite the masses. But that is a story for another day.

Now, according to a report in the WSJ, they are agitating in the south of France over the readings of one of Voltaire’s works which puts a negative spin on the Prophet. Muslim leaders have made statements, youths have agitated, and cars and tires have been burnt. In other words, standard operating procedures for rioting in response to a piece of work that you do not agree with.

For [insert religious figure here]'s sake, this is Voltaire. No one in three hundred years has accused of lying or making up facts. And in all fairness to Voltaire, he ripped the Church (both of them) and organized religion in general. But above all he preached tolerance, the separation of church and state, and the right to freedom of expression. The philosophies & tenets he wrote about form the cornerstone of today’s thriving political societies (read: secular democracies. And yes, they are better than authoritarian or religious states). And let me just state for the record that I have no idea why a majority of the religious states are Islamic and that I also lump Israel & Nepal in the same bucket of apeshitedness.

For all his writing he was banished from France by the then Catholic king and he spent the rest of his years in Switzerland (yes, they have been petrified on the fence for that long). It was wrong then. To agitate over the reading of a philosophical treatise (by Voltaire no less) in the 21st century would only show that we have learnt absolutely nothing in the better part of 300 years.

I think the need for secular governments in today’s world is stronger than ever, if only because there is an increasing level of conservative influence in all our governments. This is the case in many of the world’s strongest democracies such as America, India and large parts of Europe. What separates them from an ideological state is that when someone says something that insults their beliefs and is patently stupid is that people don’t go burn shit up.

There will always be a lunatic fringe in any type of society. In a secular state, when then lunatic fringe goes apeshit in America (think Pat Robertson, Jeb Bush, etc.), I can turn to the legal system for recourse. I don’t believe that Timothy McVeigh or murderers or rapists deserve to live; but they too have the right to a trial by a jury of their peers (with the possibility that they may be acquitted). In ideological states, it is impossible to get recourse of any sort when it is the lunatic fringe that is calling all the shots.

For example, there is this play called “Jerry Springer: Opera” which portrays Jesus Christ as a homosexual man who runs around in diapers. Plenty in the lunatic right wing of the American political system think that homosexuality is evil, the work of the devil and just as blasphemous. And then there was this case about an author who wrote a brilliant book about Mohammed having multiple wives and running a brothel. Of these, the author is the only one who lives under political asylum in the UK and walks around with a security detail provided by Scotland Yard. Because none of the other lunatics ever incited the masses to take up violence and cause mayhem & death.

All I am saying is that is that people have the right to say whatever it is that they want to say; you may not agree with them and may call them [insert derogatory adjective here] (you have the right to do so), but please don’t go burn shit up.

Sit down, have a cold one (or a green one considering that St. Patty’s is just around the corner), crack some really insensitive religious jokes, and laugh over them.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Dreams Redux

I sleep with my windows open. Yes, even in the winter. Especially in the winter because I like the feeling of sleeping in a cold room under a warm comforter (I think I have the bestest comforter ever). So last night I was sleeping with the window open and in my boxers only (this particular piece of information is relevant later on).

And this guy shows up on the outside of my window in the middle of the night. He is all rastafarian and stuff, mon. And I ask him what the hell he is up to - and he tells me that he is standing on the ledge outside and cleaning all the windows. And I am like OK... keep cleaning away because a clean window is a happy window (and we all knw what happens when windows are not happy). So he cleans away and I pretend that I am dozing but am really keeping an eye on him because I dont want him to creep into my house under the pretext of a happy window.

When all of a sudden there is this huge blood curling scream from the 2 storey tall dumpster next to where the rastafarian happy windown man is. There is a kid in there (well, really more like a 19 year old freshman kid) who is sitting there with a blue blanket tied around his face and screaming that he cannot remember who he is. Crazy rastafarian and crazy Indian sleeping in his boxers (me) are wondering what to do.

In the meantime, his friends who live upstairs come down to my apartment after hearing their friend scream his lungs off. There are three of them. And one is really drunk. Like really, really drunk. So one of us comes up with the bright idea that the best way to cure her drunkeness is to stick her face in one of those vicks vapor inhaler things (I am pretty sure I lost everyone who grew up in America on that last one). So we sticker her face in the vaop inhaler thing and go upstairs to these other guys' apartment.

Turns out the guy who was screaming his lungs out in the dumpster just smoked a little too much of the good grass. One of the girls who was there raelly liked my tatoos (I have two on my back) and the way she looked at me I did not mind too much that these guys had me up and about in only my boxers in the middle of the night.

We went back down to my place. The girl with her face in the vaporiser was going all blue around the mouth. So we kicked her out. I do not remember what happened after that. And I do not what happened to the crazy rastafarian happy window guy.

All I know is that I dream some crazy shit. Seriously.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Sigh.. it has been a while..

So its been a while. Since then a lot of things have happened. I am supposed to be running a half marathon in May in the lovely city of Vancouver. I have managed to train somewhat regularly for the past three weeks (hooray for downloadable thingies from the internetssssss). I have even amazed myself.

Imagine for a day that you were walking around with Tourette's syndrome affecting everything that you did.

I digress. The weather has been all finicky of late. And I learnt the past Saturday morning that sometimes even Manchester United-Liverpool games are just not worth the elements. I stepped out at 6 AM on Saturday and the temperature was fricking 3 below zero (it may be a football game with a round ball, but the temperature in Chicago is still measured in fahrenheit). And that was before accounting for 20 mile per hour winds. Quite possibly the coldest day of my life. And United Lost. But the auto show cheered all that up.

Fricking shizzle likcking butt munching turd heaping mudblood. Worse than mudblood... a slitherin (sp?) mudblood. Nincompoooooooooooooooooop!!!

I was watching Striptease the other night (well, not really watching, more like flipping channels when I came across it). But I caught it at the start. I don't know about you but the first song in the movie (not the first one she dances too... the one that is playing as they flash the names of half the production houses in Hollywood at the start of the movie)... anyway.... that song sounds an awful lot like the theme song for the Ameriprise Financial ads.

Pad prik kaw kaw up your pad see eeeeew. Turdbelching prairiedogging hairball. Pad see eeeeww eeeeww eeeeeeeeewww!!

I made Chicken yesterday. It was positively YUMMY. I marinated it for a whole 24 hours (yogurt, olive oil, cayenne pepper, groud cumin, salt, pepper & some lemongrass flakes). First I thought of simply grilling it because that would taste so YUMMY. But then I decided to make some sort of a chicken curry out of it because that is like sooo YUMMY. But then I decided against that also - instead i dumped some peas, carrots, potatoes & tomatoes into a big old pot along with some vegetable stock and a whole bottle of wine (some Chardonnay) and stewed it for about three hours. YUMMY!!!!

I also discovered two restaurants in Chicago over the weekend. TAC Quik (Thai / Chinese) on Sheridan just north of Addison and Ba Mien (Vietnamese... I mean, it is in Vietnamese town) on Broadway just north of Argyle. Both, rather delicious and affordable (new year's resolution is to discover new restaurants in Chicago).

So, in thinking of a picture for this post, I needed something that would be hot (to account for Demi), hot (to account for the chicken / Asian food), and red (to account for my beloved Manchester United). I give you....HOOTTERD



And the 2007 Infinit G-35 thrown in for good measure because it is just so damn sexy...

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Mine Away... m'daahlings

With reference to the following article:

http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/0209/p01s02-uspo.html?s=hns

Gist of article - US Government wants to mine public internet sources in much the way they have been "mining" phone calls

Osama Bin Laden Al Qaeda Hamas Chechnya Ayman al Zawahiri Jose Padilla Hezbollah Khalid Shaikh Mohammed Mohammed Atef Mohammed Atta Ramzi bin al-Shibh Abu Zubaydah Abd al Rahaim al Nashiri Abu Musab al-Zarqawi Jamaat-e-Islami Fidel Castro Sandinista Fatah Zionist Conspiracy Jihad Abdelkarim Hussein Mohammed Al Nasser Abdullah Ahmed Abdullah Ali Atwa Abdul Rahman Yasin Saif Al-Adel Ibrahim Salih Mohammed Al-Yacoub Anas al-Liby Robert William Fisher Diego Leon Montoya Sachez Victor Manuel Gerena Uday Hussein Qusay Hussein Saddam Hussein (who, incidentally is the only other person not named Jerome Bettis to have keys to the city of Detroit...I am not kidding)

Mine away biaatch!!!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Mohammedan Cartoons

I do not like religious fundamentalists. I hate those who try to curb free speech even more. The price of living with the right to free speech (and, by extension, the freedom of expression) is that once in a while you will say something that will royally piss off one group of people. On rarer occasions, the you-know-what will hit the you-know-what. Frequently those occasions involve religious fundamental groups.

Like the one time this guy framed a cross behind a glass container filled with urine in the name of art. It was, in my opinion, a really stupid piece of “artwork” – but I am willing to concede that since art is in the eyes of the beholder, there are those that may have genuinely considered it visionary, a masterpiece, etc. Except the Christian right went all ga-ga and goo-goo on that one. Or Pat Robertson’s comments about Sharon’s stroke being an act of God and what not – profoundly stupid but still, he is entitled to his opinion. Plenty of Jews & Israelites were offended nonetheless. Or the time when the stupid Hindus in India went apeshit over a movie that had some homosexual content. Everything, at some point pisses off someone. Much like the cartoons in the Danish newspaper have pissed off just about every Muslim nation in the world.

Maybe we should just close down the Danish newspaper that published these cartoons and solve all these problems

While we are doing that, why don’t we shut down Al Jazeera offices in the western world because those al Qaeda tapes they play are offensive to some. Along with those offices, let us also shut down Pat Robertson’s TV station in the US (someone or the other hates Christian fundamentalists), cancel Jon Stewart’s nightly political satire show (the politicians in the US hate it), Playboy & Penthouse (those pictures have got to be offensive to some men and women – personally, I enjoy them), Hunting magazines (because the animal rights activists don’t particularly like them), the Animal rights magazines (because the hunters do not particularly care for them), Conservative publications (because liberals get offended), Liberal publications (because conservatives go nuts at them), American football magazines (because EVERYONE but the Americans knows that football should be played with a round ball and feet), the Wall Street Journal (because the Communists hate it’s capitalist viewpoint)….

Well, you get the point. Just about EVERYTHING is offensive to SOMEONE.

Freedom of speech & expression is what allows for a free exchange of ideas and allows the best ideas/viewpoints to float to the top (kind of like the market). Re-publishing those cartoons was a fairly stupid decision. Violent reactions are probably just as stupid.

What separates the rational from the truly apeshitheaded is that the normal ones don’t kill other people in the name of “protesting” or religion (this applies regardless of which religion you practice).

No - I will not promote traffic to this blog by simply re-posting the caricatures here.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

The Corporatization of Middle Earth

(a.k.a. Character Similarities between the Lord of the Rings and the Corporate World)

===================================================
As I write this, I realize that this may be a somewhat lengthy post. Consequently,
I reserve the right to break it up into more manageable pieces (say three). I
promise you though, this will not take 9 hours to read.
And we’ll skip all that Elven singing and dancing.

This entry has been updated on Feb 7th - you don't have to worry about 3 parts.
===================================================

Fundamentally, we have to understand that Lord of the Rings (henceforth, LOTR) is about characters. In just the way that the corporate world is about characters. And oh, what characters they are.

The SME
SME is a consultant concocted word for Subject Matter Expert. Kind of like Gandalf. Think of them as people who have been around for so long that they are pretty much the only people who know some shit is done. And they rarely tell you everything they know (some of which could be really important). How convenient is it that Gandalf never tells anyone that he has one of the rings (well – the movie doesn’t tell you this, but if you skip the first ten thousand pages of the book and read the last ten you will figure it out). At the same time, however, people will always turn to the SME for help / advice (Gandalf, how do we combat this? Where do we go? Etc.).

The Behind the Scene CEO (power suit optional, pointy ears a plus)
Behind every business venture, there is a great leader. One who knows all the nitty-gritty details of running the show, but one who also quietly stays behind the scenes. One who wields an enormous amount of power and has the ability to make the right decision at crucial times. Enter Elrond – who always seems to make the right decision at the right time.

The Boss’ Hot Daughter
Typically played by a blonde. But once in a while they can actually be kind of competent and contribute to the overall goal of the venture. And sometimes they can be downright hot as well. But just once in all the ages of mankind (middle earth included) the two combine for Elven perfectness. Presenting Arwen.

Since I own this blog, I am inserting the gratuitous Liv Tyler pic this blog deserves.




The Promising Mid-Level Manager (who is well on his way to a promotion)
This is the guy who is the future of the company. Sharp, talented, enthusiastic and a born leader. He is the one everyone turns to when things start to go wrong (and he escalates as appropriate to either the SME or the uber-CEO). The future is his – he only needs to step up and show that he can do it (which he does). Plus, chances are he will bang the boss’ daughter on his way to the top. Presenting – Aragorn.

The Studly Business Analysts
These are the guys who do all the work when everyone around them decides to provide them with “operational support”. They will move heaven and earth, climb over mountains, ford through rivers, endure bitter weather and battle evil monsters to “take one for the team”. They never give up, often working long hours with little food or entertainment of any sort. Other not so studly business analysts look to them for guidance (and to do all the work). Presenting Frodo Baggins & Samwise Gamjee.

The Not so Studly Business Analysts
These guys are just here for the ride – the free booze at company parties, the free happy hours and all other social things. They rarely do any work, preferring instead to sit back, relax and smoke a pipe. Kind of like Merry & Pippin.

The Consultants
These guys never do anything on their own. What they can be counted on to do, and do reliably, is to take what someone else is already saying they should do, and do it somewhat efficiently. If you are looking for real thought leadership, this is not necessarily where you should be looking. But if you want some resources to get things done on time and somewhat above expectations, these guys will do just fine. Now, there are two types of consultants – the old school ones (who don’t necessarily dress all that well but get the job done) and the new school ones (who go to great lengths to maintain good appearances and still get the job done – the metrosexuals, if you will). In keeping with this theme, please welcome Gimli and Legolas.

The Blumbering VP
This guy has no clue as to what is going on. Chances are he appears as if to have just woken up from some deep trance and decided that things have gone wrong (when, in reality, things have been in a steady decline for the past several quarters). Now his job is on the line. So, he decides to fix things his way (bad idea). He is stubbornly resistant to outside ideas and thinks his way is the right way till things start to go apocalytically wrong – then he steps aside to let those who know what to do take charge. Somewhat like Theoden.

The Evil Consultants
Also known as the consultants that you are not working for (i.e. every other consulting company). They are, by definition, evil. They are of two kinds – the VP kinds (a.k.a Evil Vice Presidents) and the BA kinds (a.k.a Evil Business Analysts). Stay away from them at all costs – in the same way that you should stay away from Saruman & Wormtongue.

The Token Hot Chick
You know it – every project has one. For no apparent reason that we need them. They have token roles most of the time, are usually hot as hell (sometimes in a girl next door kind of way), but do occasionally rise to the occasion to deliver the decisive blow on the corporate battlefield. Much like Eowyn.

The Other Evil Company
This is the company that wants to rule the world (well, more realistically, the same market that you are operating in). They will stop at nothing to control the entire market. They will bully, tempt or bribe you to have their way. They are the masters of information and know about every little thing that happens within their domain. They have vast resources and are willing to throw everything including the kitchen sink at what they perceive as “the problem”. They also have a huge army of workers who have been specially trained to do the one thing that their corporation wants them to do – and they do it well. They want nothing short of absolute control – just like for every Google there is a Microsoft and for every mom-and-pop store there is a Walmart. They are mean. They are, like Sauron and his army of Uruk-Hai.

Note: The “Evil Consultants” typically work for the “Evil Company”

The Bartender that Everyone Knows
You know how much of a booze fest corporate America can be. There is this one bar (say with a name like Galloping Steed) that all the “it” people go to when they are done with work. Primarily because the booze is cheap and maybe because hot college chicks frequent the joint hoping to meet sugar daddies (was that voice in my head or was that my aloud voice?). And at this bar there is the one bartender who everyone knows and who – in turn – knows everyone. Just like Butterbur.

Admit it – you did not see that one coming. Oh yes, I went there.

The Hedge Fund Managers
These are the really evil ones. Yours is a publicly traded company with all of the earth’s resources at its disposal. But you are still at their mercy. They are complete opportunists seeking only their best interests and are willing to do anything to earn a tidy profit. They answer to no one but themselves (another reason why hedge funds should be more closely regulated… sorry, I digress). The closest analogy in the LOTR world is the ghost soldiers that Aragorn calls upon to help him. It doesn't work too well - then again, hedge funds weren't all the vogue till about a dozen or so years ago.

The White Collar Criminal:
These are the scum of today's corporate world. All they are interested in are filling their own pockets and they will go to any means necessary to achieve it. They will make up lies (like Ken Lay) or make up fancy stories (like Andy Fastow) and are just generally slimy. And people do not realize that they are crooks till everything has gone up shits creek. Kind of like Gollum.

The "Infrastructure":
This refers to the general scum - not part of the company but the hired guns. They will strike viciously on your enemies and are fiercely loyal to you - as long as you keep paying them (or have some other hold on them). They are ugly. They are loathesome. And no one wants anything to do with them except the head honcho on the top. Kind of like the Nazgul.


So there you have it. All the characters from the corporate world and how they would turn out if they were dropped smack bang in the middle of Middle Earth. Almost like Tolkien was a visionary or something. He could be the the "uber-consultant".

Today’s “Overrated / Underrated
Overrated: The big ass eye / Underrated: A shire party
Overrated: Those Nazgul things / Underrated: Gandalf’s moth fetish
Overrated: Liv Tyler / Underrated: Miranda Otto
Overrated: Gandalf / Underrated: David Copperfield
Overrated: Orlando Bloom / Underrated: Elijah Wood

Friday, January 20, 2006

And Now Starring Himself: Christopher Columbus – Cock-up Navigator Extraordinaire!!

I have climbed the highest mountains
I have run through the fields
….
I have run, I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
….
But I still haven’t found
What I am looking for
But I still haven’t found
What I am looking for
=============================

How many times in a day does one stop and go “What if….”? What if we had never discovered atomic bombs? Or electricity? Or if Walter Camp hadn’t decided that the forward pass really was worth having in football? Or if Hitler had decided that a peaceful democracy was the way to go? Or if Christopher Columbus had actually discovered in India?

You see, for all that it is celebrated to be, Christopher Columbus’ “discovery” of America is nothing more than one of the biggest navigational cock-ups in the history of the world.

The modern day equivalent would be Brian Urlacher forcing a fumble, picking up the ball and returning it all the way into his own end-zone for a safety. Or Ronaldo latching on to a sublimely weighted ball from Kaka before doing an about turn and taking it 90 yards back and slipping it past Dida. (You pick whichever football analogy works best for you).

Christopher Columbus set off from Venice (approximately 12’E) because no one else would finance his at that time cockadoodle idea to find India. The first place he landed at, he called India. The first people he saw, he called Indians. Truth be told, Columbus did not even set foot in modern day America – he landed in the Bahamas (approximately 75’W), explored the rest of the Carribean and then left. So much for him “discovering” America. Admittedly, there is a Delhi in New York state (ZIP: 13753) but that doesn’t even begin to cover up his cock-up.

He was right in his central premise about the world being round. Therefore he must have known that if he traveled west and came back to Venice from the east, he would have traveled through 360 degrees (i.e. one standard revolution). Obviously, people at that time knew about degrees and navigation [note: People at that time knew about degrees and navigation – Columbus did not]. How Christopher arrived at his startling conclusion after traveling through less than 90 degrees of longitude, only he knows.

So it deeply bothers me Columbus is thought of as such as great explorer. It pains me even more that Columbus Day is celebrated as a federal holiday. You know the Indians did not declare 1992 the Pentacentennial anniversary of Columbus’ intentions of finding India. Let us just call it like it is – Columbus’ “discovery” was one of the biggest cock-ups of all time and should be called just that.

Signs of the Apocalypse #1:
I have way too much time and am coming up with all sorts of conspiracy theories / what-if scenarios. What if Major Applewhite has a stellar 3-4 years as OC at Rice, then joins the Texas coaching staff where he has another stellar 5-6 years, and eventually succeeds Mack Brown as Texas’ head coach?

This has been a very weird Chicago winter. First of all it doesn’t get cold till late last year (it was 45 when I returned from my Thanksgiving break). Then it doesn’t get too cold during the winter at all (I think we had one cold week). Now its back in the 40s – supposed to snow this weekend, but nothing much beyond that. Weird, I tell you. This global warming thing has gone too far.

Can someone please take Mayor Ray Nagin to task for the profound horseshit that he has been spitting out? As an alternative, consider the fallout had Trent Lott (or any other white guy) suggested that they should rebuild a cream Mississippi.

Signs of the Apocalypse #2:
I still have way to much free time. What if Texas wins out the 2006 CF season and finishes as national champions for a second time (for those of you counting, win streak is at 34). Then, it wins out the 2007 season and the 2007 Big 12 championship (for those of you still counting, win streak is now 47). Would you rather play USC and teach them how to three-peat, or would you play OU and show them what it feels like to have the longest winning streak in NCAA history?

Today’s “Overrated / Underrated”:

Overrated: Business Class / Underrated: Premium Economy
Overrated: Bordeaux / Underrated: Beaujolais
Overrated: London / Underrated: Scotland
Overrated: The Olympics / Underrated: Road Rules vs. Real World
Overrated: Google / Underrated: Wikipedia

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Allez Cuisine!!!!

I must admit. The food network is one of my favorite channels on TV. And Iron Chef is one of my favorite shows on TV for a variety of reasons.

First, the sheer culinary skill of these contestants is stupefying. I personally like to cook and am blown away by most of the dishes that end up being prepared. Second, the sheer variety of “secret” ingredients is kind of cool (in the past week I have seen – sturgeon, salt, Chinese cabbage, and some other stuff that I cannot remember). Third, you got to love the cheesy dubbing – right down to the fake laughs.

But at the end of it all, I must say, I strongly prefer Iron Chef America to the original Iron Chef. It’s just more realistic of a show.

First of all, they use ingredients that I can actually find in my supermarket. Meaning, that I have a better than snowball’s chance in hell of actually attempting to replicate these dishes in my small but functional kitchen. I can find pizza dough, piranha, lamb and pork. I cannot find sturgeon, some weird eel that grows only on some weird island in Japan, or fugu, or some other fish that lives about 7000 miles away.

Secondly, Iron Chef America does not have chefs adding foie gras and truffles to any dish that they feel like. Honestly, I am yet to see what all the fuss is about foie gras (truffles, I will admit do impart a nice aroma just the way basil does). And yes, I have ranted about this before.

Third, those on Iron Chef America do not feel compelled to use the ice-cream maker just because they have one at their disposal in kitchen stadium. Really, no one should be making ice-cream from asparagus, tuna, sturgeon, or anything else that is (A) a vegetable and (B) was once a living thing. Ice-cream should be limited to sweet, chocolaty, fruity stuff. Yes, I have also ranted about this in the past.

Fourth, I honestly believe that the original Iron Chef is rigged. They win way too many of those battles for this to be a truly honest competition. Plus, the Iron Chefs always serve their dishes second – which means that their food would be foremost in the judges’ palates when they are dishing out points. I am not hatching out a conspiracy theory – just raising a possibility.

Rachel Ray could be my ideal wife. Actually, I think Giada de Laurentis would be better (definitely hotter). Shit, I'll take them both. We would have so much fun... truly redefine menage a trois.

I think we will keep with the culinary theme for this week’s “Underrated / Overrated”:

Underrated: Salt & Pepper / Overrated: Emeril’s essence
Underrated: Bobby Flay / Overrated: Emeril
Underrated: Ginger / Overrated: Posh
Underrated: Tuna / Overrated: Most shellfish
Underrated: Searing / Overrated: Sautéing

Monday, January 16, 2006

Downright MBDAW....

so sgt. pepper took you bysurprise
you better see right through that mother's eyes
those freaks was right when they
said you was you was dead
the one mistake you made was in your head
how do you sleep?
ah how do you sleep at night?
===================================

This was a sleepless night. For no apparent reason. I went to bed at a reasonable hour (10:30 or so). I do not have a flight at some ass-crack-of-dawn hour – so no need to worry about waking up for the alarm. So why then did I wake up at around 2:30 in the morning? Only the man up there knows. But, here is what has happened so far today:

January 16, 2006; 2:30 AM
Arise, awake, toss and turn, try to go back to sleep, arise, still awake….

January 16, 2006; 2:45 AM
Start flipping channels. “Poison Ivy: The New Seduction” was on HBO. Given the title, you must understand that it is very much a B-rated T&A movie. So, obviously I watch. Net net – Jamie Pressley is kind of hot when naked (in a skanky kind of way).

January 16, 2006; 3:30 AM
I text message my friends all the way over in India asking them to call me because I know that they are (A) jobless, and (B) awake. They do not respond. Maybe I have no friends.

January 16, 2006; 3:50 AM
“Poison Ivy: The New Seduction” has ended. Still flipping channels. Surprisingly, I find out that I now have access to stuff such as Cinemax, Shotime, Starz, TMC and Encore. Yay! More channels to flip through.

January 16, 2006; 4:00 AM
I come across Executive Decision. A movie I saw when I was 17. Its got Kurt Russell (yawn) and Halle Berry (yay!). Maybe its just me, but Halle looks decided more hot today than she did 8 years ago – don’t get me wrong, she looks hot even them, its just that she is downright gorgeous now. Plus the movie has a group of terrorists flying a biological bomb laden Boeing 747 into a major metropolitan area – why does that sound eerily familiar?

January 16, 2006: 5:50 AM
In case you missed it, the President did not have to make an executive decision. Kurt Russell takes out about 2 dozen single engine aircrafts while landing the 747 – everyone lives except the terrorists and the two American pilots – come on, some white guy had to die – might as well be the unionized pilots. Oh yeah, he gets to bang Halle at the end of it all.

January 16, 2006: 6:00 AM
I am making an executive decision. Getting out of bed, brushing my teeth, making myself a cuppa, and updating my blog.

Considering that its been a 4-hour day already for no apparent reason, its going to be a downright Miserable Bloody Day At Work.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

National Champions!!

Tickets to LA: $235
Hotel in LA: $120
Sneaking into the Rosebowl the year Texas wins it all - PRICELESS
==================================================

And for a whole year too! The Texas Longhorns are college football national champions. Still recovering from it. Only fitting that the font for this post be colored burnt orange.

Still can't believe Vince went pro - but no grudges there. The guy earned it. And lets face it, he will go on to do a lot better than the last player to leave Texas early - Kwame Cavil (who is languishing somewhere in the CFL right now, I think).

At first I thought I should title this post "How to Sneak into a Natioanal Championship Game", but then, I decided to defer to my Horns'. They deserve this so much more than anyone. But, if you wanted to sneak into the game, this is how it goes down:


  1. Find a friend with tickets
  2. Convince this friend to go enter the stadium and pass his tickets back to you
  3. Find a dumpster / other secluded place behind which to make the exchange
  4. Make the exchange when the bombers are flying overhead (you know, the ones that fly overhead right at the end of the national anthem). Do not look down when making the exchange; maintain eye contact with your friend and pretend you are just having a conversation.
  5. Wait till kickoff (sorry, you are going to have to miss kick-off if you are sneaking in)
  6. Right after kick-off, rush up to the turnstiles, hand the guy your ticket and keep walking through - you are in a hurry because the game has already kicked off
  7. The ticket guy will then call his supervisor who will then inform you that the ticket has already been scanned
  8. At this point, take a deep breath (this is important) - and tell the supervisor that you had an asthma attack and had to go back to your car to pump yourself back to normal. At this point, also start praying that he does not ask you to show your pump.
  9. The supervisor will stare at you with a look that says "I know you are shitting me with this whole asthma thing"
  10. You respond with a stare that says "I know you know that I am trying to shit you with this whole asthma thing"
  11. He will then hand the ticket to you and say "Get the hell out of here!"
  12. You are now in the game. Enjoy it like you have never enjoyed any other game before.
  13. As a souvenier, ask a person from the losing team for their ticket stub (remember, you do not have a ticket). Asking politely and without trash talking will help your cause.
  14. Repeat in Tempe in Jan '07

Other random thoughts from a truly wonderful season:

  • Mack Brown is now the winningest coach of the past 10 years (something like 80% of his games). And a national championship to boot. Not to mention a whole lot of other monkeys off his back. Shit, we should have given him his contract extension a lot sooner.
  • In the same period, USC has the same number of BCS National Championship trophies as the Texas Longhorns - 1. So, its good that the whole 3-Pete thing got laid to a rest.
  • Speaking of 3-Pete's, I have a T-shirt purchased at the Rosebowl that says "USC Trojans - 3 Time National Champions" - I wonder how much that will get me on E-Bay?
  • I guess the Heisman debate has been settled (should have gone to Vince). But I bet Vince took sweet pride in striking the Heisman pose with the National Championship trophy.
  • Vince Young is close to God in my mind.
  • I am not a very religious guy - but if Vince Young were to start his own religion, I would convert.
  • Can we just name the field at the Rosebowl the "Vince Young Field"? 900 yards of offense in two games in one field should get you some sort of naming rights.
  • I wish we could play all our away games at Kyle Field (our "other" home field)
  • Shoot the Aggie who was controlling the scoreboard at the Rosebowl - who had the audacity to display "USC Trojans - 2006 National Champions" at the end of this year's Rosebowl.
  • I have never been greeted by more strangers than when I was wearing my beloved Burnt Orange in the days after the Rosebowl. Hook Em'!
  • The national championship was enough to get Ashish Joseph to get on this whole blog thing.
  • We got our faces painted and everything for the tailgate - end result? Our photo has been published in Horns Illustrated!
  • You have got to admire two friends who show up in LA at 3 in the morning and then knock on room 712 of the wrong hotel. The conversation went somewhat like "Dude, open the door, we've been knocking"... "Dude, I am standing with the door open - you are not here"... "Which hotel are you staying in?"

Finally, a note to the folks at ESPN:

Never, ever, ever, ever run a Greatest Team of All-Time series until the game is played

This time, there is no debate about the pictures that you get. Hook em'!

Monday, January 02, 2006

Pet Peeves..

OK.. so here is the deal.. new year and all, and here is to hoping that some of these things do not happen in the coming year... honestly, there is no reason why these should happen at all.

Iron Chef:
Now, we all know that Kitchen Stadium is one of the most impressive kitchens around. It boasts just about every kind of condiment that you could possibly use and just about every kind of utensil that you could ever think of using. Which leads me to my next point. Just because there is an ice cream maker over there doesn't mean that you have to use it. I have seen asparagus, crab (yes, crab - as in the eight legged crustacean) and cheese ice cream. May I re-iterate that ice-cream should be sweet and be either chocolate or fruit flavored. Asparagus, crab and cheese just do not cut it. No. Really, they do not.

Iron Chef part deux:
While we are on the topic of Iron Chef, may I take a moment to distinguish between Iron Chef and Iron Chef America. I have tremendous respect for both the shows (I mean, where else would you find 10 different dishes prepared with pizza dough within an hour - baked, boiled, fried, grilled and braised)... but one thing about the original Iron Chef annoys me... Foie Gras cannot be your kitchen equivalent of the Italian word "prego"... Foie Gras should only be used in goose or foie gras battles... any other time, it is a cop-out... oh yeah, its not that great either

Did anyone see Doug Flutie score off a drop kick?!?!?! This is like fricking rugby - I did not know you could do it in football. Mad props where they are due.

Memoirs of a Geisha:
Sucked. Really, why make a movie about Geishas (concubines) and make it a PG-13 movie? You have hot women in the leading roles. Would it be asking too much for a bit of a peek?? Movies like this remind me of Titanic - expressive and well made but filled with mediocre acting. If you want to talk real movies, lets talk Munich and Syriana

BTW... as I found out at a predominantly Japanese party I attended over the weekend... Syriana sounds a lot like shyriana... the Japanese word for "@$$hole"... I shit thee not.

Net-Net:
I will not stand the utterance of another instance of "Net-net"... or "at the end of the day"... niether will i "hunker down" and listen to you saying "I hear what you are saying, but..." (I know that is just a euphism for "you are talking bovine excrement")... thank God, however, that "metrosexual" has dropped out of favor

Jerry Rice:
Why on earth is Jerry Rice doing "Dancing with the Stars"?!?!... I mean, this guy has just about every record for wide receivers in the NFL and there is a great chance that he will have those records for the next 200 years (i.e. before the next coming of Bill Walsh and a west coast offense)... this guy defines LEGACY.... does he really have to do "Dancing with the Stars"?

Reggie Bush:
a.k.a #619... honestly, I do believe he is a very talented running back / all purpose back.. the 8.9 yards per carry do not lie... but when was the last time he face a real defense... a PAC 10 defense does NOT constitute a real defense... OPEN BET ALERT: Reggie bush will be held to less than 60 yards when the Trojans play the Longhorns... If I were a Longhorn, I would be more worried of Lendale White - a much better "up-the-gut" runner... here is to hoping that Reggie has such a pathetic performance that he drops from being the sure-fire #1 2006 NFL draft pick

btw... did anyone tell you... defense wins championships... which is why I am picking my Horns to win it all... I also wonder how < http://www.firemackbrown.com > and < http://www.gregdavissucks.com > are doing

Mr. February:
Here is to hoping that Gene Chizek & Vince Young stay with the Texas Longhorns (in that order)... Mack Brown has a heck of a recruiting job to do with the guys who are already on board.

Bob Stoops building a legacy:
It really pains me to say this... a lot... but Bob Stoops is building a Bill Walsh kind of legacy in college football... out of the Stoops camp Mike Leach, Mike Stoops, Mark Mangino, and Chuck Long have already become head coaches elsewhere... Brent Venables is not far away from doing the same... you got to love a program where a coaches' assistants are getting a step up to the next level year after year... poor sooners, is all I can say.

This is it.. I am off tomorrow for the Rose Bowl... I will see you again when the Longhorns have won their fourth (and this time unanimous) National Championship.... Go 'Horns Go!!!

This time around, you get the 'Horns... no question about it.

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Is it too much...

Another day, another year comes to a close. But to what avail. Thousands dead, millions injured and probably an equal number born. Another notch in the calendar of life. Which reminds me of a girl I know who has a little caption on her IM saying "you are just another notch on my bedpost". Ah yes, the world is still spinning.

Is it too much to ask for it to stop, but for one second. Just have everything ripped out of our lives and flung deep into space (literally). Is it too much to ask for life to happen the way you like it - for everyday things to go well and not have to deal with Walgreens and for the people you love to love you back. Is it too much to ask for the simple ability to go to bed and wake up the next morening and find that all your problems have ceased to exist.

I used to like somebody. And then I stopped talking to her. Now it is just awkward.

Datgum.

Wherever you all are this New Years eve, have fun, be safe. And most importantly, pull for the Longhorns come Wednesday.

Cheers. And a happy new year.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Simplicity is key...

I admit. I play favorites. We all do. But above all, I have two favorites. Favorite economic theorems, that is.

You see Milton Friedman, a famous economist, once remarked that a good theory "explains a lot with a little". And that is what these theorems do. They are remarkably simple, yet they explain so much and form the cornerstones of large tracts of economic theory. They are easy to understand and have powerful implications. You see, quite simply, simplicity is key.

My first favorite economic theorem is something that everyone learns in economics 101 and then goes on to take as fact in all their remaining economics classes - a simple statement which says that profit maximizing behavior occurs when marginal costs equal marginal benefits. It seems like a simple enough statement, but large areas of economics are modelled after this very statement.

Just about every theory of firm behavior (be they perfectly competitive or a monopoly) uses the MB=MC axiom. Just ask an IO fellow. Or anyone who has studied anything about resource allocation. Or any anti-trust lawyer. Or any game theorist (payoffs and punishments are equivalent to marginal benefits and costs, respectively). Or anyone who has ever conducted a CBA (which is nothing more than developing a method to quantify costs and benefits to identify at which point a particular venture is profitable). As I said, simplicity is key.

My second favorite axiom is the Coase theorem, which is also supremely powerful. It states that in order to reach an optimal outcome, one need to do nothing more than assign property rights. Once these rights are assigned, the market will find a way to ensure an optimal outcome. Strip this axiom back a level, and it essentially says that by assigning property rights, you are assigning responsibility for various economics goods and services. Strip it back another level, and you will see that (in a twisted kind of way) that the Coase theorem proves that the market works. That, in economics, is very powerful.

So yes, there you have it. My favorite economic theorems. Logically, an Economics Overrated / Underrated must follow:

Overrated: Fed Funds rate / Underrated: Currency markets
Overrated: Development economics / Underrated: Free trade
Overrated: The trade deficit / Underrated: A balanced budget
Overrated: John Nash / Underrated: John Harsanyi
Overrated: Adam Smith / Underrated: John von Neumann

Today, you get Famke Jansen. You also get Sir Mick.
Both were economics majors.


Monday, December 12, 2005

Dreams

Dreams can come true
Look at me babe I'm with you
You know you gotta have hope
You know you gotta be strong
=========================

For the record, I am sober as I write this (a little bored at work, but otherwise sober as the day I was born). All that is written here is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help me God.
===========================================================

So this past week has been nothing short of a blast for me. The quality, and clarity of my dreams has been rather astonishing. I am dreaming such vivid dreams and seeing them is such true color that it is like watching the original matrix on HD. Amazing, really.

In the past week I have gone on a club hopping experience where the number of clothes I lost was directly proportional to the number of clubs I visited, I dreamt part deux of a dream I dreamt a long time ago, and dreamt a rather dramatic dream. First, the club-hopping experience.

This time I was back home in Kenya having a blast because all my friends from the US were visiting. Of course, as any strapping young lads would do on a Friday night, we decide to go clubbing. See, Nairobi has a pretty small expatriate community – which leads to a lot of the same people seeing a lot of the same people with fair regularity. So, we go to this club. And we party. And for some reason when we leave that club I am not wearing a shirt.

And then we go to another club, which has an outdoor dancing area. So we all start to dance the night away. And we all get soaking wet. Like we just took a shower in the Niagara falls wet. So, as any rationale person would do, I decide to lose the jeans, the socks and the shoes. So, now I am standing here (well, there) in my boxers [the yellow Express ones with blue and white stripes] with a pair of flip-flops for footwear, and just about nothing else.

So, S-dawg comes to the rescue. Takes me to a discount garment store in the middle of the night [you know those discount garment stores in Nairobi redefine discount]. And I am walking through looking for clothes and sweatshirts without a care in the world. At the end of it, I picked up a blue Carmello Anthony basketball jersey and walked out wearing it. No bottom-wear but for the boxers. And then I woke up.

Signs of the apocalypse #1:
Manchester United are out of the Champions League – I mean, this used to be a given. The way you wake up every morning is a given. Mon deus.

Dream number 2 requires some context. Several years ago when I was in college, I developed a huge crush on Gwyneth Paltrow that I carry on till this day. At one point during the infancy of this crush, I dreamt that I was making out with Gwyneth with Coldplay in the background (the significance of this, obviously is not lost on Gwyneth or Coldplay fans). Needless to say, I walked around campus the next day with the stupidest smile on my face. Fast forward to circa December 2005.

What I mean is, Gwyneth visits me in my dream with what I think is baby Apple in hand. Only later do I find out that it is not baby Apple. It is my baby. Apparently I had one with Gwyneth. So, as any honorable man would do, I offer to marry her. She accepts. And we move to Hollywood where I am made fun of by the media because I am like the second coming of Cletus Federline. I just think they are all jealous because I am sleeping with Gwyneth and they are not. Well, at least Cletus is not.

Signs of the apocalypse #2:
Amitabh Bachan (the Indian Sean Connery) is gravely ill (perhaps on his deathbed, depending on which gossip magazine you read).

Dream number 3 is fairly dramatic and for the most part devoid of any humor. I have an argument with a good friend of mine (for some stupid reason, which I do not remember). And then she says she won’t give me any more massages. Or cook for me. I mean, this is just positively-fucking-ridiculous – no rub-downs and no food. We are not on talking terms any more. The less said about it, the better.

Signs of the apocalypse #3:
People cheating on their significant others. Well, if this really were a sign of the apocalypse, it would be National Apocalypse Day every day. But even then, it is just something that bothers me. If you have the balls (ovaries, whatever) to do it, break up before you cheat on someone. If not, don’t do it. I don’t like cheats (not quite the scum of the earth, but about 37% above it).

For now, though, lets get back to my dreams. I do not know why I have started dreaming with such clarity in the recent past. Maybe it is a sign of things to come (in which case, let me start dreaming about the best stock picks). But with dreams this vivid, screw that HBO shit that costs me ten bucks a month.

Overrated / Underrated:
Overrated – Pricey resorts / Underrated – A good youth hostel
Overrated – The first time w/ someone / Underrated – The first kiss w/ someone
Overrated – Reggie Bush / Underrated – Vince Young
Overrated – Ginger / Underrated – Baby
Overrated – The New York Times / Underrated – My Blog

This time, you get Gwyneth.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Duty, Honor, Country... Sir!!!

ESPN should not be in the business of making movies. Actually, they should not produce anything other than games and sports news programs. If I see one more trailer for that stupid cheating at West Point movie (Duty, Honor, Country... Sir!!!) I'm just going to have to do my duty and preserve the honor of this country by personally making the trip to Bristol, Conn. and talk to the ESPN dude who decided to make this movie.

I have some friends (from the University of Texas) who remember the dark days of the program (think 4-7... ). They claim they used to say things such as "We'll get married when Texas wins the national championship".... well, my 'Horns are one game away from doing just that. It kind of feels a little surreal - all season you could talk trash about "Bring on USC!" and now USC is here. And they have 4 weeks to prepare (well, so do we). And they have a kick ass running game - which scares me a little bit. This should be a cracker of a game.

My call? Texas by about 20 points. One, because the Texas defense can be that good. Two, because Texas has shown that it can score on offense, defense and special teams (just ask Colorado). Three, because of this player named Vince Young who just happens to play for Texas. I have a sneaking suspicion he will be snubbed for the Heisman and will come back motivated to play in the National Championship game. Like he needs any of that motivation stuff.

Is it just me or is David Letterman decidedly not funny? I say kick the old guy off and put on Craig Ferguson - who has a much, much better show. Its a pity though that he comes after Letterman in the middle of the night (actually, the next day, depending on where you live). Of course, if I had anything to do with all of this, Jon Stewart would have an hour long show.

Apologies to Charlize Theron for even thinking about dropping her from the hottie list because I saw too many trailers for her movie. I saw AeonFlux this weekend. Actually a pretty decent movie. Go check it out. And yeah, Charlize gets naked (once) but runs around in a skin tight suit all day long.

Random blast from the past: Islands in the Stream by the Bee Gees (yes, they did sing a version of the song). And all this because of a middle of the night argument about whether or not the Bee Gees covered the Dolly Parton song.

Signs of the Apocalypse #1: The Red Bull Upsell
So Brazillian bars and clubs have this wonderful system where you dont pay for drinks when you buy them. Instead you have a card on which the bartender writes down what you have ordered. And you pay once at the very end - a great system if you ask me. What is annoying is that a Red Bull costs as much as an alcoholic drink in of itself - so instead of paying about $6-$7 for an ordinary drink you would end up paying close to $15 for any drink with Red Bull in it. Bloody annoying. And bloody expensive. Of course, it took us about three nights of partying to figure all this out.


This week's Overrated / Underrated:
Overrated: Charlize Theron in Monster / Underrated: Charlize Theron in AeonFlux
Overrated: Copacabana / Underrated: Ipanema
Overrated: Flying business class / Underrated: Deplaning early & being first at immigration
Overrated: Italian women / Underrated: German girls
Overrated: Reggie Bush / Underrated: Vince Young
(sorry, the last one was a plug)

I am officially on the beach now. Meaning I have nothing to do but surf the web all day long. And get some reading in. Because reading is fun. And its a pity that more people don't do it. I think I'm going to get me read on... Biatch!!

Here is your gratuitous Charlize Theron pic of the week:

Friday, December 02, 2005

All hail education...

I was bruised and battered and I couldn’t tell
What I feltI was unrecognizable to myself
I saw my reflection in a window
I didn’t know
My own face
Oh brother are you gonna leave me
Wastin´away
On the streets of philadelphia

=================================


Yesterday was World AIDS day. All of you, when you go shopping to buy that special someone that special something that they absolutely must have this Christmas, take a minute to think about those who will not live to see another day because they succumbed to AIDS. Then, take a minute to think about their children - who often will not survive into their teens. Now, carry on with your shopping. If you can.

Honestly, education is the best weapon against AIDS. Teach people about safe sex (a condom still is the most effective barrier to AIDS - no pun intended) and you will curtail people from passing the virus around. Take education a step further, maybe someday somebody will discover a cure for AIDS or cancer - all because some 10 year old kind was absolutely fascinated by genes and viruses and bacteria in his biology class.

This whole abstinence thing... not happening. Ask the people who preach it themselves (i.e. the far right and the catholic priests) whether they practiced it (i.e. avoided premarital sex). My guess is that amongst the former group, the numbers would be in line with the national average and with the priests... well, we all know how the priests had their ways with the young boys ...Shit!!!... now they are homosexual too?... how can they be priests? How can they?!?!?

We now have a plan for victory. Along the lines of the much trumpeted plans for a manned mission to mars in the next 15 years that the President (not Reggie) announced a couple of years ago. Like I said, we now have a plan for victory.

Sign that there is a God #1:
Dell is selling a computer system for $300 - that is borderline ridiculous. Now what is it going to take for some philanthropist to buy a bunch of these computers and start donating them to the less privileged (in the US, in Europe, Latin America, India, China... wherever; just donate them).

Signs of the Apocalypse #1:
Isn't there a rule somewhere that college mascots must have something to do with the team that they represent? Exhibit number one is the University of Akron, whose mascot is Zippy the Kangaroo. Yes, a Kangaroo. An animal that is not even found in this hemisphere (regardless of whether you look at the US as a Western or Northern hemisphere team) and is frequently considered a menace where it is found (Australia). And, I bet that most people in Ohio have no idea what a Kangaroo is. Zippy the Roo?!?!? Give me a fricking break.

Signs of the Apocalypse #2:
If is see one more trailer for Aeonflux I will have to consider dropping Charlize from my hottie list. That, is unacceptable.

Add Brazil to my list of countries visited. Now, all continents have been visited (Antartica is not a real continent - regardless of what anyone tells you). Pictures are available at http://spaces.msn.com/members/mukundphotos

I'm in love with Brazil (the country, the people, the women, the food, the women.... and did I mention, the women). I'm seriously considering a New Years trip.

In the spirit of Brazil, you get two gratuitous pics this week. Lima and Bundchen. I can't make up my mind ...both??...together?? - a man can still hope.... :=)



Ciao

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I say pond (snail), you say die Spitzschlammschnecke

Actually, I say pond, you say der tiech/tumpel/weiher. Yes, I have spent an awful lot of time in Germany for the past couple of days.

I just got back from my trip to Munich yesterday and all I can say is... wow! Munich is a very cool city, perhaps one of the best that I have been to. It had everything to offer from delectable produce markets to fairytale castles to lots of wurst to yes, even more beer. But every time I go to Europe, the differences between the eastern and western shores of the Atlantic become more and more obvious. There is good on both sides, and there is not so good on both sides.

But first; Munich's beer drinking lion vs. Chicago's artictic cows. Discuss, citing specific examples (you have 20 minutes).

vs.

I am tremendously impressed by the rest of the world's worry with not worrying. About the future that is. At the youth hostel I was staying at I met people from all over the world who were astonished that I was taking a 4 day vacation. Meaning that I was taking far less vacation than most of the others out there. Most of the people I met there were in their early to mid-20s, and all of them were travelling for months together. Just hopping from place to place (Prague, Corfu, Belgium, Interlaken, Bucharest, Napoli,.. the list is endless) till they get bored with each place. Or till they run out of money - in which case they just get a job at wherever they run out of money and save up till they can move along.

Makes me wonder just what the hell it is I am doing worrying about things like the beach and billable hours and 401(k) contributions... blech. Somehow in America we tend to worry ourselves about our future and saving up and getting good credit and all these things that will help us with our retirement (which, realistically, is about 45 years away). So here is an honest affirmation, to travel more, and worry less about my future as a whole.

On the whole, Munich was great. You cannot argue with a place where you can get so much good beer so cheap. Oh what beer, and how much of it!? You also have to like a place which has fairytale castles just an hour and a half outside. And any place that is easy to walk around and is served well by public transport is a good place. And German women... lets just say they are hot.

Obligatory fairytale castle entry of the week goes to Schloss Neuschwanstein. It was built by the Bavarian ruler Ludwig about 2 hours south of Munich and close to the modern day German-Austrian border. It served as the inspiration for Sleeping Beauty's castle.


But there are somethings that I just do not get about Germany. The fixation with boiled meat for instance. They have every kind of sausage possible, all very tasty on their own with the single problem that they are all boiled. I mean, just thrown that weiner on a grill (charred crispy on the outside, thank you very much). Or, that boiled cut of steak - yeah, I did not get it either. You've discovered fire and cooking, why on earth do you have to dampen it with water?

I was also disappointed with the Deutches Museum's insistence on explaining everything in German. I mean, I understand I am a tourist and I do respect local language, customs, etc. I will always try to order my food in the local language and try some of the local delicacies (I may not like them, but at least I tried them and made that decision). But somehow, and this is just a hunch, I think that my touristy German is hopelessly inadequate to understand a German description of the intricacies of fluid dynamics or how a jet engine works. The Deutches museum is a wonderful museum (comparable to the Smithsonian or the Museum of Science & Industry in Chicago) - but some translations. Please.

All said and done though, Munich definitely get two thumbs way up. My top 10 moments / experiences from last weekend (in no particular order):

  • The first liter stein of beer that I have had in a long, long time (Augustiner Helles)
  • Wurst, Bier and fruits for lunch at the Viktualienmarkt
  • Chinese Pagoda beergarden in the middle of the English Garden in the middle of Munich, a German city. Quite cosmopolitan, really.
  • Billy from Dallas who is doing the whole Semester at Sea thing telling me that I didn't really seem like an Indian because I did not "... do the Indian head nod thing...". Classic!
  • Any conversation in a bar that begins with the girl telling me "Nice arse you got there" in the cutest Australian accent I have heard in a long time.
  • German girls are hot. And they aren't all blonde haired & blue eyed.
  • Playing the "Roxanne" drinking game. Essentially you take a big gulp of beer everytime the word Roxanne is mentioned in the song Roxanne. If you have ever heard that song, you will realize just how easy it could be to finish a liter of beer in seemingly very little time.
  • Rocking away to Rammstein at Babylon (in eastern Munich)
  • Augustiner Biergarten - check. Hofbrauhaus - check. Spatenhaus - check. All in one night - check.
  • Ending up in sex world after #2 and #3 at 3:30 AM with 4 australians, 3 germans and and cockney lass

In true German spirit, gratuitous Claudia Schiffer pic of the week:

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Keano, Giggsy, Fletcher & Scholesy

Together they represent Ireland, Wales, Scotland & England. But more importantly, they play for Manchester United. Whom I love. And support (and have supported for about a dozen years so no crap about me being a fair weather fan).

And I saw them this weekend playing against Chelsea. Oh it was the United of old. 10 passes upfield in under 10 seconds. Tackles flying in (tackle of the year goes to Alan Smith for his wonderful dispossesion of Drogba about 15 minutes into the game... it was all ball, and he started the tackle about two yards behind Drogba while running at full clip). Two or three people closing down a Chelsea player about to take a strike. Switching the ball from sideline to sideline and back to sideline #1 in about 4 seconds (that lead to the goal) - people just dont appreciate switching the ball as much as they need to.

All said, my money is still on United. I'm thinking shades of '99. Except I would love to beat Chelsea for the Premiership, Arsenal for the F.A. Cup and that other team from the Northwest for the Champions League (you know which one, you scouser).

We need another treble.

Still annoys me that Wigan sit at #2 on the table. Wigan Athletic. Really? Why????

Dear Yumyum, I miss you.

By the way, if you think the Premiership is just another football league, you really should consider some of these lyrics:

Build a bonfire
Build a bonfire
Put the Scousers on the top
Put City in the middle
And we'll burn the fucking lot

(oh yeah, that gets sung by about 65000 people about thrice every fortnight - kids and all)

Or, consider:

He's only a poor little scouser
His face is all tattered and torn
He made me feel sick
So I hit him with a brick
And now he can't sing anymore!


(yeah, that one too gets sung by 65000+ people, but probably with a lot more vengeance)

All violence aside, the season is back on. College football till January 4th, Premiership after that. Life is good. :)

This week's Overrated // Underrated:

Overrated: Christmas // Underrated: Indian festivals (firecrackers, weed drinks & good food)
Overrated: Jennifer Garner // Underrated: Keira Knightley
Overrated: London // Underrated: Edinburgh
Overrated: Manicures // Underrated: A good eyebrow waxer (mad props to Linda)
Overrated: Green Day // Underrated: Franz Ferdinand

Gratuitous Jordan (Katie Price) pic of the day - no, those aren't real:


Off to Munich, see you on Tuesday if I am not neinmaxweissbieredout.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Life can be annoying...

Stacey's mom DOES NOT have it going on and No, I would not do anything for love (such as stick my face next to a can of Dr. Pepper while sticking my butt three feet in the air) - Dr. Pepper commercials have got to change. And don't even get me mana-mana-ing...

Signs of the apocalypse #1:
Wigan Athletic is sitting second in the Premiership. 4 points clear. 3+ in goal difference. And having played as many games as everyone else. I know its only November and there are still 25+ games to be played but if this holds they could be playing in Europe next year. Crazy. Almost like Utah playing in a BCS bowl... wait, that did happen.

But as we found out today, Chelsea are mortal. No, really... they are.

Cal fans should really (REALLY) get over that "snub" from the Rose Bowl committee. First of all, its been nearly a year. And second, Texas was the better team. Still is. If you had beaten Texas Tech, you could have complained - but since you didn't....

Tickets to Pasadena have been booked.

Signs of the apocalypse #2:
Will Smith has a "Greatest Hits" album out

I am in the process of generally updating and re-organizing my music (all 4431 songs) on my new iPod. In the process, I realized just how much crap (shit, merde, poop... whatever) I have. A sampling:

Seal - Kiss from a rose
La Bouche - Mr. Vain
Nikki French - Total eclipse of the heart
Gloria Gaynor - I will survive

The list could go on, but that would only cause more embarrassment.

Signs of the apocalypse #3:
I have 14 backstreet boys songs.

Overrated - Any team named Notre Dame
Underrated - Any team not named Notre Dame

Overrated - Reggie Bush
Underrated - Lendale White

Gratuitous Keira Knightley photo of the day:



Peacing out and wot not...

You heard it first....

10:15 AM CST, 11/6/2005
=============================

Now that the whole "Va Tech for Rose Bowl" hype has been laid to a rest, Texas should pick up a bunch of points in the AP and Harris polls.

USC opponents UCLA and Cal lost this weekend. Texas opponents Colorado, Texas Tech and Kansas won. Here is to saying that the Horns move back into the BCS #1 spot when they are released on Monday (11/7) evening.

You heard it first.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Cyberspace Personal Text Improverator

So I walk into a Bank of America the other day. All I wanted to do was stop at the ATM and get some cash (the thing that is a store of value and is used as a medium of exchange). What do I get instead? Rock star treatment - kind of annoying, really. I walked in only to be accosted by four people (yes, 4) all of whom said "Good Afternoon!! Welcome to Bank of America!!! How can we help you?!?!" before I had walked two steps into the branch. I must say, some consultant had to be behind this.

Because that is what they do. Go into a perfectly functioning business because some incompetent mid level manager cant hit his or her numbers and believes that bringing in consultants is the right thing to do and that it will solve all their problems. And the consultants spend three (often more) months at a client site and come up with a three part solution.... like Customer Experience Enhancement... or... Production Function Improveration... or... you get the picture... it's ... its almost like they have a three column list of words from which they "choose" a solution. Noun-Transitive Verb-Verb. Strange. Really.

If I have to conduct that workshop (dont ask me which one) for one more day, I am going to have to tell my client that they have nincompoops for employees.

Priceless college football moment of the week:
Dick replaces Johnson for Nutt against the Cocks (actually, Arkansas QB Casey Dick replaced Robert Johnson for Houston Nutt against the South Carolina Gamecocks... it was a lot funnier without the first names and taken out of context).

I'm going to Munich next weekend (Munchen Weekend Tripparator)

Signs of the apocalypse #1:
Bush ear-marks money for avian flu ($10 ante - he cannot spell avian)

Girls in burnt orange are hot!!! My friends in Los Angeles (you know who you are) need to work on putting me in touch with hot women who will dress in burnt orange for the Rose Bowl - I do not care who they support, just dress up in burnt orange

Signs of the apocalypse #2:
It is still in the 60s in Chicago... its the first week of November (I'm getting scared)

Under the pretense of a burgeoning artist, submit you senior thesis in wingdings font (i'm guessing it does not matter whether it is wingdings 1, 2 or 3).... under the pretense of an established artiste (note the addition of the "e"), submit the same thesis in size 1 font - congratulations... you just revamped the minimalist movement.

Signs of the apocalypse #3:
My blog has a regular audience... I have BLOUPIES (blog groupies)

This week's Overrated / Underrated:
Overrated: Notre Dame / Underrated: Baylor
Overrated: Jennifer Garner / Underrated: Elisha Cuthbert
Overrated: Steak / Underrated: Lamb
Overrated: Speyside malts / Underrated: Islay malts
Overrated: Jack Nicholson / Underrated: Bill Murray

Signs of the apocalypse #4:
Sushi being so passe that even gujaratis are indulging in copious quantities

I am now all gizmoed out.. i have an iPod and a digital camera... and I am off to munchen... dont be eifersucht...

frieden außerhalb

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

a...b...c

I went to the gym at 5:30 this morning... on my way over I saw about half a dozen rabbits... Chicago really does have a lot of rabbits... I wonder why more people aren't stewing

While on the treadmill I saw a truck that had the letters "Muki Construction" painted on it... haha...

I hate stupidity... and a lot of people I come across in life are borderline stupid for one reason or another... this cannot be good for increasing my social network..

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Not so great being a conservative now, is it?

You call yourself a Christian
I think you are a hypocrite
You say you are a patriot
I think you are a crock of shit
===============================

So let's review all that has happened in the past month or so:

Karl Rove (a.k.a Lucifer) gets called before a grand jury to testify for the fourth time about his involvement in the whole Valerie Plame affair. Unprecendented... kind of unexpected... and a whole lot worrisome that you would be called back to testify for a fourth time, especially as the investigation was "winding down". That has got to have quite a few people in the administration worried.

Stick with me on the Valerie case will you. Earlier this week the Washington Post broke a story about Dick Cheney possibly resigning (yes, you read correctly) because of his office's involvement with the whole Plame affair. If you thought losing Rove could be bad, this one is a disaster on the FEMA level.

And then there is this whole Harriet Meirs thing. I mean, forget the fact that she is Bush's current lawyer (for all practical purposes) and that she did not got to an Ivy League law school (she went to SMU, which remains a very credible institution) - those to me are secondary considerations. But at least nominate someone with some knowledge dealing with real constitutional issues and not just client cases (where you have to defend your client - even if he is a child raping, gay killing, traitor). I am not saying the Supreme Court nominee needs to come from the apellate court system - there are plenty of qualified candidates outside of those systems (legal scholars teaching in law schools across the country and lawyers for advocay groups like the NAACP or ACLU such as Thurgood Marshall). But the fact remains that they are qualified. Today, the senate judiciary committee sent back Harriet Meirs' questionnaire saying that her answers are "incomplete", "insulting" and "insufficient". The equivalent is my teacher returning my term paper to me with those comments (I would have got an "F"). This is not how you want a confirmation process to begin.

And then - this is the clincher - an arrest warrant for Tom DeLay. Oh yeah, very soon, there is going to be a mug shot of the dude. I'm sure the Smoking Gun will carry it. That picture will be posted on this blog.

There is a God after all. The evil empire is crumbling ... almost Star Wars-esque. Which makes me wonder, would I make a good Jedi knight? And if I were a Jedi Knight, which existing one would I most resemble?

Peace out people.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Rushdie's bitch, over-rated Kerouac, and moral fiber

I admit it, I read a lot. Fiction. Non-fiction. Periodicals. Websites. I think everyone should be required to read at least one book a month. It builds character. And moral fiber. In no particular order, here are some books that I think everyone should read.

If you must read a book about falling in love with someone once and having them fall in love with you three times, read the Confessions of Max Tivoli by Andrew Sean Greer. It is a story about love – the accepted love, the unaccepted love and the ultimate love. And it has a funky roadtrip to boot. What could you possibly not like about this?

If you must read a book about the very best and very worst of what mankind has to offer, read A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry. Superbly written, emotionally written. You will relate a lot to it if you ever spent time living in India – more so if you lived in Bombay. Its all about everything that is wrong with Indian but everything that is right about its people. It’s one of the *few* books that I have read multiple times.

If you must read one story about life in a village and how nothing & everything changes, and you want to read about alchemy and gypsies, rebels and prostitutes, read 100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Quite possibly, one of the best books ever written. Unless you count Love in a Time of Cholera – also be Marquez. Maybe one of the best love stories ever written.

If you must read one book about slavery and the south and that which is not talked about (Black slave owners), read The Known World by Edward P. Jones. Touching, human and heartbreaking. In my opinion, perhaps one of the best books about life in the deep south. Faulkner never did a lot for me – no stream of consciousness writer ever did. Not even Joyce.

If you must read books on war, then read The Things they Carried by Tim O’Brien and The Ghost Soldiers by John Krakauer… so were Vietnam & WWII really worth it?... Naipaul is a good writer but I don’t think anyone who is not from the post-colonial world will ever really associate with anything that he writes… he is also a very frank writer (not to be confused with condescending – saying that Indians defecate on the side of the road is a statement of fact, not wanton condenscion)….

Ditto with salman rushdie... While his mastery of the English language is phenomenal (I do sincerely believe that the English language is Salman Rushdie’s bitch), he remains an author of the post-colonial genre… and therefore will not appeal to a much larger audience in the way of a marquez or a Vonnegut (who by the way, is still alive… as I found out while watching the daily show about a month ago)… I still do think that Rushdie is a phenomenal writer and that people should read his books just because they are wonderfully written… and he will get an Alfred one day for just that.

Over-rated… under-rated

Over-rated: Kerouac…. Under-rated: Vonnegut
Over-rated: Jhumpa Lahiri…. Under-rated: Rohinton Mistry
Over-rated: A suitable boy… Under-rated: The golden gate
Over-rated: Faulkner… Under-rated: Huxley

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Things that make me go hmmm...

Did you ever wonder, when Jesus turned water into wine, what kind of wine was it? A bold, spicy Chianti? Or was it a crisp Chardonnay? Or was it a Merlot - only to have one of the many people gathered there yell out... "I will not - have - another - Merlot!!"? And in that case did he turn into something else... like a fruity Muscat? You see, history just doesn't capture all the details. Now, dont even get me started on what kind of bread it was that he was breaking (Foccacia? Ciabatta? Naan? Injera?).

Or did you ever wonder what it would be like to make a girl (or man, depending who you are and which way you go) fall in love with you three times? The same person, except he or she doesnt know that it is you again. And again. If such a story does interest you, may I suggest the "Confessions of Max Tivoli" - its a love story unlike any other. Equal parts youthful love and maternal love. How different, yet how similar.

Or what it would feel like to lift a national championship trophy? Or a world cup or anything of that sort. To be crowned the best in the world for that period. Personally, I think I would be happy with an Alfred or a Joseph (yes, if they were alive, I would probably be on a first name basis with Messrs Nobel & Pulitzer).

Ok... thats it... nothing more for now... probably something better tomorrow..

Monday, October 10, 2005

I hate Billy Bob Thornton....



I rest my case... :(

Priceless moments from OU weekend...

Boomer TCU, Boomer TCU
Boomer TCU, Boomer TCU
Boomer TCU, Boomer TCU
Boomer TCU, T C U

Texas, Christian
Texas, Christian
Texas, Christian
T C U, T C U

I'm a Sooner born
and a TCU bred
and when I die
I'll just be dead!

Rah, Texas!
Rah, Texas!
Rah, Texas! T-C-U!

(adapted from "Boomer Sooner"... this sounds better)
===================================

My list of priceless memories from OU weekend:

Chants of "Boomer!.. TCU!" from the middle of the OU section... absolutely priceless

Sooner Schooner horsey doing nothing but masticating all day long, as show below.


A quarterback who is nuts enough to think that the seating section is a mosh pit... and gladly obliges.... and yes, that is my face circled in red... this pic made either ESPN.com or the Statesman (cant remember which)


A coach who goes for it on 4th down. Twice. And once when only halfway up the field.

Shouting yourself hoarse

The final scoreboard...

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Hopes & Fears...OU Sucks... yatta yatta yatta

The lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Have brought me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead singing
==========================================

Early this morning, I wake up to my 6:30 alarm promptly hit the off button and go back to sleep. Little realizing that my sleep had only begun. And I dreamt... oh what dreams I dreamt.

First, some context.

This just happens to be OU Weekend. 100th meeting of Texas and OU (who happens to suck big time, just btw) and all. In Dallas. And I shall be making the trip south to Dallas for the game.

So I start dreaming:

  • First of all, imagine my dismay when I find out that tickets for the game are unavailable. This after the $532 I paid the dude I knew who could find me a ticket on eBay. And he tells me that tickets are not available. And that he does not have the cash to pay me back. What am I to do - he seems much bigger and stronger than me.
  • Then, I find out that some of my friends have managed to get spots in tour buses and mini-vans. So I go from "friend" to "friend" asking for a spot in their vehicle. Yeah, you guessed it, none of them had space for me. So I guess the tour bus / mini-van route is out of the question.
  • You also have to understand that in my mind, all this was happening early Saturday morning. So I think to myself, how about I just rent a car. And then I think some more to myself, its a bloody 16 hour drive (it really is) - there is no way I am making kickoff. So that option, not happening.
  • At this point I am in a state of utmost panic... and crapping my pants
  • Then all of a sudden, I see a whole bunch of buses pull up. They aren't just any buses. nooooo... they are APSRTC buses. What are APSRTC buses you ask me? Well, they are the buses of the Andhra Pradesh State Road Transport Corporation buses that ply their trades in the south east Indian state of Andhra Pradesh.
  • If you thought that was weird, imagine looking into the bus and seeing the face of Kartikeya Kejriwal - a fellow who was four years my junior at Doon and whom I haven't seen in about 8 years. I tell you, he was there.
  • So the buses are here, you think I would be ready to go. No. They are APSRTC buses. And they do not have air conditioning. And I have lived in Texas enough that air conditioning falls in the same category as air & water (vital for life). So I passed on the buses.
  • So what happened next?

I woke up. Panting. And realized that I have a round-trip Chicago-Dallas ticket on ATA airlines. My travel plans are sorted. I breathe a sigh of relief... and set about text messaging people and telling them about my dreams.

OU weekend is happening.... yeah, its that big.

Mukund

Sunday, October 02, 2005

CF & I.... like BFF!!!!!!!!!!

Texas, OU, Bama, Notre Dame, Ohio State, USC and Penn State are all coming back to prominance (& dominance)... maybe, just maybe, we are going back to the glory days of college football?

I think Kirk Herbstreit has the best job in the world with College Game Day

ABC's coverage of the Texas vs. Missouri game was quite pathetic. Lets list the numerous gaffes:

  • First of all, they show Missouri as having 2 time outs left after they have used up 2 time outs in the first half
  • There was some stupid trivia question about "... who were the only three players to rush, pass & throw for 40+ yards..."... uh... pass = throw... we all knew what the question was getting after, but you really ought to be doing a better job in the graphics booth
  • This game is on gameplan. There is NO reason why you should threaten to take it away and switch to what was definitely a more interesting game. The reason people & bars are paying for gameplan is to get games that they otherwise would not have in their regions. And if you are going to cut away, dont cut to commercial - that is just plain retarded.
  • Oh yeah, back to the ABC graphics department which listed Vince Young of "TU" as having 192 yards in the first half... TU!?!?! please tell me you had an Aggie handling the graphics... if so the question remains, why?

my two cents

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Over yonder & hither.... boobies!!!

Kenya, India, the USA, Tanzania, Uganda, Ethiopia, Egypt, Zambia, South Africa, England, Scotland, France, Spain, Italy, Australia, Brazil (happening in November), Mexico….. 17 down, 13 to go, and 6 years left (I would like to visit 30 countries before I am 30). So I need to average a little over 2 per year for the next 5 years to make it happen. Now, wherever should I go next? Luxembourg sounds awfully tempting.

Washington DC, Maryland, Virginia, New York, New Jersey, Illinois, Texas, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia (yes, transiting in Hartfield International counts), Colorado, California, Alaska, Washington, Arizona, Wisconsin, Delaware, Pennsylvania, Indiana, Michigan, Iowa…. 27 down, 23 (or is it 24) to go… I would also like to visit each of the 50 states before I leave this country (or die… whichever comes first)… I am saving Hawaii for last; its an absolute shocker that I have not visited Boston (and by implication the state of Massachusetts)

Yeah, I have traveled a lot.

Tyra Banks underwent a mammogram on her show to prove that her tatas are real after kicking out the men in the audience. Blue balls. Seriously. I wonder how the conversation in the room holding the men went:

- “Man… if my wife knew what we were talking about… she would be crazy”

- “For real man”

News flash idiots. Your wife / girlfriend / significant other probably does know what you are talking about. The real question is, do you realize that she is actually seeing the aforementioned tatas while you are only talking about them?

I believe in some sort of medical coverage for the underprivileged. Be they in developed nations like France & the US or be they in poverty ridden countries that dot much of the rest of the world. An excerpt from an article that appeared in the NY Times today:


“… Dr. Waaldijk remembers one patient well. She managed to push out only her baby’s head before collapsing from exhaustion in her hut, he said. Her brother carried her, balanced on a donkey, to a road, where a bus driver demanded 10 times the usual fare to taker her to a hospital. She half-stood, half-sat for the trip, her dead baby’s head between her legs, her urethra ripped open…”

Those were just completely treatable fistulas. So really, I don’t give a damn if your excuse for not going out on a marvelous spring day is a “bad case” of allergies. No, really, I just don’t. Others’ have it worse – much worse.

Peace out and what not



Monday, September 26, 2005

Bakku-shan

===============================
Bakku-shan
A girl who appears pretty from the back
but not from front

From the pages of BBC.com
===============================

English is a rich and innovative language. But you can't help feeling we're missing out.
While English speakers have to describe the action of laughing so much that one side of your abdomen hurts (hardly an economical phrase), the Japanese have the much more efficient expression: katahara itai.

Of course, the English language has borrowed words for centuries. Khaki and croissant are cases in point.

So perhaps it's time to be thinking about adding others to the lexicon. Malay, for instance, has gigi rongak - the space between the teeth. The Japanese have bakku-shan - a girl who appears pretty from behind but not from the front. Then there's a nakkele - a man who licks whatever the food has been served on (from Tulu, India).

I'm trying to celebrate the joy of foreign words Adam Jacot de Boinod These fabulous examples have been collected by author Adam Jacot de Boinod into The Meaning Of Tingo - a collection of words and phrases from around the world. "What I'm really trying to do is celebrate the joy of foreign words (in a totally unjudgmental way) and say that while English is a great language, one shouldn't be surprised there are many others having, as they do, words with no English equivalent," he says.

Having pored over 280 dictionaries and trawled 140 websites, he is also convinced that a country's dictionary says more about a culture than a guide book. Hawaiians, for instance, have 108 words for sweet potato, 65 for fishing nets - and 47 for banana.

The German propensity for compound words pays dividends. Kummerspeck is a German word which literally means grief bacon: it is the word that describes the excess weight gained from emotion-related overeating. A Putzfimmel is a mania for cleaning and Drachenfutter - literally translated as dragon fodder - are the peace offerings made by guilty husbands to their wives.
Or there's die beleidigte Leberwurst spielen - to stick one's lower lip out in a sulk (literally, to play the insulted liver sausage). Perhaps it's a Backpfeifengesicht - a face that cries out for a fist in it.

The Dutch vocabulary, for instance, seems to confirm the nation's light-hearted reputation. The word uitwaaien is Dutch for walking in windy weather for fun. The Maori-speakers of the Cook Islands sound like an enthusiastic bunch: the word toto is the shout given in a game of hide-and-seek to show readiness.

Perhaps the Inuit notion of a good time must be, of necessity, a little more constrained. The long winter nights must fly by as they play a game called igunaujannguaq, literally meaning frozen walrus carcass. (The game involves the person in the centre of a ring trying to remain stiff as he is passed around the ring, hand over hand.)

But it's those fun-loving people in the Netherlands who should have the last word - the phrase for skimming stones is as light-hearted as the action: plimpplampplettere. The Albanians exhibit a strange fascination for facial hair. There are no fewer than 27 separate expressions for the moustache. Madh means a bushy moustache, posht is a moustache hanging down at the ends and fshes is a long broom-like moustache with bristly hairs. This hirsute obsession is not confined to moustaches. Vetullkalem describes pencil-thin eyebrows, vetullperpjekur are joined together eyebrows and those arched like the crescent moon are vetullhen.

Perhaps nothing so intriguingly displays differences between nations as the unusual occupations of some of its citizens. Geshtenjapjeks is an Albanian who sells roast chestnuts on the street. A koshatnik in Russian is a dealer of stolen cats. A kualanapuhi is a Hawaiian officer who keeps the flies away from the sleeping king by waving a brush made of feathers. In Turkey a cigerci is a seller of liver and lungs and the Danish have a fyrassistent - an assistant lighthouse keeper.
And Spanish speakers in central America have a description of a government employee who only shows up on payday - an aviador.

Which brings us back to de Boinod's title: tingo is an invaluable word from the Pascuense language of Easter Island meaning "to borrow objects from a friend's house, one by one, until there's nothing left".

This and that....

I feel like I should be posting something here but somehow that just doesnt seem to be happening today. I went for ACL Music Fest this weekend - lots and lots of fun. Franz Ferdinand puts on one heck of a show... too bad the weather forecasters got it waaaaaaaay wrong [rainy with 30mph wind gusts, vs. 110 degree weather with not a dry leaf stirring]. I'm still in Austin (working remotely today). OK... this is not working.

End post.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Roe v Wade...

so if a man and a woman touch all the bases and that
were to result in an error leaving them with an unwanted baserunner,
i will withhold judgment on whether they can
take that runner out of the game


Jon Stewart, host of “The Daily Show”
parlaying off supreme court nominee John Roberts’ many baseball analogies


=======================================================


Perhaps no Supreme Court ruling has divided America in the past three decades as the ruling in Roe v Wade. What many do not realize is that the divisiveness caused by the ruling will only increase in the years ahead. Don’t get me wrong, the Court’s opinion in Roe v Wade is perhaps one of the most brilliantly written opinions ever and a more thoroughly researched opinion probably cannot be written.

Contrary to what some may believe, Roe did not “create” a right to privacy. The right to privacy has always existed in the Constitution – indeed, it is impossible to protect the liberties granted by the Bill of Rights and the 14th amendment without inherently protecting the right to privacy. The fact that the Constitution does not expressly spell out what these liberties is not a failure but, rather, a testament to the foresight of the founding fathers. They saw that it was impossible to account for not only every liberty that existed at that time but also to ones that would arise several decades in the future (contraception, for example did not really become mainstream till after World War II).

What Roe did accomplish, however, was to add one specific, divisive issue to the list of liberties guaranteed by the 14th amendment. I do not believe this to be a wrong decision, but we have to accept the fact that Roe put abortion on the list of allowed liberties just as Griswold put a married couples’ right to contraception on that list and Brown struck down segregation. It is an issue that has successfully withstood numerous challenges in court, but it is inevitable that as time progresses abortion laws will become more stringent precisely because of the specifics of the Roe v. Wade opinion. At this point, it would be worth noting that at its heart, Roe v. Wade contains three fundamental tenets:


".....First is a recognition of the right of the woman to First is a recognition of the right of the woman to choose to have an abortion before viability and to obtain it without undue interference from the State. Before viability, the State's interests are not strong enough to support a prohibition of abortion or the imposition of a substantial obstacle to the woman's effective right to elect the procedure. Second is a confirmation of the State's power to restrict abortions after fetal viability if the law contains exceptions for pregnancies which endanger the woman's life or health. And third is the principle that the State has legitimate interests from the outset of the pregnancy in protecting the health of the woman and the life of the fetus that may become a child. These principles do not contradict one another; and we adhere to each...."
Planned Parenthood of S.E. Pennsylvania v. Casey
U.S. Supreme Court, 1992

Additionally, the court also goes on to say that:

"...The trimester framework no doubt was erected to ensure that the woman's right to choose not become so subordinate to the State's interest in promoting fetal life that her choice exists in theory, but not in fact. We do not agree, however, that the trimester approach is necessary to accomplish this objective. A framework of this rigidity was unnecessary, and, in its later interpretation, sometimes contradicted the State's permissible exercise of its powers..."
Planned Parenthood of S. E. Pennsylvania v. Casey
US Supreme Court, 1992

In a nutshell therefore, the court concludes that a woman does have the right to an abortion provided the abortion occurs prior to the fetus becoming viable. Furthermore, given the contentious nature of the topic, it goes on to say that while the trimester system designed to establish some approximation of viability and state vs. personal control is not perfect, it is a necessary evil as it exists today. The opinion almost hints that should a better option become available, then it would scrap the trimester framework in favor of the alternative. Arbitrary as it may seem, the trimester framework, at the end of the day, does delineate when viability begins and, perhaps equally importantly, at which point the fetus is completely non-viable. It really is the second trimester that is in a completely grey area – and that is where things become decidedly more complicated.

It is no secret that there have been tremendous advances in all areas of medicine over the course of the 20th century. There is also no reason to believe that the rate of these advances will slow down – indeed with new technologies like nanotechnology, genomics, bio-informatics, etc. becoming increasingly viable chances are that the rate of advance in medical technology may actually increase.

It is logical then to assume that these technological advances will have an impact on the field of obstetrics and more specifically on the ability to save premature babies at earlier points in time. I do not have facts on this, but I am willing to bet that prior to the World Wars, the chance of survival for premature babies was extremely low. Now a days, even a 4-5 week premature baby is hardly cause for concern (sure, the kid may have minor problems like asthma, etc. but in the grand scheme of things, these remain minor problems). The world record for the earliest born baby that survived was one that was born a 128 days premature back in 1998 – given a normal human gestation period of 39 weeks, that baby was born smack in the middle of the second trimester. I have a four year old niece who was born 10 weeks premature and is as normal today as a four year old can be. It is only a matter of time before medical advances roll back the point of viability.

What then can prevent the state from further regulating abortions in the second trimester and making it more difficult for women to obtain one? The answer, quite simply, is nothing. The very same landmark rulings that grant a woman a right to an abortion are the very same rulings that concede that at some point abortions need to be regulated and are also the same rulings that set up an arbitrary system of doing so. Within that arbitrary framework, there are plenty of opportunities (such as advancements in medical technology) that would completely – and legally – support greater legislation. I am not saying that is what I want – all I am saying is that is what will happen (maybe not next year or the year after that, but almost certainly in 15-20 years).

An argument pro-choice advocates have made in the past is that a fetus is not a living thing and that it does not have feelings – therefore abortions do not cause it pain or harm. That would be a fine argument to make as long as it is an argument that could be measured in the remotest sense of the word. It would also probably justify abortions in (say) the eighth month of a pregnancy and there is just something about that which feels inherently wrong. There is no objective way to measure the feelings of a “thing” that at some point during pregnancy has most of the bodily functions of an adult human being but of whose cranial abilities we know nothing about. One may refute that by saying that one day in the near future, advances in science would allow us to measure objectively whether a fetus feels anything or not. I will concede that – but no technology that exists today can shed light on that topic. And till such a technology or scientific test is available, that argument remains as unverifiable as Schroedinger’s cat.

My two cents (well, maybe more this time… but cents nonetheless).


Random notes…

I know the above piece was fairly lengthy and probably not well written, but maybe I should state my position for the record. I remain pro-choice – but at the same time I also believe that abortion is something that should be regulated. I do sincerely believe that the existing trimester framework is a piece of art (God bless Robert Blackmun) and is about as fair a compromise as could have been reached on the issue.

I also believe that part of what demonizes the abortion issue is that too many women want to use Roe v. Wade as a proxy for abortion on demand. You cannot possibly reduce the right to have an abortion to the same level as the right to privacy that allows you to jack off to Playboy in your bathroom. Regardless of all the legal precedents and considerations, you have to accept that the issue of abortion is an extremely unique issue accompanied by a lot of religious, moral, ethical, emotional and legal considerations. This is why it is ok to have things like parental notification for minors (not the same as parental consent – because you can bet your sorry ass that if I was 15 and screwed up by taking drugs or something, there would have consequences at home)

This is probably the only thoughtfully researched piece that I have written…. Do not expect these kind of articles to become some sort of favorites.

Merde!!!!

So the topic of this posting (before we get to the random juicy tit-bits) is shit. Pure and simple fecal matter that is ejected from the tail end of our alimentary canal. More simply, we will focus on the quality of different shits, and how that is affected by the cuisine and type of shit we eat.

To put it simply, I find myself extremely regular and happy when I am on a sustained diet of Indian food. This is not to be equated to the dump one would take after visiting the local Indian restaurant one weekend. Rather, this should be likened to the kind of dumps you have when you go back home and are eating Indian food for a majority of the meals. These dumps are characterized by a sense of immense satisfaction after the deed is done, and it also usually entails a complete cleaning of the pipes. I do not believe that just pure spice has anything to do with it – its just that with Indian cooking a lot of things come together in the right sort of way.

This is decidedly not the case when I am living by myself and on the road. Don’t get me wrong, I eat good food (not to be equated with junk) and plenty of fiber (some kind of fruit for breakfast, a salad at either lunch or dinner, and some sort of vegetables – not potatoes – with dinner) but somehow they are just not coming together in the same manner. Oh well, what can you do.

Can you tell that at times I am inspired by the blasé-est of my most random thoughts….

Random comments collected from various sources:


================================
screw the buckeyes, they would have to play alquaeda for there to be a chance I'd root for them Friend & Michigan alum, on the Texas vs. Ohio State game

=================================

X: tit?
Y: about it
X: i like tit
Y: me too
X: good
Y: see how much we have in common
X: were clear on that one
Y: lol
X: i like my own a lot
actaully
Y: as if there were any doubt
i'm not going to comment on that one
X: i think they are the best ones ive EVER seen
Y: i've never seen....
so no comment
X: no comment required
Y: lol
X: :)
Random IM conversation
====================================

Oh, and please, if you voted for George Bush, I think you are categorically denied the descriptors, "intellgent" and "kind."
Found on the internet, forwarded by a friend

==================================

“The team that scores more points is going to win the game tonight”
Mark May, delivering his pearls of wisdom as a college football analyst on ESPN

==================================

Tyra banks has real breasts
Revealed on her talk show

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

22 Questions for John Roberts...

The following is an excerpt from the Op-Ed page of the New York Times (September 13, 2005). The piece was written by John Tierney and published on the second day of John Roberts’ confirmation hearings. These questions, truly are, a classic set:
========================================

1. If Roe v. Wade were a tree, what kind of tree would it be?

2. Is there any chance that you could speed up Justice Stevens's retirement by addressing him as "Gramps"?

3. After seeing a judge's robes in a Gilbert and Sullivan production, Chief Justice Rehnquist added gold stripes to his robe. If confirmed, will you keep the stripes, or do you have a whole new look in mind?

4. In your best judgment, did Brad and Jen really just grow apart, or was it Angelina's fault?

5. From your analysis of constitutional history, would you classify James Madison as a dog person or a cat person?

6. Suppose you'd been in Solomon's place when he proposed cutting the baby in two. And suppose neither woman objected. Would you have cut the baby? Flipped a coin? Or opted for foster care?

7. You've said you're a devotee of P. G. Wodehouse. Of the current justices, who is most like Jeeves? Who's most like Bertie Wooster?

8. Would you consider instituting a casual Friday dress policy on the bench?

9. Would it be a violation of Lois Lane's so-called right to privacy if Superman used his X-ray vision to look through her clothes?

10. Would you think it's cool if a professional wrestler dubbed himself Chief Justice, or would you sue him for trademark infringement?

11. During the announcement of your nomination at the White House, your son distracted the president with an impromptu dance. When you got home that night, what happened to him?

12. Would Thomas Jefferson have preferred the Beatles or the Stones?

13. After Justice Souter's opinion in the Kelo case endorsed the use of eminent domain to seize peoples' homes for a higher "public use," a group proposed that the town of Weare in New Hampshire increase its tax revenue by taking Justice Souter's property there so that a developer could build a resort called the Lost Liberty Hotel. Would your family ever vacation there?

14. What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and three legs in the evening?

15. When you were a clerk at the Supreme Court, Chief Justice Warren Burger was disliked for his pretentiousness. What nickname did the clerks have for him? Burger King?

16. Does President Bush have a nickname for you yet?

17. When justices have birthday parties, should they invite all the other justices, or can they invite just the ones they like?

18. If Vice President Dick Cheney and Justice Scalia invited you duck hunting, would you go?

19. If Judge Judy isn't afraid of television cameras in her courtroom, why is the Supreme Court so chicken?

20. Ashley or Mary-Kate?

21. Your passion for correct grammar and syntax is well known, but you have yet to inform the American people of your position on the serial comma. In the phrase "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness," should there be a comma after "liberty"?

22. How would you edit this sentence to make it grammatically correct?: "I swear I ain't never gonna overturn Roe v. Wade."

Certificates

I write today about an innocuous looking piece of paper. You know, the fancy type of paper with nice black borders and your name written in fancy calligraphy (probably by some loser of an ass kisser in high school who, in turn, got to write himself a certificate for writing certificates for others). Before I get too carried away, I must reveal my inspiration for this posting.

About a year ago I was back home (that’s Nairobi, Kenya for those of you still not in the know) and sorting through a whole bunch of garbage. Mostly old report cards – and when I say old, I mean old – like the one from St. Mary’s School saying that I was very talkative in class. I stopped attending St. Mary’s when I was five. Oh but there were report cards from every semester from every year of school. All saying what a marvelous student I am and what not (maybe not all of them, but there is no way you can check that out because I have thrown them all away).

But the other things that absolutely blew my mind was the sheer plethora of certificates I had collected over my many years in school. A sample of all the certificates I have “earned” to date:

  • Certificate of Commendation from an art competition dated 1989 – considering that you don’t see my paintings in museums, galleries or shops of any sort, it would also be safe to assume that my painting skills border on suckage

  • Certificate of Participation from a play (Beastly Tales, by Vikram Seth) that I did in my first year in boarding school – circa 1992. It was a good play and all, but my role was limited to “Person in Crowd - #4” (show up as part of a throng, yell some mumbo-jumbo, exit stage). Basically I got a certificate for being a person (not even a man; and this in an all boys boarding school) in the crowd, and I wasn’t even the lead person (I was #4)… yes, I can look back and say that I earned that one.

  • Certificate of Participation for playing field hockey for my house in high school (if you have not studied in the British system, I am going to have a hard time explaining to you what exactly constitutes a “house”). We finished fourth. Our school had four houses. Yes, there was major suckage going on.

  • Certificate of Commendation from my high school for completing the requisite number of community service hours. We were all required to complete a certain number of community service hours in a year – then why on earth do I have a certificate for something I was supposed to do? Its not like I get a certificate for showing up to school or passing a class. And its community service for crying out loud – its supposed to make you feel warm and fuzzy and fill you up with moral values and what not (actually, it’s a very sobering experience, but ask me about that later).

My point is this, schools operating under the British system place way too much of an emphasis on certificates, thereby demeaning the value of someone who has actually earned them. For instance, one of my friends in high school used to play cricket for the Kenyan junior team – a decent achievement but not one that he got a certificate for. I tried telling him that my participation in an art competition in 1989 was a more laudable achievement (I did have a certificate). I think he socked me in the face.

Certificates should be something that are earned – something like a reward. My diploma, for instance, looks a lot like many of the other certificates that I have. Actually I have some multi-colored certificates which look a whole lot more appealing than the black and cream piece of paper that I got from the University of Texas at Austin. However, it is worth a lot more to me because I actually put in four years of hard work (ok, I lie… maybe, cumulatively, a semester). It’s the way certificates should be. It’s the reason you do not get certificates of participation in the Olympics – its Gold, Silver, Bronze or also ran.

If you thought that was crazy, consider the reality that I have been collecting these for about 20 years (like I said, back then you got one for simply showing up). My parents still collect them for my sister. And they are proud of every single one that I have sitting in that blue Telco folder back home. At the end of the day, its just a waste of paper if you ask me.

My two cents
(I don’t think that was a great post – look for something deeper in the coming days).

Thursday, September 08, 2005

10 Questions....

1. If you were in outer space and farted really hard, would you propel yourself forward?

2. If you were a guy and it were possible for you to bear children (as in you would be carrying a foetus for 9 months – think Ahnold in Junior), would you do so?

3. How many men you know do you think would volunteer for such a surgery / other procedure?

4. Do you see any logic in mankind spending resources developing this kind of capability?

5. G-Dub – Dumb Nitwit or Numb Dingbat?

6. The power to be invisible and smell like shit, or the power to fly and taste like piss?

7. Britney or Christina?

8. Endless travel or endless pampering?

9. To be with someone you love, or to be love by the person you are with?

10. Are we there yet?

Supreme Court battles & random songs.... seems like Wacko Jacko is back..

This blog update has been so long coming I might as well have started a new blog. So much has happened since I last updated this thing – I visited the state of Washington, I visited my grandparents in India, the English team may (just may) be on the brink of beating the Aussies and reclaiming the ashes (given how day 1 went, may just happen), many people finally figured out David Beckham for what he is (under-talented and over-rated), had a little crisis of sorts in my personal life [a rather deep crisis if you ask me], and college football started off again. Which brings me to an even bigger crisis – if there is a weekday night Texas football game, am I going to pick my lover Jon or my starlet Vince? Did I mention, college football is back?

William Rehnquist popped it. Probably was coming any way… and John Roberts has been nominated to the position of Chief Justice – if there were ever a stellar career, this would be it. Another reason to go to Harvard Law. But, there remains an intriguing question – who would I vote to fill the empty seat on the Supreme Court?

My vote goes for Jon Stewart. Yes he may not have a lot of political / legal experience, but neither did the American president, and look at what a fine job he has done. I mean, this is the only straight talking person in the media; wrote a book which included pictures of the 9 supreme court justices – in the buff; tells an idiot that he is a bow-tie wearing idiot on national TV, and is as comfortable interviewing Andre Jackson as he is with Rick Santorum (what’s up with Republicans and bow-ties… do they realize that bow-ties are today found mostly in aisle 9 of my supermarket under pastas?). So yes, Jon it must be. Not to forget, he does a kick ass G-dub impersonation and would probably write an opinion that was straightforward and dripping with sarcasm.

Consider the following Supreme Court opinion:

We find it unnecessary to decide whether the District Court erred in withholding injunctive relief, for we assume the Texas prosecutorial authorities will give full credence to this decision that the present criminal abortion statutes of that State are unconstitutional.

The judgment of the District Court as to intervenor Hallford is reversed, and Dr. Hallford's complaint in intervention is dismissed. In all other respects, the judgment [410 U.S. 113, 167] of the District Court is affirmed. Costs are allowed to the appellee.
It is so ordered.


Yawn….

Now consider how Jon Stewart might have delivered the same opinion

If the bizzle wizzle an abozzle, gizzle her wizzle

So much more fun and interesting… think of the possibilities


Oh yeah, I have a completely new set of favorite lyrics. Here they are in no particular order:
======================================

...oooh you touch my tra-la-la…. My ding ding dong (yes, this is an actual song, actually being sold on iTunes)


But I talk in the mirror
To the stranger that appears
Our conversations are circles
Always one sided
Nothing is clear
Except we keep coming back
To this meaning that I lack
He says that the choices were given
Now you must live them
Or just not live
But do you want that?

Monday, March 28, 2005

To chanmester and back....

I ended up going to Manchester this weekend (or chanmester, if you prefer to call it that) - and yes, it was a weekend trip. I left the US on Friday afternoon and came back on Sunday evening. The brits (or maybe the Americans) are definitely doing things the wrong way.

What is the first thing that happens to me at Manchester airport? I step on to the moving walkway on the right.... and fall flat on my face. Apparently, the brits drive on the other side of the road, and I guess moving walkways follow this convention too. The least they could do was post a sign for idiot foreigners like me. But i guess that is why i am an idiot tourist and not some Lordy-Dukey Prince or something. Oh yeah, Manchester airport needs a better duty free shop (any airport where the top whiskey is the green label, NEEDS a new duty free shop). And Washington Dulles can start by having a duty free shop in the arrivals section - what are poor people like me supposed to do for our alcohol and tobacco fixes... pay British prices?? Oh blimey!

Manchester itself was loads of fun. The guy at the B&B remembered me as the bloke who had lost his wallet and stayed a night for free. Considering this happened about six months ago, this is quite a remarkable occurence.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Oh the randomness in my life...

I'm going to be just like you: the job, the family, the fucking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electrical tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisurewear, luggage, three-piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters, getting by, looking ahead, to the day you die.

====================

So this time around I am actually going to write something of note over here. Be warned, this may be a long one considering I have a lot to write about. Girl information -- Ami needs to get her ass back into this country. Most immigrants stay in this country for life once they get their green card - Ami has decided to re-immigrate to India (single handedly bucking the trend and all). If you want her back in this country, email me and I will forward your email to her (somehow, I'm thinking she wont be too happy with me posting her contact information on this site). Laura is a fun girl too... she likes ducks, loves new york (who doesn't?), has a cat with no tail and feels extremely comfortable discussing the architectural qualities of the Atlanta Marriott. On yeah, she is also a newfound Keane fan... what more could you want?

Anyways, the real reason for this posting is that I have been doing way to many random things in my life. I was in Austin a week ago and had an awesome time hanging out with Vinee and the rest of the "Austin gang". Yes, this would be the same Vinee who kicked the "you-know-what" out of her radiator in New York [to read more about my past New York trip, read the post titled "In New York you can forget..."].

But I digress.

What I really want to get off my chest is that I took a blow up doll as my date to a lunch get together this weekend. We were supposed to bring our significant others to the lunch but, considering that I'm so full of myself that I dont bother to actually go out and get myself a significant other, I decided to take along a blow up doll. And if you think that was funny, consider the fact that I had to walk into an adult store with Vinee and ask for a blow up doll. Or, driving down Mopac at 70 miles per hour with Vinee blowing up the doll in the passenger seat. Or, me having to continue driving down Mopac with a blown up doll spread across the front seats and reaching between her legs to hold on to the steering wheel [I just wanted to say "reaching between her legs"... :-)]. So that was last weekend...

This week, I ended up booking a trip to Manchester [that would be the city of Manchester in the United Kingdom all the way across the Atlantic and not Manchester, New Hampshire which is not all that far away]. Stranger still is the fact that I am only going for a day. Yes, I am flying out of Minneapolis on Friday evening, reaching Manchester at 7 AM on Saturday, and taking a 4:30 flight back from Manchester on Sunday. A rather crazy stunt to pull, if you ask me considering that the last time I was in Manchester I ended up being relived of my wallet and about $3000 with it. But, it is Manchester and they do have a Zaras!!!

I am going to stop talking now... but not before I tell you that I am a founding member of a wine club. The other founder, and so far only member, is my colleague Kerry Lyle. In the weeks ahead, I will tell the world more about my wine escapades. Till then, adieu.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Too long...

So this has been a while coming (its been more than a month!!) - my apologies to all my die hard fans out there. A lot has happened in the last month... I cant think straight right now; I need a new project manager - I need to get my thoughts together before I type anymore.

For now, Hi.

Laura is a fun girl.

I dated a blow up doll over the weekend.

Fish is good.

Stories... stories...

I miss Austin.

I miss yum yum.

Alright, I'm out of here

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

A Matter of Principle...

I am profoundly amazed by the stupidity and passiveness of many of the people in the world. It is why businesses get away with charging us for stuff that should be included in the price anyway. I am not opposed to paying a couple of extra dollars for something, just do charge me money for something frivolous.

For example, Ticketmaster charges a "Convenience Fee" of about $8 per ticket [yes, that is per ticket]. I am yet to figure out exactly what convenience I am paying for. Ticketmaster, or the venue, has to print my tickets anyway. So I cannot understand why I am charged a convenience fee even if choose the "will call " option. Additionally, I will be charged postage if I choose to have my tickets mailed to me - this is over and above the "convenience fee". What exactly is the convenience I am being charged for by Ticketmaster? I dont mind them including the extra $8 in the cost of the ticket and charging me one flat price... it just annoys me that they would break it up and force me to pay the extra amount.

The Chicago Transit authority also annoys me. CTA bus & train fares are $1.75 - and the buses do not provide any change. Most people who pay cash, do not have a suitcase full of quarters lying at home to pony up the required 75 cents twice a day [once in the morning and once in the evening]. Which means that on every trip, they are shortchanged by 25 cents. Now I would not mind if the CTA upped its fares to $2... just dont make an extra buck in such an underhanded manner. Its practically sleazy.

Oh yes, I am also amazed by those stupid people from Philly who are taking out second mortgages on their homes just to go see their team in the Superbowl [but its a chance of a lifetime!]. I dont know which is the stupider party - the people taking out the mortgages, or the banks who are actually lending them money for such a stupid purpose. By the way, given their history its not like the Eagles are going to win this game or anything.

But anyway, those are my two cents for the day. One of these days I will actually get inspired enough to write something decent over here.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Zombies, snow, Rice, Jonathan Franzen

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let It Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!


================================================

So I have been holed up in my apartment for most of the weekend, which seems like a common enough occurence in this part of the world [Chicago] come winter. The cold is annoying, but you can bundle up against it, but the huge dump of snow that we received is positively annoying. Its practically impossible to walk outside without sinking knee deep into snow. And considering I have hardwood floors, the little puddles of snow melting from my shoes do not help at all.

But I digress. Before all this snow decided to get dumped on this wonderful city, before I vegetated for most of the Saturday waiting for the playoffs [before ultimately figuring out that they were scheduled for Sunday], before I went to the gym and ran eight and a half miles [yes, I did that on Saturday]... I went for dinner with an awesome lady on Saturday night. And we were having a good time; good food and good conversation and all, when all of a sudden she asks me what my thoughts were on zombies. My first thought [which I did not publicly divulge] was that it is a pretty good song. But I figured she was not asking me about this. I went on to learn that there is a zombie army out there and there was also some talk about the zombie apocalypse - all this has definitely left me a little confused. I have never heard of any of these things [and I have heard of a lot of crazy stuff during my lifetime]. We moved on and talked about a lot of other random stuff, and on the whole it was a great night and I hope i get to meet her again. But in the end i am a little curious; let me know if you have heard of some such phenomenon.

Perhaps the highlight of last week was Rice's confirmation hearing. Yes, its a sad, sad day when such a bright and respected lady stoops to becoming a stooge and a sycophant. You could be forgiven for thinking that an academic would have a somewhat scientific approach to dealing with a problem, collecting the facts and doing the analysis. But Ms. Rice has thrown all that out with the bath water - all she is worried about is agree with the President and saying yes to every trivial fancy of his [speaking of the president - he desparately needs a new speech writer... slogans like "Axis of Evil" and "Outposts of Tyranny" almost seem better suited for an ad campaign for some camping equipment company rather than a president's vision. And no, he is nowhere near the charismatic leader one needs to be - think Reagan & Clinton - to deliver so many purple phrases without it seeming completely fake.]. Again, I digress. My point in bringing up Rice's confirmation hearing is to draw attention to the literal catfight that erupted between her and one of the senators. There is now a website dedicated to the catfight [www.confirmationvixens.com] which sells various clothing items - I ordered a pair of boxers. I can now literally "sit on" Ms. Rice all day long.

In the end, I want to draw your attention to this marvelous book by Jonathan Franzen; "Corrections". Its about one seriously dysfunctional family, and really, its the coming together of the Royal Tennebaums and Trainspotting. Eccentric, filled with all sorts of sins, amusing and absolutely terrific. Go ahead, get yourself a copy.

Friday, January 07, 2005

From the White House to "Why Cal Should Shut Up" in 6 degrees (or less)

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it
Oh love look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it

------ (u2 -- Stuck in a Moment You Cant Get Out Of)



So I am still not fully together after the whole Vince Young vs. Michigan game. If Texas played every game the way they played that game [or the way they played in the second half against Oklahoma State], we would be racking up the national championships. Honestly though, the guy is supremely talented and I dont care if he cannot pass like Chad Henne or Matt Leinart - any QB who is good for 300+ yards a game is a good QB; all the better if he is a dual threat QB like Young. Also, open wager that he will not leave Texas early for the NFL (the last person to do that, the rather untalented Kwame Cavil is now languishing in that great white beyond that is known as the CFL). People just dont leave Texas early - this is a quality, quality program that is run exceptionally cleanly. And yes, Mack Brown is a good coach who has put the Texas program firmly back on the map again.

But, the real point of this entry, is to go from that fountain of infinite wisdom and morality (the White House) to that powerhouse of a football conference with a team from Berkeley that (honestly) got what it deserved in 6 steps or less.

Step 1:
George Bush (the supreme leader of the bastion of infinite wisdom and morality, and chieftain of the land of the free gift with purchase) called Mack Brown to congratulate him on his Rose Bowl victory.

Step 2:
Mack Brown coaches the Texas Longhorns who, as alluded to before, beat the Michigan Wolverines (yes, these are the same Longhorns for whome Vince Young plays and the same Longhorns who walloped Texas Tech earlier in the year - but more on that later).

Step 3:
The Michigan Wolverines are from the mathematically challenged Big 10, and they traditionally play the winner of the Pacific 10 conference in the Rose Bowl. People were pissed off before hand that Texas "crashed" the Rose Bowl, but after the game everyone could talk enough about Vince Young and Texas; I now wish they would shut up and let me get my sleep. As a completely separate note, did it ever occur to the Big 10 that they could add Notre Dame (which, right now, is doing nothing to justify its big money exclusive contract with NBC) and they would not even have to worry about a name change?

Step 4:
The Pacific 10 conference winner was USC which ended up playing in national championship game and gave the Sooners the kind of walloping the Sooners habitually unleash on Texas. The runner up in this conference was Cal - which made the case that they should be in the Rose Bowl instead of Texas (puhleeeze).

Step 5:
Cal played Texas Tech in the Holiday Bowl, and did not even put up a decent performance. Tech walked all over Cal and Leach's offense settled into its orgy of pass plays resulting in multiple touchdown orgasms over the course of the evening. Cal, couldn't even get up and play. Needless to say, Tech was clearly the best team on the day AND over the course of the season [Cal has a cupcake schedule and does not face teams even remotely resembling OU, Texas, OK State, and Texas A&M year in and year out].

Step 6:
Earlier in the season, this same very good Tech team was beaten by a much better Longhorn team. It wasnt an easy victory, but it was by many measures a very convincing victory [the Longhorns won 51-31]. End result, Cal did not belong in the Rose Bowl, and Texas did.

Jeff Tedford and Aaron Rodgers can shove all the garbage they have spoken over the past month where the sun doesn't shine. Here is to hoping they go back to a 6-6 season next year and suffer yet another embarassing bowl defeat.

Enjoy the new year everyone, and remember, if you ever want to drink away your college football blues in Chicago, just drop me a line.

Friday, December 31, 2004

Suck on it Cal!!!

A nice big, hearty "SUCK ON IT!!!" to Aaron Rodgers (who had a pretty classless performance against Texas Tech last night) and Jeff Tedford (I will pay for a copy of the press conference from after yesterday's game).

Oh yeah, the PAC-10 also sucks with its easier than cupcake schedule. Auburn ought to be playing in the Orange Bowl.

I saw the Holiday Bowl last night and (hangover permitting) will be seeing the Cotton Bowl tomorrow - but no Texas in either one of them this time around :)

Happy New Year everyone.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Bush... & Clinton to blame for Social Security mess

Let me start with making a fundamental declaration - I am not against privatizing social security. We [in America] already have a private version of Social Security called a 401(k). The existing private retirement fund is actually an excellent plan.

A 401(k) enables an employee to make pre-tax contributions into an investment account. Most plans provide the individual investor with a range of investment options, which they can tailor to suit their needs. An employee can take their 401(k) with them when they leave a company [contrary to popular belief, a rollover is a relatively painless process that takes about 10 minutes of online time and 3-5 days of mail time]. The employee can cash out on their 401(k) upon retirement and essentially use it as income. On the whole, I must say I am rather content with my 401(k), and am willing to concede payroll taxes if it means I can put more money into my private savings account.

Social Security works a little differently. Every worker pays into the fund, and that fund is dispersed to current retirees based on the amounts they contributed over their lifetime. A little confusing, but an example will make things a lot clearer. Assume Sue and Bob are the only workers and over their lifetimes they make contribution of $600 and $400, respectively. Further assume, that in their first year of retirement there is only $100 in the Social Security fund. In this case, Sue would get $60 (i.e. 60% of the fund, which is the size of her lifetime contributions relative to the size of other retirees lifetime contributions). Bob, by the same token, receives $40.

Quite obviously, for Social Security to work effectively the contributions [from American workers] must exceed the payments being made out to retirees. This has been the case since the very beginning of the Social Security system, but two developments threaten to derail the system. An aging population means that people are living longer these days [largely due to the benefits of modern medicine] which means they are collecting Social Security checks for a longer period of time. At the same time, this is also the time that many of the baby boomers are retiring - meaning there is a trend towards a greater number of retirees than workers. Obviously, this has dire implications for the solvency of Social Security.

To be frank, the only way to transition from the current system to a private retirement fund, is to gradually divert payroll taxes from the Social Security fund and into private 401(k)s. To be even more honest, for this to happen without millions of American losing their livelihood the government must be prepared to cover the shortfall by writing really big checks into the Social Security Fund. And this is where Bush and Clinton have failed miserably.

Bush primarily because he clearly lacks in aptitude, and Clinton because he squandered a golden opportunity. Bush, for all the talk about him being a fiscal conservative, completely any of the fiscal prudence and economic conservatism that is needed to revamp Social Security. He has shown a complete inability to balance a budget, and has indeed squandered away huge chunks of surpluses to retarded economic policies. Dude, I can balance my checkbook, why on earth can't the world's most sophisticated economy do the same [the argument that deficits don't matter is moot for the same reason that you live within your means]? Moreover, probably the only thing more retarded than the current economic policies is the person drawing them up. John Snow could not run a rail road to save the skin on his backside. Why on earth is he still in charge of running a sophisticated economy? The eighth wonder of the world perhaps? Clearly, to save Social Security one must be prepared to write [essentially] blank checks into the social security fund, and have a really smart economic brain to coordinate the process. Bush fails spectacularly on both counts.

Clinton, however, had both those luxuries. During his tenure, budgets were balanced and both the federal budget and the social security fund had large surpluses. Moreover, two brilliant, brilliant economists [Rob Rubin and Larry Summers] headed the Treasury. They both were and still are more than capable of guiding the American economy through such a difficult process. Clinton had all the pieces to effect change - but like all politicians he was extremely myopic and let the challenge pass for someone else.

Clinton spent a lot of time trying to make a lasting Middle-East peace his legacy; perhaps his greater legacy would have been revamping Social Security.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Kudos

So I have been away from this for a while - I have valid excuses; Turkey day came around and I discovered my photos and spent hours and hours ogling at them (more on this later). Oh yeah, Texas also made it to a BCS bowl [Cal is so going to get walloped by Mike Leach and his throw happy offense].

But back to the photos. Two days after posting a message that I had lost my film and that I would have to describe my trip to Scotland, I discovered my film in my laptop bag [I mean, who the hell puts their film in a laptop bag?]. But this was after searching three different houses and yelling at the customer service girl at the Hilton in Dallas [I felt bad about this one] - but in the end I found the photos; a lot of which have come out really well.

If you want to see the pictures, email me for an invitation to ofoto.

But here is something that is way long overdue - a long list of kudos to all the wonderful folks i have had a chance to meet in the two months in Scotland. Yes, I realize a lot of them are Aussies and Kiwis, but for some reason the whole of Britannia seems to be crawling with the sons and daughters of ex-convicts long banished. But I digress, here are the kudos, in no particular order


  • Kudos to Perry Melange who helped me in my hour of need. After confirming that I had lost my wallet and that I was indeed penniless in Manchester, Perry sat with me and funded a session of "sorrow drowning" - definitely made me stop thinking about that lost money (if you dont know this yet, I lost a whole whole lot). Cash that check I gave you Perry!!
  • Kudo's to the random bunch of aussies in london with whom we had many a drunken game (and by drunken game I mean four seminaked aussies and a seminaked Indian in a Marriott in the heart of London). Awesome people to drink a couple of beers with any time of the day, and I really do mean any time of the day!
  • Kudos to the wonderful, wonderful Scottish couple on the island of Arran. They took me in [when I was faced with the prospect of waiting two hours for the next bus] and fed me tea, cake and the water of life. They also live in a 300 year old house which overlooks the atlantic and has been handed down through the ages. Talk about the good life.
  • Colleen - that was one great night in Fort William (hehehe....). I dont think I will ever have more fun watching a TV show about shit overflowing from a Brit's toilet and into his house. Poor guy, couldn't even have his tea in peace. Oh yeah, Colleen is also Australian and taught me the word Hoik (meaning, to throw something away; e.g. i hoiked away my old pair of shoes). Let me know if you ever end up working that ski lift in Canada.
  • Much props to Rob, Kaleb, Christine, Jessica, and the rest of the Australian crew at the bar in Glasgow, who spent countless hours (and probably lost some tips) trying to teach me the Australian way to say "G'day! G'Day" - there is, apparently, a correct way of doing this and I am convinced that this is something that cannot be possibly be done by anyone but an Aussie.
  • Thank heavens for the sane, blonde Scottish girl who was awfully polite to me when I walked up to her at the bar and told her "I'll come home with you, but I am not promising anything". It was a dare. Then again, this was a Trainspotting moment in the quintessential Trainspotting town - it just had to be done.
  • Hats of to Franz, Anke, Mark, Chris and Luis with whom I had loads and loads of fun on the West Highland Way. I mean, any trip in which you walk about 15 miles and finish a bottle of Scotch everyday has to be a good trip. Oh yeah, "rolling in grass" was also a lot of fun. Chris at somepoint during the trip was actually half-way serious about trying to catch a rabbit to make some gold old rabbit stew (Chris was from Blackpool in England where this is apparently a fun thing to do... along the lines of fox hunting, another retarded sport). I think everyone should do the West Highland Way at least once in their lives just becuase it is such an awesome side of Scotland that most people do not see.
  • Finally, a loud [Really LOUD] shout out and lots of love to wonderful Genevive, with whom I had an awesome time in Edinburgh. She is one of the sweetest, most awesome people I have ever spent time with. She is also one of the first Kiwi's I have actually met and had a conversation with. She is also the only person i have tried Haggis with and also the dork who set me off on my Trainspotting "I'll come home with you but I am not promising anything" dare. Those four days were really great and I wish she would move here :( ... I miss you Genny

Anyway all, I will try to update this as often as I can, but in case I do not do so before the Christmas break, you all have a wonderful shopping & gift giving bonanza.

Muks

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Randomnity

This one is going to be a little short given that everyone has to head off somewhere to gobble turkey and stuffing and stuff.

Funny IM conversations of the day (there were quite a few today):

-------------------------

X: i have a really, really retarded question
Y: ask
X: what are the odds that i will get a hard on when i am getting waxed?
X: cause that would be damn embarassing
Y: lol

(names have been changed to protect identities)

---------------------------

kanika says: heyyy
Enivhsay says: where are yo
Enivhsay says: u
kanika says: at work
kanika says: u?
Enivhsay says: la-pata
Enivhsay says: at work
kanika says: what the hell is that
Enivhsay says: lapata
kanika says: oh hindi
kanika says: got it
Enivhsay says: the hindi word for missing
Enivhsay says: he he
kanika says: i thought it was la pata like la something french
Enivhsay says: ha ha
Higher interest rates rock!! says: you should have tried to convince her that the hindi word for missing is the same as the french word for missing (lapata vs. la-pata)
Higher interest rates rock!! says: THAT, would have been hilarious
Enivhsay says: ha ha ha ha

----------------------------

AsH - I Got 5 on it! says: dude
AsH - I Got 5 on it! says: some guy in kuwait got killed after taking a kick in the ass
AsH - I Got 5 on it! says: from a camel!!!


Guess that is about all for now. Have a happy thanksgiving everyone [and please think about all the Turkeys that have died for you - do not let their deaths be in vain]. Next, week, in lieu of photographs from Scotland (since I have lost the rolls :( ), I will be writing about my trip (How fun!).

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Retarded research

Quite a poopy day at work. But thats another story.

The big news today is that they released a study which concluded that "... about half of all HIV patients are women...".

No shit sherlock.

Lets look at this statistically. The global population distribution, I am willing to bet, approximates to a normal distribution based on any number of criteria [age, diet, hair loss, ramen noodles intake (this may be slightly skewed towards college towns), frequency of bikini waxes, etc. etc.]. On one key variable however, the world's population behaves binomially, i.e. it can take on only one of two values.

I do not need to have a PhD in anything to explain to you that those two values are "male" and "not male" [or, conversely, "female" and "not female"]. The reason we define them thus is to deal with you smartasses who say "well, what about those mighty hermaphrodites?". This is when i speak to you in a really condescending tone and tell you that the binomial variables are defined as "male" and "not male" [or its converse] and not as "male" and "female" (under the latter we would not be accounting for hermaphrodites).

Furthermore, we all know by the sheer numbers involved that the ratio of hermaphrodites to non-hermaphrodites in the world's population is extremely small. In fact, with over 1million test-tube births to date, there has been only one case of a hermaphrodite [born to a nervous wreck of a couple in Atlanta]. Thats 1 part per million - guys, even six sigma shit-shat is missing this one by a factor of about 300%. All of which brings me to the point that the number of hermaphrodites in any global population study has to be statistically insignificant [remember, even Six-sigma shit-shat has nothing on this]. And this in turn, brings me to another interesting fact - that the number of males and females in the world are roughly equal.

Moreover, given the relatively large population size [i.e. the world's population of roughly 6+ billion people], it can be statistically shown that any number of smaller samples will be independently and identically distributed. Which means that the portion of males to females [to hermaphrodites, if you continue to insist] in a sample, will approximate to the same ratio in the population.

Which means, that this trend will be reflected in a large sample of - and I am just completely spitballing / throwing shit out here - say, HIV patients. Which would lead you to the logical conclusion that about half of all HIV patients are women.

No shit sherlock.

And now, if you were really smart, and had a Phd in time series analysis from Yale or Oxford, you would be able to figure out that since two halves make a whole, and one half of the HIV patient population is occupied by women, the other half must be occupied by male members of society.

No shit sherlock.

Talk about utterly pointless research.

Random IM conversation piece of the day comes to you courtesy of the next Pulitzer Prize winning journalist (from Austin):

utexas2002: yeah, i gotta go
utexas2002: there's a tornado
muxraj: lol
utexas2002: no joke
utexas2002: i have to go (it's there, not here, and believe it or not, I have to go to it).

Addendum:

Muchas gracias to yogababe for letting me use her "no shit sherlock" signature line.

Q: What happens when yogababe goes to Greece for a holiday?
A: She becomes togababe... ;)
(I just thought of that one.... few people in the world would find that hilarious... let me know if you do)

The above "statistical analysis" is limited to the species homo sapiens [also known as humanus retardus] - hermaphrodites are a lot more common in other animal species (which would therefore not make them statistically insignificant). Six-sigma has something on them.

Monday, November 22, 2004

In New York you can forget...

In New York you can forget
Forget how to sit still
Tell yourself you will stay in
But it's down to Alphaville

-----------------------------------

I spent last weekend in New York with my wonderful host Eenivhsay - who is quite a cool person. She also goes by YB (short for Yogababe) or V-Meister (ala Stiffmeister - because she is as much of a player as Stiffler). She has this ever mischievous, devilish grin on her face and is always up for a good time (yes, even after losing a credit card at 3 in the morning). She also tackled an exploding radiator (more on this later) and gave me a place to shack up for the night at the very reasonably priced Mukund Rajan discount plan [i.e. free]

But let me tell you about New York. My favorite moments from my trip to New York

  • Landing in New York
  • Seeing Eenivhsay in her awesome new (and soon to be old) pad - where the food never goes cold :)
  • Mindless chatter with Eenivhsay about equally mindless things. If people overheard our conversations, they would think that we were pretty nuts. But to us those conversations are rather funny. And mindless
  • The first lychee martini I have ever had
  • If you thought the first one was good, you ought to have tried the second one. Oh yeah, the complimentary bowl of lychees definitely rocked
  • The city - so many tall buildings, so many things to do, so many nice restaurants and bars
  • Eenivhsay, stopping in the middle of the street with the silliest grin on her face, jumping up and down and saying equally to Aarti and me - "Oh...Mukund knows Siku! Mukund knows Siku"
  • Meeting the Nation of Islam at her birthday party - she is one heck of a girl. All of you should say hi to her when you are in NYC
  • Listening to Choli ke Peechay Kya Hai at a nightclub in the Village (where else??). For the culturally ignorant, Choli ke Peechay Kya Hai was a Hindi movie song from a decade ago which translates, not too subtlely as "What is behind your brasierre". If you must know, its her "heart", which she will only give to her "friend"
  • Listening to that "In-a the ghetto" song in the same nightclub. Admit it, you know exactly which song I am talking about because you danced to it at your stupid middle school dances
  • My rebonding with my deshland in Jackson heights [every Indian, much as they will bitch and moan and whine about India, will eat like there is no tomorrow when they show up at Jackson heights]. The paan was awesome too
  • The exploding radiator - we both thought, for a brief period of time that the radiator in Eenivhsay's bedroom was going to explode. Then she took it by the you know what and kicked the you know what out of it. Silence ensued
  • My dream - it wasnt clear to me on Sunday morning, but it is a lot clearer to me now. This happened after the radiator threatened to explode and we both left the room to go sleep elsewhere in the apartment. At some point I dreamt that there were no more exploding noises coming so I asked Eenivhsay what she did to make it stop. She said that her roommate (I cannot for the life in me remember his name - but I can tell you that it sounds a whole lot like the only chemical element with a German name: Wolfram) checked out the radiator and fixed it. Apparently the water was circulating at 10,000 cycles per hour and the radiator was built for 12,000. Dont ask me how i dreamt that one up - just ask Wolfram how he fixed it.
  • Did I mention New York is just a fun place?


Monday, November 15, 2004

All things Football...

Admitedly, this column is a little late coming around this time... but what can I do; I was busy delivering work on time and waaaaay above client expectations. But amongst all that work, I decided to take a break and touch upon a matter near and dear to my heart - College Football.

As some of you may know and many of you may not care, I am a huge fan of Texas football. Its great to walk into DKR Memorial stadium on Saturday and listen to the crowd and soak it all in. It is great to watch games like the one against Oklahoma State and Kansas and see just what a team like Texas is capable [which leads you to ask, why the hell cant we play like that against OU]. Since I love college football so much, I am making a list of the things I passionately hate about it:

  • Teams that wear white lycra [e.g. Texas] must make the lycra thick enough that they dont become see through with the slightest bit of moisture [and you know football players sweat during a game]. Imagine..... a 350 lbs lineman playing on a rainy day wearing Texas' signature white see through lycra - sweet dreams.
  • Mack brown should stay... to hell with the eyes of Texas being on Spurrier and all that. Too many whiners who dont know enough about college football seem to be giving their two cents... Just what has Spurrier done that Mack Brown has not (? Texas plays in arguably the toughest division in college football and has had a stellar 6 years at Texas (116 other programs would kill for Texas's record over that stretch).
  • Having said that, maybe we do need a new offensive coordinator [would Norm Chow be too much to ask for?] - our offense appears pathetic at times
  • Reason # 2 Mack Brown should stay - if Mack so too does the defensive tandem of Duane Akina and Greg Robinson. Texas has allowed a grand total of 3 3rd quarter points this season. Three words: great half-time adjustments
  • The BCS sucks - the top 8 teams in the country [or top 10, if a 5th bowl is added] should play regardless of what conferences they come from. Maybe Texas is just that good and doesnt pad its schedules with cupcakes the way the Utah's and TCU's do ... here is to hoping to a Utah & Cal loss this coming weekend. A loss by either USC or Auburn will make it just that much better [no, OU will not lose this weekend]
  • Mathematically, it is still possible - can I hope for a Texas-OU Orange Bowl?
  • Have I mentioned I hate the BCS

While we are on the topic of making random lists, here is a sequence of events from this past Saturday:

  • I wake up and haul ass to north chicago to get furniture; this after three rather intense mid-week sessions
  • Pay for furtniture and make my way back home
  • On my way back home, a friend calls and mentions a scotch tasting session going on at a nearby liquor store
  • Enough said
  • Furniture is all assembled and stuff - i now have a home (as opposed to 4 walls a sleeping bag and a suitcase full of clothes)
  • I get an email from iDine notifying me of account activity at a venue I do not remember visiting on Wednesday night (yeah, it was that bad)
  • Its time to partay - like its PT's birthday
  • Having imbibed copious amounts of alcohol, cute Turkish girl and I are talking about economic freedom and independent variables
  • Get a text message at 3 in the morning from a New Yorker who is visiting Austin that reads "I just visited my first whorehouse"
  • Needless to say, no explanation follows

Oh yeah, on Monday I think I got staffed on a project out in Seattle - and got invited to a party in New York this coming Friday... all of you, please wish Mussy well on the ocassion of her %^th birthday... anyways, thats all for now folks... catch you all later

muks

PS: If you are wondering about Scotland pics, I am wondering about them too. I seem to have lost the rolls of film - so if you can help me find them, I may be tempted enough to marry you.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

What I want from G-Dub

Well, now that G-Dub has been declared the American president for the next four years, one has to wonder how on earth more than half the voters [in an election with record turnouts] felt he was a better choice. But, the important thing is to realize is that this time he actually won a majority of the [popular] vote and he won the election fair and square [I am not insinuating that the 2000 elections weren't fair and square, all I am saying is that there are some questions still unanswered]. Having said that, there are a lot of things I would like to see changed in the new administration; I sincerely doubt that these would happen, but it always helps to be an optimist.

Ashcroft must go. As an attorney general he has done everything possible to make sure that the laws of the country were selectively intepreted, including interpretations that have not been made since the days of the civil war. This was also the very same man who said "... some of these documents may have been classified in some manner at some point in time...". He is also the very same man who lost a senate race to a dead man [the widow won, with just a week and a half of campaigning]. He is too much of an idealogue to be anything remotely resembling an unbiased arbitrator.

Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice should stay, despite the troubles with the U.N. and the Iraq fiasco. They are the only two cabinet members who hold balanced views on issues, and are willing to think through the arguments [both for and against] before arriving at a course of action. Both are also extremely smart and self-made people and have come up to where they are based on their hard work and accomplishments. Indeed, Rice was a notable political scientist at Stanford long before she even came close to politics while Colin Powell is a man who has earned his plaudits and proven himself on the battlefield.

Treasury Secretary John Snow has no option but to leave. During his tenure he has done absolutely nothing to help the economy and has remained ominously silent about the long-term impact of the deficits on the US economy. The policies he is responsible for have created a woefully low number of jobs and are yet to have any tangible impact on an economy that shows no signs of a lasting recovery. If Bush [or any one of the group of people calling the shots in this cabinet] were smart, they would bring back Bob Rubin to run the treasury. Yes he is a democrat and served under Clinton, but he was also a moderate democrat and remains an economic brain. More importantly, he has proven himself on Wall Street [at Goldman Sachs, no less] and will generally be viewed as both smart and business friendly. He also has tremendous experience with the bond market; something that can be put to good use in a day when deficits run rampant.

I, personally, am still undecided on Rumsfeld. I believe he did what needed to be done in Afghanistan. The Iraq blunder is not a Rumsfeld blunder but, rather, a collective blunder in failing to plan for the aftermath. Rumsfeld did his job in ensuring that the American troops won a convincing victory (they did) - the rest of the political apparatus left him high and dry without a plan to win the peace. For this, the blame cannot be laid entirely on Rumsfeld's shoulders - it is a blame that must be shared by Bush, Cheney, Rove and Wolfowitz. And then there is the Abu Ghraib torture scandal; and I really cannot say anything about it that has not already been said.

In conclusion, I would have probably voted a Democrat - not because I found Kerry to be a solid candidate, but more because I detest almost everything that comes out of a G-Dub Whitehouse. Kerry's failing was that on too many occasions, his "plans" sounded like empty political promises with few tangible action items to back them up. While his goals of more comprehensive health coverage and saving social security are laudable, I do not believe he offered any real insight into exactly how he was going to accomplish those. From a foreign policy perspective, however, I do think Kerry would have done a significantly better job in building alliances and using American power wisely [yes, I realize I am probably flipping]. And maybe I feel this way because I am an immigrant who frequently travels abroad and better realizes foreigners' perception of America. I also believe that he would have run the country better simply because, time and again, he has shown that he is willing to surround himself with absolutely brilliant people instead of ideological yes-men [and now I am also flopping].

But all is not lost yet. There is probably some hope that Bush will be a very different President this time around and genuinely work towards improving the country. The chances of this happening are also as remote as a team from India winning the Superbowl. But, through all this gloom, a ray of light shines through. You have to admit, Bush provides incredibly better material for Jon Stewart to work with than Kerry ever would.

Guess who's back?...

This whole blogging thing has been really weird - I created an account, left the country for two months [I visited Scotland and Kenya, but more on that later] and got back barely a month ago. And then sometime yseterday, I vaguely remembered creating this blog-thing on the internets many months ago. So, I am back on the web, and hopefully, I can keep this thing going on a fairly regular basis.

So I was in Scotland for a month. It was more than pretty, it was gorgeous. I think it is a place that everyone should visit because it has something for everyone - long hikes through gently rolling hills, wonderful secluded islands that you can spend a whole day walking around and meet only a dozen people (and thats a busy day) and absolutely marvelous cities like Edinburgh and Glasgow [P.S. - If you have ever lived in Austin, you would love Edinburgh with its abundance of good bars and great people]. I also spent a couple of days in England where I had the wonderful experience of losing my wallet in a foreign country - its a great experience that I think everyone should try at least twice (in case you accidently survive the first time).

Anyway, I am back in Chicago now and having a blast [I turned down an offer in the Bay Area to stay in this lovely city]. I am working as a consultant again - continuing to do what I do best, i.e. deliver super-high impact client work (except we call it OTACE now). I have not started travelling as yet so my weekend travelling is suffering, but I am hoping that the day I start traipsing about again is just around the corner.

Its official now - we are stuck with Dubya for the next four years (or precisely 1461 more days, in case you were wondering). The only consoling factor is that a wonderful piece of work known as the "constitution" [in case creationists were wondering, it is not a buzzword akin to evolution]. The constitution says that Dubya has to leave come November 4, 2008 - so I guess that is a good thing. Anyways, I have a paycheck to earn so let me get back to pretending that I am working.


Thursday, June 03, 2004

Yawn!

I'm here now

On the web

Guess everyone should know that.